


Why Didn't You Kill Me?

by Gallanco732



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Ass-Kicking, Ben is romantic in a violent kind of way, Emperor Hux, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Medium Burn, Reincarnation, Reylo - Freeform, Reylo babies, Smut, Supreme Leader Hux - Freeform, Virgin Ben Solo, Virgin Rey, balancing the force, coup, force babies, jedi twins, padme and anakin, reverse Anidala
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-07-17
Packaged: 2019-04-01 04:35:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 44,018
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13990587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gallanco732/pseuds/Gallanco732
Summary: Picking up where the Last Jedi left off, Rey of Jakku doesn't know why she allows the force connection with Supreme Leader Kylo Ren to continue, but it will either be her doom or her salvation.





	1. Why didn't you kill me

"Why didn't you kill me?"

Rey froze as she gasped and held her breath. The connection had come on so quickly she didn’t have time to block it as she had done since the battle of Crait one month ago.

The clothes she was riffling through in the store house on the abandoned base fell to the floor. She was mercifully alone, having gone on her own to scope out some of the old buildings to see if anything was worth salvaging.

His voice was dark and low and angry.

But more than anger, she felt his hurt coursing into her. She could feel his eyes boring holes into her neck. 

“Answer me,” came the dangerous whisper of the Supreme Leader of the First Order.

Rey gathered herself and slowly turned to face him. She was not afraid of Ben Solo’s wrath, nor did she hate him. 

He was wearing new robes, regal and high collared, black and armored, befitting a galactic ruler. She met his storming dark eyes. His posture was tense, everything about his swirling emotions screamed pain and betrayal.

“Why didn’t you kill ME?” She asked smoothly, turning the tables on him.

Kylo Ren blinked in surprise not expecting this. She pushed on.

“When Snoke told you to kill me, why did you save me? Why did you kill your master if you weren’t going to come with me?”

Kylo growled and spun around, smashing something she could not see and grasping onto what may have been a desk, willing himself not to explode further.

 _Sentiment,_ he thought. _Foolish sentiment that will be the death of both of us._

 _“_ You should have killed me,” he boomed instead, “It will be your doom,” it was not so much a threat as it was a fear. The words sounded forced as he continued looking away from her. 

Rey, surprised and terrified of what she was reading from his emotions, approached the dark angry figure cautiously, slowly.

“I didn’t want to kill you,” she said taking another step, “And you didn’t want to kill me.”

“You said I’d stand with you. I DID. I stood with you in that throne room and I would do it again. But not for the First Order or the dark side,” two more steps and her hand is reaching out, instinctively wanting to touch him.

She felt his conflict pick up in intensity, his breathing was shallow, his knuckles white from gripping whatever surface he was holding onto, and there was something small but felt suspiciously like…. hope?

“You’re free now. You don’t need to do anyone’s bidding but your own. Is this really what you want?”

Her outstretched finger reached to stroke his cloaked elbow, but he pushed away and striding purposely in the other direction.

“What if it is?” he whispers.

Rey takes a moment to consider this, then steals herself, drawing herself up to her full height.

“Then I’ll stop you.”

The cloaked figure is silent a moment and then… he chuckles. Kylo turns to face her again, dark humor on his lips.

“That doesn’t sound like I’m very free then does it?”

He walks toward her now, closing the distance in a few strides, easily towering over her, daring her to over power him.

“You can’t destroy me,” he crooned deeply, his eyes hard felt like they were peering into her soul.

Rey tried to steady her breath, quell her body’s puzzling reaction to the warmth of his huge body looming over her.

“No… I’m going to save you.”

Shock, confusion, fear and that fleeting sense of hope he tries to suppress fly through their connection. His eyes soften, his eyebrows furrow almost as if in concern.

“You’ll die first…” he says with soft desperation, not as a promise but a warning.

“Your parents, Luke, Snoke, they all failed you… I wont,” she declared with the same determination as when she had spoke these words to Luke on Ach-to.

Her words and the blinding light of her resolve made him more terrified than anything else.

He backs away, eyes wide and mind raging,

“Fool,” he says. And then he’s gone.


	2. "Did you ever stop to think about what I was offering you?"

"Did you ever stop to think about what I was offering you?"

Rey breathes an exasperated sigh. She was playing a dangerous game, allowing this connection with Kylo Ren to continue. The electric intensity of their bond courses through her body, raw and warm.

But as much as she feels the danger, part of her, stubbornly, was holding onto to hope that she could get him to see the light, that she could have… that future.

Rey frowned pushing the thought away. 

“Galactic domination, death and destruction…” she rattled off, not taking her eyes away from the controls of the Millenium Flacon, “so much blood,” she whispered.

Kylo, standing in simpler black robes this time, tilted his head regarding her for a moment.

“No,” he breathed.

“The POWER to make your own reality,” he said evenly in his deep velvet voice, “A galaxy of your design…our design.”

Rey looked up at uncomfortably soft tone in his voice, and locking eyes, felt the same sweeping terror she felt upon leaving the elevator to Snoke’s throne room, _knowing_ that this monstrous man’s feelings towards her were… _different._

She shakes her head of the feeling, tearing her eyes away from his devastatingly intense deep brown ones.

Rey chooses silence over answering his comment. Her heart twanging nervously, she focuses instead on checking over her instrumentation.

She was on a mission at moment. While Leah and company prepared a workable base on a new world, she was flying Poe, Finn and a handful of others to meet some potential allies closer to the mid rim.

Watching her hands, Kylo noticed how familiar the movements were.

“You’re on the Falcon,” he says almost to himself.

Kylo Ren took a step closer and stood beside Rey where the co-pilot seat would be. Rey looked at him warily as he stretched out his hands. Kylo imagined the positions of the instruments in the cockpit under his fingers, he remembered them well. He had been aboard it not long ago, a shell of the vessel he had grown up on, learned to fly on… had watched fly away as his parent left him, alone with voices in his head and in the care of his murderous uncle.

“I suppose you would be a fan of this bucket of junk.”

Rey shot him a dirty look. The Falcon had saved the resistance. It represented her freedom from Jakku and it was more a home than any place she had yet to rest her head.

“Some garbage is worth saving,” she spat, remembering how she’d called it garbage when she and Finn were running from the First order’s Tie fighters. She would have preferred that quad jumped if it hadn’t been blown to pieces in front of them. The garbage did them much better.

“Like me?” He asked deeply.

Rey’s heart hammered in her chest as she looked back up at the dark figure standing over her, his face unreadable, his emotions an indiscernible swirl.

She stood slowly. Rey bravely, or stupidly, kept her eyes locked on his, searching for a clue on what to say next.

“You sound different,” she remarked softly, not quite able to put her finger on what had changed.

He regarded her calmly. Kylo was certainly less angry than their last conversation when he promised that leaving him alive would be her demise. He had called her a fool for wanting to save him instead of destroy him.

He seemed to make a decision, raising his eyebrows in a way that said _what the hell._

 _“_ For the first time in my life, the voices in my head are gone. I realize now that the dark whispers that tormented me from childhood were from Snoke, always from Snoke,” he was opening up to her the same way Rey had done in the hut on Ach-To after her venture into the cave.

Rey did not hide the astonishment on her face.

“What?”

Kylo pulled up a chair in the approximate position of the co-pilot seat and sat down. Rey returned to the edge of her captains seat, totally enraptured and leaning towards him..

“He cultivated the darkness that was already inside me. He used me like Han Solo said… but I’m glad he did.”

Fear came prickling back up Rey’s spine.

“It’s been _interesting_ adjusting to the silence, being alone in my own head for the first time. But I see it all clearly now. Every part of my path has prepared me to rule without remorse or sentiment, to design a future of my will…”

“You’re wrong”

He looked at her darkly.

“Your will is not what matters, we are instruments of the force, not the other way around. You must have felt what I felt when we fought side by side. _The balance!_ How perfect and powerful it was when we fought _against_ the First Order!”

“The force wills us together. To balance the galaxy side by side,” he insists.

“But not on the back of billions of repressed and abused people!”

“If you were here maybe you’d have some input on what happens to those people, BUT YOU LEFT,” he growls, “you chose to let them keep suffering rather than take my hand.”

“You were going to kill my friends! Including your own mother,” Rey is shouting back at him.

Kylo blinks in confusion.

“She… the general…”

“She survived the attack on the fleet,” Rey responds, sensing his question, “She used the force to pull herself back inside the command ship. She was very weak but Leia was there on Crait when you tried to slaughter everyone. And I was on the Falcon thank you very much. Forgive me if I’m not rushing into your arms!” 

Rage, confusion, pain come pouring out of Kylo as he tears his eyes away from hers and looks down at the floor.

 _Mother,_ he thinks, and Rey hears it. She is taken aback by the relief, longing, pain and dare-I-say love he feels for the Princess.

Kylo curses and stomps away, seemingly to the back corner of the cockpit compartment..

Rey is speechless and breathing hard. Was this really him? The man who killed his father…loves his mother? The seething dark lord stands with fists clenched, on the edge of a breakthrough or a slaughter.

Rey plays over their conversation in her head, and then slowly, as she gets her wits about her, a warm tingling of hope swells within her.

She thinks that maybe, just maybe, he wants to be saved.

They can at least agree that they both want the other on their team. And now, a shared affection for… Leia?

It may still be an impossible dream to have him betray the First Order… but…

Rey steps slowly towards him. Everyone else on board is in the middle of a sleep cycle. It’s just them.

“You’re not a sith,” she says carefully, “and I’m not all light.“

He continues looking away from her, peering up and out of what might be a window.

“I felt Snoke’s power, I channeled yours, it was… so satisfying standing over the bodies of those guards. Now, I don’t have a voice in my head but…”

But Rey gasps. Kylo turns his head over his shoulder to regard her.

“I did hear a voice,” she whispers astonished at the memory. She hadn’t had time to think about it before, “…when I gave you that scar…”

Kylo turns to face her, a soft intensity on his features as he hangs on her words.

“It told me to kill you, to finish you off, it was egging me on… it must have been him… must have been what you always heard…”

His eyes were alight.

“But I told it NO,” Rey finds strength in her voice again, “And I let go of that wonderful dark power in the throne room, because my life is not the only one that matters. How can you be a Supreme leader when you think like such a selfish child!?” 

He growls.

“If you destroy everything you hate there will be nothing left. Is that what you want? Because it seems to me… that you want to live. You want your mother to live, you want me to live…”

Kylo Ren steps towards her, crowding all of Rey’s space, just a hairs breath from being pushed up against her. Rey has to remember to breath as she stares stubbornly back into his eyes, craning her neck up to face him.

Fear, adrenaline and something else swoop through her belly. She had an idea of how he felt about her, but there was perhaps nothing in the galaxy that had ever scared her as much as this magnetic, consuming feeling she had for… _him?_

 _“_ I want you to join me,” he rumbled.

“Let go of your hate,” and her hand is reaching up without her permission, her fingers hover over the warmth of his cheek.

She touches the scar that she gave him and it’s as if the force itself sighs at the sensation. Kylo Ren’s conflict and fury melt away, he breathes and closes his eyes leaning into her touch, relishing the peace and light that comes pouring in through their contact.

“Ben…,” she whispers.

Rey feels his heart beat furiously together with hers, their auras hum, she can’t take her eyes off of his face.

“Is this how you found me?”

“Hmm?” she questions absent-mindedly.

He opens his needy eyes and they are full of fire.

“The force… is showing me where you are.”

GASP! Rey snatches her hand away like she’s been burned. Terror consumes her. That’s EXACTLY how she had found him.

“I’m coming for you, Rey.”

And he’s gone.

Panicking she flees the cockpit, running to wake up her crew.

She has to get them away from her, or they’ll die.


	3. "Up, up, up! We have a problem!"

"Up, up, up! We have a problem!"

Rey banged desperately on the sleeping quarter door. A bewildered Finn slid the compartment open, 

“What..” But she interrupted him.

“Kylo Ren is coming, he knows where we are. You need to find a planet to leave me on. If we stay together, you’ll all die.”

All Finn can do is blink.

Rey runs back in the direction of the cockpit to find the nearest habitable planet. Her wide eyed friends stumble after her, confused and frightened.

—-

“Prepare my personal shuttle!” the Supreme Leader snaps at the first officer he encounters on the way to the bridge.

That feeling is warm in his chest, an irresistible pull in the direction that the force was leading him. He had to follow her, _now._ But that didn’t mean he was going to leave that sniveling snake Hux unsupervised in his absence.

“HUX,” Ren barks, scaring the svelte red head nearly out of his skin. Kylo savors tormenting him.

The overly ambitious General schools his expression back into one of controlled calm.

“Yes, Supreme Leader.”

Kylo approaches him menacingly and in a low voice says, “You and I are going on a mission.”

Hux could not hide his gulp.

—-

“Rey you don’t have to do this,” Finn begged.

“There’s no way we can leave you alone with him, we won’t lose you, we’ll fight,” adds Poe.

Rey sighed rubbing her head. It was impossible to explain, and she couldn’t blame them. She’d never abandon one of them to mercy of the most dangerous man in galaxy. But that’s why they had to go. He won’t kill her. But he won’t think twice about slaughtering them. She explained this for what seems like the hundredth time.

“How do you know that? How can you be so sure he won’t kill you? How will you escape?”

Rey held Finn’s gaze, her first friend and fiercest protector. Rey puts a hand on his shoulder willing him to understand. It had only been a few months, but Finn was more family to her than anyone had ever been in her life.

“Finn, please trust me. I know it’s hard to believe, but there is good in Kylo Ren. He and I are the same kind of… force being… if that makes sense.”

Finn scoffs.

“He killed Snoke to save me.”

Finn and Poe sat stunned. Rey explained that she had only shared this information with Leia and they had agreed it was too sensitive to share widely with anyone else. Who would believe it? Who would understand? No, they agreed it was better that the galaxy see her as the hero who slaughtered Snoke, than the Jedi-in-training with a weird connection to Kylo Ren who inadvertently helped bring him to power.

 “If I can turn him, it could end the war…”

“No,” said Finn, repeating it over and over to himself he fled the cockpit.

“Finn…” but he was gone, his obvious hurt of not being told leaving a trail behind him.

Rey locked eyes with Poe but only saw uncertainty in his eyes.

She didn’t have time to make them understand. Kylo Ren was coming, and she had to defeat the twisted alter-ego if she was going to bring Ben Solo back to the light. She set a course for the nearest habitable planet. They’d be there within the hour, and somehow in that time, she had to convince her closest friends to let her go…and if they wouldn’t, she thought darkly, she’d have to take matters into her own hands.

—-

When the Supreme Leader insisted that he go alone to acquire the girl who murdered Snoke while Hux and a contingent of fighters held back on a destroyer, his first instinct as a tactician was to fervently advise against it. It was a sure plan for disaster, one that could end in his…death…?

A cruel grin tugged at the corners of his thin lips. Perhaps the girl would help him accomplish what he was plotting to do anyways.. with little to no effort of his own.

If Ren’ s track record with this girl was anything to go by, he would likely be left near death in the wreckage of some bizarre battle of wizardry and then… Hux wouldn’t hesitate to fire that blaster again.

“As you wish Supreme Leader,” Hux assured in his oily voice.

—-

Rey hesitantly follows Finn into the sleep compartment.

He’s sitting on the edge of his bunk, face in his hands. He speaks before she reaches him.

“When were you planning to tell me that you can talk to that monster in your head, across the whole damn galaxy?”

“Never,” she says honestly, “because I knew you’d look at me the way you are now. Like I’m a monster too.”

“No,” he says, reaching for her hands. “Rey, I want you to free of all this madness. I wanted us to run away together, to be safe.”

Gripping his hands she kneels before him.

“There’s no running away from this,” she explains gently, “It’s not something I can wish away. I _have_ to face him Finn. Or he’ll chase me around the galaxy and never stop. And he’ll find me every time.” 

“Let me stay with you,” his voice cracks.

Tears were threatening the corners of her eyes.

“I will come back Finn, but I won’t let you die.”

And before he can argue again Rey lifts a hand to his cheek and pulls his consciousness away from him, the same way Kylo did to her on Takodona. 

Finn slumps and Rey embraces him. Hopefully they’ll be light years away from her before he wakes. She lays him down and returns to the cockpit. After the revelation about Kylo, Poe is much more willing to cooperate with the plan to leave her on the planet, with the promise that they would return to Leia and come up with a plan to get her back. Hopefully there’s enough time for them to get well clear of the First Order hoard she imagines is on it’s way.

—-

The world is mild and green. Grassy cliffs over look blood red lakes. Tall jagged black rocks jut out of the meadow as the Falcon takes off. Rey covers her eyes as it blasts back off into space.

Assured of her friends’ safety, she now focuses on the task at hand. Facing the fast approaching Supreme Leader Kylo Ren. She can feel his presence growing closer, hotter in her chest. Now she needs to figure out a way to turn his black heart.


	4. "He's here."

"He's here," Rey whispers to herself.

As twilight approaches, a black First Order shuttle, much like Snoke’s personal craft she had once escaped in, shoots over the pink and orange horizon.

It lands in a whirl of dust and smoke on the grassy clearing. Rey pulls over the hood of her coarse brown cloak, covering her face from the debris as the ship settles and hisses. 

A ramp descends and an ominous tall dark figure stands silhouetted against the interior light of the craft. Her heart stutters to see his large frame, adrenaline rushing at the fiery closeness of his dark aura that rolls out before him like a dark cloud.

A black cape billows behind him as he steps down onto the alien world, taking big purposeful strides towards his target.

Rey steels her resolve, determined to meet his blackness with light, knowing it was now or never.

Kylo Ren stops a few yards away from her, his chaotic emotions churning in no certain way. He was still furious, hurt and feeling betrayed. His anger was urging him to lash out, to end his ties to the light once and for all. _It’s what Snoke would have wanted._

Finally sensing his train of thought, Rey braved a response.

“Snoke was a fool,” she offered confidently, “It was the light in you that destroyed him.”

He continued to regard her coldly and quietly.

“Tell me why,” he said low and slow, “I shouldn’t destroy you now and be DONE with it.”

Rey took a few steadying breaths, locking eyes with Ren and trying to hide her own, inexplicable feelings of hurt from his words. _After everything we’ve been through?_

She sighs, then removes a canvas pack from her back. She tosses it between them. A cover falls open, revealing the broken light saber of Luke Skywalker and a set of old tomes.

“Those,” she points, “are the sacred Jedi texts from Luke’s island. I _STOLE_ those books, after I knocked Skywalker on his ass for what he did to you.”

Kylo’s eyes go wide.

“What,” he growled. Instead of speaking she shows him the memory, of Luke disrupting their hand touching session, of her literally beating the truth out of him, of her telling Luke that Ben was their only hope…

“Naïve girl,” he whispers disparagingly, “what do you expect of me now? I’m no one’s savior…”

“TEACH ME!” Rey shouts with all the courage she can muster, willing her feelings to reach through the wall of evil he was building around his heart. For the first time she truly begins to fear that he is outside her grasp, that this could be her doom after all. She suppresses her growing anxiety and continues.

“Prove to me why I should go with you. Show me…”

”Once again, you are in no position to negotiate,” he interrupted. 

“And you have nothing to lose. If you can convince me, I go with you of my own free will to rule by your side or whatever it is you want of me. If not, you can kill me… Seems a fair deal to me.”

Her heartbeat seems to strum in her ears as she waits for his response. He was hiding his thoughts from her.

They stared across the distance at one another… seconds stretch into minutes as Kylo thinks and Rey tries to quell her panic. She is making the biggest gamble of her life.

She really has no intention of becoming co-Supreme Leader, but she is desperately hoping that somewhere along the way - with them working together - IN PERSON - that she can reach him and turn Ben Solo’s heart. The Force had allowed him to find her this night, in this place. She tries to have faith that it was for a reason that wouldn’t end in her death.

The sun sets, their surrounding now only illuminated by the jaundiced glow of a giant yellow crescent moon, hanging over them like the sleepy gaze of an ancient celestial observer. 

They stand, eyes on each other, neither moving. 

Then he lights his blazing saber. His face is dark, his wide stance is ready to strike. 

Rey gasps and tenses. She has no way to defend herself! She has no time to swallow the ball of despair and betrayal in her throat.

Ren charges!

Rey stumbles back!

He’s a few paces away! All is lost!

And then…

The image flashes through her mind. An image of herself ducking down, redirecting his swing with a sweep of her arms, pushing him past her with the force…

SHE GASPS and complies!

She drops, completing the move, a hair’s breath away from death as his unstable blade flies by her face, he slides away from her absorbing the force push.

She stands adrenaline pounding, panting desperately, confused and frightened.

“What,” she starts, but he interrupts.

“You didn’t die. You may be worth teaching after all.”

She scoffs incredulous but swelling with relief, “you showed me that?”

“Hmm, but not so bright,” he deadpans.

Rey doesn’t know whether she wants to kill him or kiss him. Kill him, definitely.

“I don’t have a weapon,” she spits back.

“You won’t always have a weapon, YOU are the weapon,” he says forcefully, and he charges again!

——

The Supreme Leader left explicit instructions that he was not to be monitored or disturbed until he contacted the bridge himself. General Hux, seeing the folly and disadvantage in not having eyes and ears on the troublesome Ren, had taken it upon himself to send a stealthy drone down to the surface.

He works closely with a surveillance officer. The devise has light cloaking technology and flies silent. Ren and that monster of a girl shouldn’t be able to see or hear it… provided they maintain a healthy distance.

An image emerges on a holo-display. Ren’s shuttle in a clearing in high elevation. Flashes of tell-tale red in the distance.

He was in some kind of battle!

Hux feels a thrill of glee, sending a silent prayer for Ren’s death.

He’s busy fantasizing about his own coronation as Supreme Commander of the galaxy…when he notices…

“Not so close you imbecile!”

But it’s too late. Kylo Ren halts his charge on the surface below and flings his hand out of the errant device. He crushes it with his mind and pings the com in his ear. 

_Of course that damn wizard would sense it!_

“Hux,” Ren says simply, dangerously calm.

“Supreme Leader, your safety is paramount to the future of the galaxy. We wanted to ensure…”

“While, I appreciate your concern General,” Ren cuts Hux off, “if I catch any more of your prying eyes interrupting my negotiations, I’ll be more than happy to pry your actual eye balls from your head when I return.” 

The com clicks out and Hux smacks the technician in the head. He demotes him, orders him off the bridge, but it’s not enough.

 _Negotiations?_ Hux thinks. _Isn’t he supposed to be bringing the little wretch to justice? Aren’t we here to kill the dangerous witch who cleaved our precious Snoke in two?_

The explanation for the death of his beloved former-Supreme Leader had never sat well with him. Hux was a very sharp man and he knew something was amiss. Ren being the sole survivor? A girl overpowering Snoke AND the Preatorian guard AND Kylo Ren? It stank of falsehood.

Hux had quietly begun a Top Secret investigation. While the throne room was free of recording devices, the Supreme Leader’s private elevator was equipped with cameras. Cameras that had mysteriously been destroyed and files erased.

But nothing is ever truly destroyed in the realm of technology.

And now would be a great time to check in with his covert data forensic team.

—-

“You know,” Rey calls out to the obviously annoyed Kylo after overhearing his exchange, “we could kill Hux together.” 

A swell of affection fills Ren to the brim and he’s unable to suppress a smile. She can sense, he feels like no sweeter words had ever been spoken in his life. And the sight of his full, real smile is a surprise that makes her heart pound in a way that has nothing to do with his repeated attempts to decapitate her.

“See, there are things we can agree on,” she teased with a smirk.

Kylo bites his lip, repressing that smile that continues to tug at his lips.

“Shut up,” he says obviously amused, and he attacks her again.

There is much to do and little time to do it.

Kylo Ren intends on working Rey all night long. And despite his attempts to kill it, hope is growing in his chest. Hope for what, though, he is not sure. Whatever it is, he’s decided it will be HIS choice, no one will dictate his destiny any more.

 


	5. Again

“AGAIN,” Kylo Ren roars as Rey hauls her body off the grassy floor, spitting blood at her feet.

They have been fighting viciously for hours. No punches pulled, no slices of his ragged saber delivered with anything less than the intent to kill. He would not insult her power by holding back, nor underestimate her ability to deal him a deadly blow, even without a light saber in her hands.

  
They both are long past the point of exhaustion, pulling fully from the force to keep fighting.

  
Rey screams, charging him. Her body bends unnaturally as he hacks at her torso. She drops, springs from her hands, and with a fierce spinning kick finally dislodges the saber from his hands. With a focused blast of the force she sends it flying over a rocky cliff, while her other foot kicks him mercilessly in the face.

  
Ren falls with a gasp of pain flat on his back.

  
Rey uses the last of her strength to straddle the winded Kylo Ren. Balling both her fists together she punches him as hard as her screaming muscles will allow.

  
Ren tries to bat away her blows but his arms are like lead, not effective at stopping her completely.

  
There’s panting and grunting and groaning and the smacks of her punches. With the very last of his will Ren grabs her narrow wrists, and with a mighty thrust of his hips, sends her flying over his head.

  
She lands with a crunch on her back. Now head to head they lie gasping for breath.

  
And Rey finally lets go, slipping out of consciousness as the sun peaks over the horizon.

  
…

  
Pain brings her back to reality.  
Everything hurts and Rey thinks she must be dying. Opening her eyes slowly she tries to assess the damage. Breathing appears to be the most painful.  
Blinking away the harsh sunlight Rey tries to orient herself to her surroundings but her head is swimming. Finally an image takes shape.

  
Kylo Ren is sitting up in the grass overlooking a black, rocky slope. The wind is blowing through his wavy black locks, sunshine gleaming off his sweating muscular shoulders. He’s discarded his torn outer clothing, sitting in a black tank top and ripped leather pants. His expression is peaceful as he turns a page of one of the giant tomes from her pack. He’s reading the ancient Jedi texts.

  
Rey forgets her body, totally taken in by the sight of him.

So beautiful, she thinks a little deliriously. But she can’t help but admit how handsome and vulnerable he is when his face is not twisted in rage, and how comfortable his posture is, almost like they could be friends. Like they could be more than that….

  
He could have slain her in her sleep, but here he is, reading in the morning light by her side, like they’re the only two people in the galaxy. Like there’s no war, no First Order, no death, no hurry, nothing but this.

  
He turns his head slightly over his shoulder but does not meet her eyes.  
“You’re alive,” he says simply, controlling any emotion in his voice.

  
“Mmm” is all the response she can muster, still drinking in the sight of him, relishing in his peaceful closeness after the violence of last night.

  
His ears and the back of his neck start to go red under her intensely appraising gaze. Is it the sun or… she thinks but then he speaks again.

  
“Follow me.”

  
He places the books back in the pack, slings it over his shoulder and rises. A large calloused hand wraps around Rey’s upper arm and pulls her up to standing. She winces and gasps in pain. Hands on her shoulders, Ren steadies her, then lets go. He begins to walk down the hill and Rey limps slowly behind, a hand grasping at her side. She definitely at least has some broken ribs.

  
There’s a strange device in his hands but Rey doesn’t have the strength or the will to question him.

  
They walk on for half an hour, sliding down steep slopes and taking a turn into a more wooded area. Before long they come to an obsidian-like cave. The walls are black, but the deeper they go, the more the rock begins to glow. Bio-luminescent life lights their way.   
They descend deeper. She doesn’t know how long they walk before they come upon the spring.

  
“Here,” he says, pocketing his device that likely led them to the water.

  
Crystal clear water shimmers, allowing you to see clear to the bottom, maybe five feet below. Their cave is illuminated by veins of blue glowing light in the rocks above, and the gentle light of the creepy crawlies that called this place home. It’s one of the most beautiful natural formations she’s ever seen.

  
Rey shuffles to the waters edge and, grimacing, scoops handfuls of refreshing water into her mouth. It’s heavenly on her poor split lips and dry throat.

  
She feels Ren step up beside her and hears a soft thud. She looks up to see that he’s shed his tank top. Her mouth goes slack as his hands unfasten his high waisted pants. Her eyes bulge and her mind catches up with what he’s doing. She gasps and turns her head away just in time as he pulls his pants down, under garments and all.

  
“Ben!?”

  
This man has no shame!

  
She hears the splashing and lapping of water as he lowers himself into the spring. She doesn’t dare look back up until she hears him moving away.  
“What in the name of… you don’t give two bantha ticks do you?”

  
He’s swimming backwards, just his head above water.

  
“There’s no time for something as frivolous as shame. It’s a body. We have more important things to do.”

  
Hmmf, Rey puffs trying to suppress her burning blush. Easy for him to say. She could never stay on an even footing with him, Ben was always throwing her for a loop, especially with that DAMN body of his. His was the most she had seen of any man. Growing up on a back water world with few humanoids, she didn’t really know much about biology, except that she was good at fending off the advances of the few men who had dared tried come on to her with her iron staff.

  
But Ben Solo was something completely different, putting himself on display, disarming her in strange ways. He was her greatest enemy for Kriff’’s sake! And yet, her body had never reacted this way to any one else before, though she didn’t quite understand what it was. Rey tries to clear her confusing, conflicting thoughts and instead focuses on her anger at what a complete asshole he is.

  
She hears a low chuckle from the water.

  
“What,” she spits.

  
“You think too loudly, we’ll have to work on that.”

  
Her blush turns into an inferno on her face, remembering how her singular thoughts earlier had been on how beautiful he was. Had he heard it all??

  
“As amusing as this is,” Kylo says carefully, “I need you to get into the water. Just you.”

  
Oh, he means I need to be naked.

  
Her mind blanks, then races with anxiety. But before she can put words to what’s running wild in her mind, he anticipates her concern.

  
“I may be a monster,” he whispers, “but I’m not THAT kind of monster,” he finishes more forcefully. “Please… get in the water.”

  
For some reason this assuages all her fears. Despite it all, she knows that he is about the only person in existence who has never lied to her. She trusts that there’s a reason behind this madness.

  
She swings her sore legs over the side of the spring. Ben, who is up against the far wall of the spring, maybe 100 feet away, turns his back to her. With a deep, shaking breath she scoots her bottoms off, then pulls her tunic and wrappings over her head. Finally, she unwraps her breast band leaving it on the water’s edge.

Rey slides into the deliciously warm, clear water, softly moaning her content as her wrecked body was momentarily soothed.

  
Something pulses through the force bond making her heart skip a beat, but it’s gone as fast as it came.

  
Ben turns back around and speaks quickly.

  
“We need to heal if we’re going to accomplish anything else. There is a technique, in the texts, that should help us.”

  
“You were able to read it?” She asks across the water to him.

  
He considers this and realizes for the first time that she hasn’t actually been able to decipher any of the writing.

  
“Ahh, I see. You need me so much more than you realize,” he croons.

  
“We’ll see, at the end of this, whether I want what you’re offering… or whether you’ll have to kill me.”

  
His demeanor darkens and he frowns.

  
“Enough. Listen. We’re going to heal each other.”

  
She pauses. “I’m listening.”

  
“Close your eyes and reach out. Feel the life in this cave.” She does as he says, focusing on his impossibly deep voice. “Let your consciousness roll over it all, find yourself and find me. Wrap tendrils around the energy, of everything healthy and growing, down to the tiniest microorganisms. Everything feeds into each other. Harness the life and the light that you see. Now look over me and I’ll look over you. Find every wound, feel every hurt, every bone, every organ, every muscle. Pull the threads into the water, let it be your medium. Fill the water with life, weave it into every hurt…”

  
He speaks like a chant, a gentle constant flow of words that leads her energy around. The gentle glow of the cave grows in brightness. She feels his pain. A broken nose, torn ligaments, bruised intestines. She senses he’s taking a risk by using a light side technique, but he’s desperate. He’s desperate for time, desperate to sway her, desperate for an end to his conflict.

  
And before she realizes what she’s doing, subconsciously she’s pulling the dark wounds from his mind as well as his body. He stops speaking, shaken to the core, feeling her in his head.

  
“Stop,” he whispers. But it’s too late. She’s flying through every memory, feeling every fear, every betrayal, sees every night crying afraid of his own power, not understanding why his parents feared him, fighting the voices in his head, the terror of Luke standing above him, the longing for the light, his pure screaming rage and need, his total consuming darkness, the security he feels in his hate, his righteousness, his regret, his longing, his devastating and consuming… love.

  
Rey gasps and floods him with light, the cave is a riot of brightness like a star suddenly blinked into existence inside. She feels herself almost levitating, enriched and energized in a way she could have never imagined, like every cell was new and brilliant.

  
When the blinding light subsides she stands in the water feeling renewed like a goddess.

  
But then she looks across the way, and sees Ben sinking below the surface.  
She gasps and swims towards him.

  
“Ben!” she cries.

  
He sinks further and dives under the surface, wrapping her arms under his and kicking hard off the bottom of the spring. They break the surface gasping and she hauls him up to the rocky edge, letting Ben cough against the stone, just half his torso out of the water.

  
“Ben, what happened,” she asks, totally forgetting their nudity and focusing her concern on him.

  
He coughs and spits, not looking at her. She reaches a hand up to touch him but he bats her hand away.

  
“STOP”

  
She freezes, then sinks back under the surface wrapping her arms around her chest.

  
Something is different, but she can’t tell what. She only feels his confusion and fear.

  
Ben turns and swims back to the other side of the spring where their clothes lie. He hauls himself out of the water unceremoniously and this time she doesn’t look away, more concerned than embarrassed now. She stores the image of his smooth, toned behind to process later.

  
He dresses quickly and starts trekking out of the cave without a word.

  
Rey swims back to her clothes and after fumbling into them, runs to catch up.

  
She’s not sure what has happened, but knows that it could change the future of the galaxy.  
  



	6. "Where are you going?"

“Where are you going?”

Rey calls out, but she gets no response as Kylo Ren retreats to his personal ship.

Along the way he summons his saber which comes soaring over the cliff it was kicked over. His body is rejuvenated but he’s never felt so weak.

He punches the button to recall the ramp, slamming the door in Rey’s face as she had once done to him.

Outside, a thoroughly confused Rey, huffs, hands on her hips. _What in the world?_

She’s carrying her pack that Ben left behind in the cave.

Rey sits cross-legged before the shuttle and her stomach rumbles. She figures, she may as well take the time to eat and think, pulling rations and water from a compartment in the bag.

Rey can tell that Ben is running away from what happened, _whatever that was,_ fleeing from her like he did when she first breached his mind on star killer base. She gets comfortable. She’ll wait for him to emerge, saying a prayer that he doesn’t just blast off right here and now without her.

…

The day had started well enough for Kylo Ren.

He had awakened first.

A deeply curious and intellectual creature, he had poured through those texts, their pages ancient and delicate. The dialect was difficult to decipher but was similar enough to his teachings at the Jedi academy that he could power through it.

He devoured its contents, surprised that the original intent of the mastery of the force, was more open and complete than what it would become. The emphasis was on the whole… the light and the dark embraced together…

It only reinforced what he already knew to be true. It solidified his stance that the Sith, and the Jedi, and the rebels all needed to die…

Speaking of rebels… he was sure the beautiful but battered quasi-Jedi laying beside him would survive. He could feel her heart beating. That she was not dead was an intense testament to her power. He marveled at her strength, admired the vicious grit she had shown in her defiance of Snoke, in slaying the Praetorian guards, in defying him…

He frowned and looked back at the books.

She didn’t deserve his good will. Not after declining to rule the galaxy with him. After abandoning him, too weak and sentimental to slay him, leaving him in a position of power he never wanted for himself alone…

When she woke he reveled in her delirious and surprisingly loud thoughts. She was too injured to realize she was telegraphing some pretty interesting intel – that he knew she’d never admit to with her full faculties about her.

He let it swell his ego, but he knew they had important things to accomplish if he didn’t want to have to murder her. He chose to ignore it and get them back on track.

He had not anticipated what would happen with the healing technique he learned about… but he was desperate.

Not only had it healed their physical wounds, but it had given her unfettered access to every painful memory that had wounded his soul and poisoned his heart. Before he realized it… she was already inside…then there was the flash of light. He was flooded, left so drained and weak that he nearly drowned. 

Kylo Ren grasps a console with shaking hands. The memories that were once the source of his powerful rage felt dulled… not only that…it felt like a black veil had been pulled back from his eyes. He was suddenly awash with memories – repressed and twisted memories that were now clear – painfully clear, unbearably pure, heart-wretchingly unaltered.

Not only did he recall his parents’ worried whispers, but Han’s piloting lessons, Han ruffling his hair in pride… not only his violent outbursts, but his mother holding him after his tantrums, soothing him, promising to always love him… _IT HURTS TOO MUCH!!_

Everything he had hidden away in little compartments in his mind were raw and wretched open.

What had she done to him? He gasped as rare tears fell from his eyes. He couldn’t do this, he had to focus on something else.

He pings the com in his ear. “Hux!” Comes his high, trembling voice. He schools himself quickly. “Hux, report.”

If he hadn’t been so distracted, he would have noticed Hux’s nervous reply,  “Supreme leader, a moment, yes, Supreme Leader, how may I serve you?”

“Give me a full report. What requires my attention?”

Hux dives into their latest movements in a number of military pushes, most systems are turning themselves over while others have put up a fight. Hux sends action reports to Ren’s data pad. The Attendants want to talk about the next phase of their domination plans. Repairs on the Supremacy and all its on board industries are on schedule…

“And the rebellion?”

“An insignificant rabble who all systems are refusing to aid. Latest intelligence is that they’ve made contact with Bespin. The system is being monitored. If they arrive, they’ll be destroyed”

There’s a strange pang in Kylo’s chest.

Hux adds gingerly, “Is there progress in your… negotiations?” 

Before he can think up a response, Ren simply ends the transmission. Time was running out, he was sure the cunning Hux was using this unsupervised time to some devilish end… he needed to return and command with authority…but he was feeling anything but powerful right now.

—-

Hux breathes a sigh of relief. 

Behind him stands a collection of fellow generals - including a dozen in holo-displays. They have just finished watching the records from the elevator. The tender whispers between their Supreme Leader and the wretched scavenger Rey had elicited some satisfying gasps from the gathered military leaders. And not only that!

Some very interesting news was gleamed from Snoke’s personal records.

Kylo Ren, Master of the Knights of Ren and Supreme Leader of the First Order… had one other very surprising secret title.

Ben…Solo… son of Rebellion General Leia Organa. The same Leia who had escaped thanks to her son’s supposed incompetence on Crait… or was he actually protecting them?

The generals are convinced and have signed off on a plan to end this unnatural reign in the most palatable, marketable way possible. A triumphant cruel grin plays across Hux’s thin lips.

“Thank you kind gentlemen for your courage and action in this most grave matter. We’ll move the destroyers away. Bring in the black-ops with the weapon.”

—

On board his shuttle, Kylo Ren has emerged from his refresher, donning a clean black tunic, his arm bands and a new, non-tattered pair of leather pants. The scalding hot water has done little to clear his head.

He’s moving out into the small sitting area when he hears it…

Mechanical breathing somewhere behind him.

He spins around but it’s gone.

Then it’s there again…and the faint cry of _Anakin._

Ren spins again, “Who’s there?”

In the corner of his eye he sees a blue haze…a wizened old man in Jedi robes stands before him with an ethereal glow around him.

Kylo takes a step back, his eyes wide in shock. His mind races but he knows what this must be. He’s heard enough of Luke’s stories to know that this has to be a force ghost.

“Who are you?”

“An old friend of your grandfather. And your name sake, apparently,” the old man says warmly with a smile.

“Kenobi…” Ben whispers.

“Yes, we’ve been trying to reach you Ben. But it wasn’t until young Rey purged the darkest blockages in your soul, that we were able to get through.”

“What do you want dead Jedi?”

This brings an ethereal chuckle from Obi-wan.

“You’re a stubborn boy. Yet clever. Full of fearsome vengeance, yet that hero’s heart inside of you refuses to die. The force rages in you heir of Skywalker. I’m here to help.”

Ben scoffs, absorbing what he’s hearing but keeping his emotions even.

“I have no need for the dried up wisdom of a dead hypocrite. Thanks to me, you’ll all be ghosts soon.”

Obi-wan considers this and seemingly takes a seat on a black bench.

“Hmm,” he says rubbing his beard, “is that why you were performing a rebirth ritual with a very naked Jedi lady friend just a short time ago.”

Ben sputters angrily…”What?”

“Well the technique is also called rebirth, but then, you knew that. Just pretended you didn’t quite read that part correctly, isn’t that right?”

Ben can’t respond. His mind goes blank.

“There is little time Ben, but there is something you need to know. There is a force you possess that both the Jedi and the Sith tried to suppress, it is this power that brings balance to the force, time and time again in it’s own messy way. You and young Rey have the power to make all things right, and teach a new generation of Jedi about this path. A new… order if you will. Does that sound about right?”

“Spit it out old man, say your piece and be gone!” Ben shouts..

Obi-wan shows him instead. Ben is suddenly catapulted into a memory.

A young man, tall, dark and handsome like himself stands before a beautiful and heavily pregnant woman on a platform above a volcanic planet. He watches the scene play out.

“…I won’t lose you like I lost my mother…”

“…Anakin, all I want is your love…”

“…I’m becoming more powerful than any Jedi has ever dreamed and I’m doing it for you, to protect you…”

“…come away with me, leave this all behind…”

“…together you and I can rule the galaxy, make things the way we want them to be…”

“…Anakin you’re breaking my heart…”

Then another person emerges, accusations are made, he’s strangling the young wife he had just sworn to protect, dropping her and their unborn children to the metal floor.

Ben finds himself kneeling, gasping at the scene before him. Then it’s gone.

“Anakin’s fear of losing Padme twisted his heart, seduced him to seek power, until his love no longer mattered anymore, and he gave himself over to the Sith.”

“You’re mother and uncle were born but their mother died, just as Anakin had foreseen. Only, it was by his own hand.”

“Why are you showing me this?” Ben demands.

“So, you can understand. Love destroyed the Jedi order, it also destroyed the empire when Darth Vader chose to save his son and kill the Emperor. Both the Jedi and the Sith rejected the sentiment, but it’s power is far greater than either order can contain.”

Ben was feeling sick.

“Why isn’t my grandfather here?” He demands, changing the subject.

“He is… in a way. Certain energies, tools of the force, tend to return to the physical world when it is thrown off balance. But it’s so difficult as flesh and blood, so easy to get lost…”

“What are you saying?!”

“Rey *IS* Anakin. Anakin *is* Rey, and you need to help her.”

Stunned silence follows. Ben hears nothing but his beating heart.

“This is a joke…”

“Yoda isn’t here, so, sadly, no.”

More silence as Kylo tries to grasp the absurd things that are being said.

“You tried to help her then too “ … Ben is shown a vision of Padme, pleading for Anakin to open up to her, “This time, the force has made you equals.”

“I will not listen to Jedi lies.”

“Think on it young one. For now, you have to hurry, there’s not much time, you must flee…”

“Why?”

“Above the planet, reach out and see what your general is doing. You must act quickly and decisively, it comes down to you now, Ben.”

Then a wisp of something floats between them. Ben thinks he sees A scoundrel’s smile, smells a musty scent, feels the pressure of a hand on his shoulder.

Han’s voice, “I’m here son.”

Tears he doesn’t realize are streaming down his face. Ben reaches out with his feelings and indeed, they are about to befall a major “accident” at the hands of Hux. They must escape… TOGETHER… NOW!

The ghosts vanish.

He lights his saber and hacks at a console beside him, this time with purpose.

—

Rey jumps as the ramp opens.

She stands and brushes off her pants, only to feel herself flying towards the shuttle. She’s too caught off guard to react. She soars up, landing with a thud against Ben’s rock hard chest. He secures her with a large arm around her waist, as he chucks broken electronics down below with the force.

“We have to go.”

“Ben!?”

And she’s being slung over his shoulder. He uses the force to hit the button to lift the ramp and jogs with a highly confused would-be jedi to the cockpit, “What the hell… Ben, what’s going on??“ She kicks and reaches down, pinching him hard on the ass!

“OW! CRAZY WOMAN!”

“Put me down!”

He dumps her into a co-pilots chair and begins a launch sequence.

“For the love of… what the kriff is going on Ben Solo? Where are you taking me? Do I have to kill you? Is this another kidnapping?”

“Shut up and prime the hyperdrive or we’re going to die.”

Wide-eyed she looks at him just a moment before deciding this is a real threat. She starts throwing switches as he lifts off… and that’s when she’s sees it… a blinding red streak of energy heading for their location.

“Force help us.”

“Good idea,” Ben says as he punches the thrusters.

Fire and chunks of earth rattle their shuttle, flames licking over their viewport. They’re just about to be overwhelmed when he sends them into lightspeed. They don’t appear as so much as a blip on the First Order scanners.

—-

A sweating, nervous Hux stands over his officers, “Did we get them?”

“No life forms detected sir. The shuttle’s beacon is at the center of the blast. There’s no way they could have gotten off world. Targets eliminated sir!”

“Yes!” Hux pulls in his fists allowing himself a triumphant display that is certainly below his station.

He straightens his uniform and walks back off the bridge, where the Attendants are waiting with a golden cloak. They throw it over his narrow shoulders.

—-

They’re spinning through space.

Blue and white lights streak past them. They stare at each other panting for a long time.

She’s the first to break the spell.

“Why did they try to kill us?”

“A coup. Looks like you’ll get the chance to help me kill Hux afterall.”

He seems to be taking being unseated as Supreme Leader rather well.

“Won’t they track us?”

“I dumped the tracker and comms. They should think we’re dead.“ 

“Just like that? How can they do this to their own leader… How did you know it was coming?”

This he doesn’t answer, shielding his mind from hers.

There was his trusty anger building again. He relished it after feeling so drained by the events of the spring. It was all her fault, he hadn’t agreed to help her yet, hadn’t decided if he’d keep her alive, those damn ghosts couldn’t control his destiny. But he supposed he was alive because of them… they were alive… for now.

Like it or not, if he wanted his position of power back, he was going to need Rey’s help and this time, he would ensure that she’d never leave his side again.

He knows where they need to start.

“You’ll need a new saber…”

“What?”

“If we’re going to bring the First Order down.”


	7. "You don't mean that"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I won’t be able to update for a little while so please enjoy this short chapter.

“You don’t mean that.”

Rey responds.

She stares at former Supreme Leader Kylo Ren for a long time. Even if he did want his revenge on General Hux, she found it hard to believe that suddenly he would want to destroy the entire First Order along with him.

Ren doesn’t answer.

“We should contact the resistance, they can help…”

“NO!” he barks his reply. “Don’t get any delusions. I’m never rejoining the resistance, and if they appear before me I’ll slaughter them just the same.”

Now she’s getting annoyed.

“So, you expect just the two of us to take on the entire First Order, without a plan and without backup?”

There’s a long pause and then he breathes, “We’re strong enough…”

A vision of Snoke’s throne room flashes between them.

She lets out an exasperated sigh and sits back in the seat. Rey rubs her face with her hands. She’s glad he thinks so highly of her strength but that’s not the point.

“You were on the inside then. You brought me into that throne room. We’re outsiders now. How can we get back in to do enough damage?”

“I have my ways,” he says mysteriously with a look that amounts to a pout.

Rey twists her lips to keep herself from smiling.

She imagines Leia may have laughed if the stakes were not so grave. From the few stories Leia had told her about Han, his motis operandi was leaping before he looked, and never wanting to know the odds.

She won’t push the matter now, but she knows they can’t do this alone. Rey changes the subject instead.

“Where are we going?”

“A very special place…”

“Oh?” This peaks her interest but he says nothing further.

Still sitting back in her chair, she observes him punching in some new coordinates. If you had told her 3 standard days ago that she would be flying through the galaxy with a deposed Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, ALONE, on a mission to rebuild her lightsaber and bring down the First Order (after having seen him naked I might add), she would have told you to get your head checked at the medical unit immediately. And yet here they were, sitting side by side, allies by necessity.

He was focused on his calculations. Was it supposed to be this comfortable between them? Their banter? Their proximity? Why was being his friend and ally so much easier than being his enemy?

After a while Ben retreats to the small sitting and kitchenette area of the personal shuttle. Rey’s incessant staring is starting to bother him. All of this happened so quickly, he hasn’t had a moment to process it.

He was no longer Supreme Leader of the First Order…_temporarily…_he told himself. But, it didn’t eat at him the way he imagined it would. He felt FREE truth be told. Free to explore the mysteries that were currently burning inside him.

He thought about what the Jedi ghost had told him. He doesn’t believe that Rey and himself are reincarnations of his grandparents, not for a moment. The Jedi often spoke in riddles, but there was an obvious objective they wanted to accomplish here. He’d be damned if he was going to be used by some dead hypocrites. But still… there was something he wanted to check first…

He’s deep in thought as he pulls out food stuffs and starts preparing a meal. _There was that feeling of familiarity when we first met… that fleeting sense that we knew each other well during the interrogation…_

He frowned as he set meat to sizzle on a small skillet, with vegetables. Other items were being reheated. Cooking was among his secret skills and past times, along with calligraphy. It soothed him, and he made sure that his personal shuttle was well stocked with fresh foods, a perk of being Supreme Leader.

Rey is lured in by the scent like an animal stalking prey.

Her eyes are wide and her mouth is drooling. She’d never smelled anything so wonderful in her life…

“Ben, what is that?”

“Food…” 

“No, but why does it look like that?” 

He is not following her questions.

“Is it reconstituted? rehydrated? What kind of rations are those?”

Ahh, it dons on him that she’s never seen real food in her entire life, and it elicits an odd sensation in his chest.

“This is real food Rey. Meat, beans grown from a plant. No rations.”

Her eyes are alight like a child in wonderland. 

“This is not for you.” He says cruelly.

The speed with which her face drops into despair and pleading puppy-dog eyes draws a chuckle he just can’t stop.

He covers his mouth trying to hide his amusement.

“But…” she says.

Before she can argue further he slides all the food onto a plate in front of her. He pulls large, fluffy biscuits from a re-heater and water from a dispenser, placing them before her as well.

Her heart swells in disbelief! He was feeding her! Real, amazing, incredible food!! Genuine affection rises in her chest.

Then she’s tearing through it with her hands like an animal and Ben turns away a bit disturbed but still highly amused. He sets to work on making another plate for himself.

If he had known food was all it took to sway her heart, he would have had a buffet set up behind him in that throne room…she never would have denied him then.

—

They sit quietly eating on the shuttle. Anyone else in the galaxy who saw it would think it bizarre sight. The Supreme Leader & Jedi Killer, having a comfortable quiet dinner with the Last Jedi. The force hums it’s contentment, and a sense of peace subconsciously falls over them.

Rey smiles at a particularly delicious bite, and Ben’s heart twangs strangely when… an alarm starts to sound.

Ben heads for a console.

“What is it?” Rey asks.

“A Holonet alert.”

They look at each other knowingly, as he hits the button activating the Holonet feed. A blaring alert, with flashy graphics and grave music, plays over them. A two headed announcer speaks. “Stunning news for galactic citizens worlds over. The young charismatic Supreme Leader of the First Order has been killed. According to the Order he died bringing the Jedi assassin who slew Supreme Leader Snoke to justice. Both Leader Kylo Ren and the Jedi scavenger Rey are said to have died in a battle on Gallanco, an unpopulated world in the outer rim.”

”In his place rises Supreme Commander Armitage Hux who had this to say, ‘Leader Ren sacrificed his life to bring an end to the Jedi and their violent ways. No longer will ancient religions and sorcery dictate the future of the Galaxy. Military strength will bring peace and order to all – No system will stand in our way.” You heard it there, another leader rises to head the galactic power that is the First Order. Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, and Jedi fugitive Rey of Jakku, both killed in a battle on the outer rim.”

Ben switches it off.

There’s a long silence before Rey says, “Did everyone think you were charismatic?”

He shoots her a dirty look and she smirks. If he can toy with her then she can toy with him.

“I look forward to the shocked faces when I return and reclaim my place…” 

“I’m not going to help you reclaim your place,” Rey says firmly.

Deathly stares. There it was again. Had they forgotten so easily that they were enemies? Their objectives remained as polar opposite as possible, only agreeing that each wanted the other on their side. She can see the frustration in his eyes.

“I’ve said it before, I’ll fight for YOU Ben. Not for the First Order or the dark side. Just YOU! You are not those things… you’re so much more…”

“Get some rest,” he cuts her off, tearing his eyes away. “We arrive in 10 standard hours.” He disappears into his sleeping cabin.

—-

The news reaches the rebel base and Finn falls to his knees. It can’t be true. He knows it’s not…but that _is_ the planet they left her on, smoldering in ruins in the holo-net report.

They were in the middle of preparing a rescue mission when… this.

He feels a firm hand on his shoulder.

“They’re not dead,” Leia says and Finn scrambles to his feet.

“How do you know?”

She closes her eyes, “I would have felt it. If anything happened to either of them it would have torn through the force.”

She looks at him with twinkling eyes again, “They’re alive Finn.”

“Then we need to find them… well her, we need to find her. Oh God what if they’re together? What if he’s kidnapped her and is torturing her?”

Leia raises an eyebrow.

“Something tells me it’s likely the other way around.”


	8. What are you doing?

Rey jumps slightly as the door slams. She frowns. How will they ever find the common ground they need to find? How will she save her friends AND Ben Solo?

She looks around the kitchenette/common area. Tiny droids start to clean up their mess. She’s impressed by the luxury of it all.

There’s a table and black cushioned benches around the circular room. One door leads to the cockpit. Another to Ben’s private quarters. Next to that appears to be a refresher room, and then a small hallway that should lead to some crew quarters. To the left of that, what she imagines are the engine room and other equipment compartments. And finally the short corridor to the ramp.

She explores the crew hallway.

Rey finds a closet sized room with cots stacked four high. This craft was designed to operate with a small, to non-existent staff.

She collapses into the bottom cot, sliding her bag beneath her and taking out the broken pieces of Luke’s lightsaber. The shattered shards, so much like her and Ben. She has no idea if they can ever be brought back together again…

\----

Sleep is impossible for Kylo Ren, or is he Ben Solo? He doesn’t even know anymore. If his mask was a childish disguise… what does that mean for his name? A name that instilled fear worlds over. What did it mean now that everyone thought him dead? Should he reclaim his place, or build something new for himself…

NO, he had sacrificed too much for it to end like this. As Supreme Leader he would finally put an end to this damned conflict, a war to end all wars. Peace through strength and control… no more families like his… no more lies…

But then, Ben wasn’t sure what was lie and what truth was anymore. He gripped his head as he lay on a queen sized bed (an upgrade he made sure to demand), black sheets twist around his legs. The memories flood him again. Once tainted and hidden… now bright and pure and heart wrenching… and… had that really been Han Solo he heard whisper in his ear…

Shouting a grunt he kicks away the sheets and flings open the door.

All is quiet. Too quiet. Painfully quiet. He’s alone with his mind, his memories and his crimes.

Ben flees to the cockpit, trying to focus on the instruments.

What would he do if he was back on the Supremacy right now? If he hadn’t followed this damned girl across the galaxy. If he hadn’t felt that urgent tug of the force in his chest…

Perhaps this was a very round-about machination of the force… perhaps this was how he would convince Rey to join his side and rule with him like she was meant to do.

Most beings were not intelligent enough to govern themselves, they needed the First Order, but not with that sniveling sycophant Hux at the reigns. That weak wretch. He savored all the ways he could kill him painfully and slowly.

It was with these fantasies in mind that he finally drifted off into a fitful sleep, in the captain’s chair of his cockpit, the universe flying over him.

\----

That’s how Rey finds him hours later.

She had woken with a jolt. It took some time to realize where she was and what was happening.

 _I’m on board a luxury shuttle with Kylo Ren,_ she tells herself. _We escaped a coup attempt. We’re flying across the galaxy to repair my lightsaber and bring down the first order... Well…  he may actually be using me to reclaim his throne…. But I won’t make the same mistake twice._

She would save Ben Solo or kill them both trying.

Rey sighs darkly, her stomach dropping. She rolls out of the cot, knowing she’s unlikely to fall back to sleep with the anxiety filling her. She starts digging through some compartments looking for clothes. Her current attire is torn, burnt and filthy.

She finds some underclothes, thick black leggings and a black, long sleeve shirt. They’ll have to do for now.

In the refresher she tries to clear her head, relishing the feel of warm mist on her skin. But the lack of a clear plan leaves her with a cold dread inside that the warm water can’t reach.

Donning her temporary attire and toweling her hair, Rey walks back into the common area when she notices the cockpit compartment is slid open.

Walking towards it, she sees the top of that head.

A jet black mop of curls dangle over the headrest. His breathing is slow and steady. She peaks around him to steal a look at his sleeping face. He looks so much more peaceful that the last time she’d seen him like this, unconscious in the ruins of Snoke’s throne room, covered in debris and blood. He’s back in his black tank top and softer looking pants... _Is that real silk??_

Looking back up, her fingers inch towards those raven locks. _Looks so soft…_

But she catches herself.

The last time she had to stop herself from killing him. Now she has to stop herself from… she doesn’t know what she’s trying to do.

Rey sighs and slumps into the co-pilot seat beside him. What a strange turn of fate…

Rey closes her eyes and loses herself in thought…about everything that’s happened…about the people she misses… her friends. She recounts the memories she’s made with her group of rebels in the last few months… picturing every smile in her mind… feeling more love in that short time than she’d experienced her entire life. They banished her loneliness… but only one person had ever really told her she wasn’t alone… they made her feel important… but only one person had told her she wasn’t nothing, and offered her everything. And the last smile she remembers… is Ben’s… on the planet when she told him they’d kill Hux together… and with that image she drifts off to sleep beside him in the cockpit.

\----

Beep, beep, beep, beep.

A low alarm sounds and Ben is jolted awake. He stands and hits a button. They’re about to drop out of light speed. Had he slept that long?

He lifts an arm to massage a kink in his neck when he turns and sees a figure in the seat beside him.

Ben startles and stumbles back, knocking over a hydro spanner, making a ruckus.

Rey wakes a little and rubs her eyes, moaning her annoyance at the noise.

“What are you doing?” comes his low angry voice.

Her eyes fly open mid-stretch and she jumps to her feet.

_Shit!_

“I… I fell asleep.”

His mind races. She must have walked in here, seen him asleep in the chair and decided to stay? Should he be Angry? He can’t decide what he feels except shock.

“Don’t do that,” he says darkly.

Her eyes are wide as she fumbles for something to say.

“I didn’t… I mean…”

She feels fear and hurt rolling off of him again, bubbling up from someplace deep.

“If you don’t want me, If you won’t stand with me, then don’t pretend like you do, don’t pretend like you will,” he practically growls. 

Rey winces and it’s like a blow to her chest.

There are those truly terrifying swirl of emotions again, both from him and from herself, the ones she doesn’t want to acknowledge. She won’t help him reclaim his place of evil, but that doesn’t means she doesn’t want....

The craft lurches, they stumble as their ship drops out of light speed.

Ben grabs the console, steadying himself. He turns his attention to the readouts. They’re right where they need to be.

“Mustafar,” he whispers, turning to the task at hand. 

Rey looks out at a seemingly black world.

“What is this place?”

Ben shoots her an angry, childish look as he straps himself into the captains chair. She follows suit, buckling in. When he doesn’t answer, Rey feels her anger rising as well.

“I’m here aren’t I?” she practically yells and he looks at her. “If I didn’t want to be, I would have stabbed you in your sleep. You’re not the only one who got hurt so get over yourself.”

He raises his eyebrows a touch and looks at her thoughtfully. This only annoys her more.

“Now tell me where the fuck we are,” Rey could swear with the best of them if she had to, she was no wilting flower, and she wasn’t going to put up with his phony victim bullshit.

His eyebrows go higher. Before he makes a “tch” sound and looks back ahead.

“This is the world Darth Vader made into his home.”

She gasps softly.

Soon they’re flying over a volcanic world, a landscape of molten lava as far as the eye can see. But in the midst of the seemingly endless desolation, a mountain like structure appears over the horizon, only it’s not a mountain. Rey is amazed to see that it’s actually a castle, jutting high into the sky.

They land on a metal grated landing pad.

 _This is the exact spot from Kenobi’s vision._ Ben thinks.

They look out at the castle anxiously before Ben rises. He disappears into his quarters and reemerges with thin, cool black pants. He still dons just a tank top. 

“Grab a pack,” he says. Rey obeys, emptying her pack and slingling it over her shoulder. He has a pack also. 

They’re down the hallway, getting ready to lower the ramp when Ben looks down at Rey.

“What are you wearing?” he asks.

She looks down at herself, “My clothes were ruined,” she says matter-of-factly, “this was all I could find on board.” 

Without another thought, Ben puts a hand on each of her shoulders... and RIPS the sleeves off her shirt.

“HEY!” She screams. Rey tries pushing him off but he wont let go until the sleeves are fully torn away. Then he rips a line down from the collar for good measure.

She finally force pushes him back into the wall.

“What in the holy living Kriff do you think you’re doing!?”

Ben stands and dusts himself off, hitting the ramp button like nothing happened at all.

“It’s too hot for that,” he says impassive. “You’re welcome.”

She just cannot respond for a moment. Now she’s wearing something closer to a tank top like him. Her breast band peaking through the low ripped holes from the sleeves.

“You’re welcome?” she fumes, “Do you normally run around ripping women’s clothes off?”

He turns to her sharply, “The only pervert on this shuttle, is you.” He points at Rey’s face and she’s left sputtering.

“Me... what... how... how dare...”

Ben leans into her, stopping just short of her face.

“You’re the one creeping around at night, spying on men when they sleep,” he says in that soft deep voice of his. “Try to control yourself, alright?”

Ben smiles a smarmy smile that reminds her of Han Solo, and struts away down the ramp, leaving the thoroughly flustered and angry young would-be jedi in the doorway.

He relishes the sound of her mumbling and cursing behind him. 

She think she's so going to get him for this.


	9. "Stupid buckethead"

“Stupid buckethead…” Rey mumbles, “…brain full of bantha poodoo.”

Ben is pulled away from his enjoyment of Rey’s discomfort as he walks up to the exact place where Kenobi’s vision had taken place. He sees the triangular stone and metal slabs where padme lay after being dropped to the ground.

This is the second time he’s visited the castle, but it feels like he’s truly seeing everything for the first time.

Here, Snoke had presented Kylo with the helmet of Darth Vader, and it showed him visions of absolute power and strength. Now he wonders, what life would have been like if Vader had chosen his family instead…if he had protected them the way he was trying to…which was the true power… which was the weakness?

Rey nearly collides into his back.

She dodges and sees Ben deep in thought. Frowning she leaves him be and takes time to look around. A long, narrow grated platform extends from the landing pad to the towering black metal behemoth of a castle beyond. It is perfectly symmetrical, tall and imposing. A fitting fortress of darkness she thinks. Rey feels heaviness pull at her chest that has nothing to do with the intense waves of heat emanating up from below them.

Something about it is almost, familiar?

That can’t be right. But then again, it wouldn’t be the first time she’s known a place before she’s actually been there.

“Come,” he says finally.

They walk the long bridge in silence. Ben has become stoic and Rey can only imagine what is going through his head. She senses he’s been here before. The closer they come to the castle, the tighter her chest seems to feel.

For the first time it really hits her that she’s walking beside the grandson of Darth Vader, a legendary evil and the most hated man in the galaxy. Vader, the father of Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia, yet more mythical and historically epic galactic figures. And here she was with Ben, who became Supreme Leader of the First Order while chasing his grandfather’s shadow.

She watches his hunched shoulders as he lumbers briskly before her, his long legs carrying him swiftly across the platform as she practically jogs to keep up.

For the first time she really feels the burden that tremendous mixed legacy must have been on Ben’s shoulders. She remembers what she saw in his mind, a young boy frightened of his own powers, isolated as his parents led a galactic resistance, the whispers of dark voices in his head…

Her thoughts are interrupted as they walk through the cavernous entrance to the castle. Inside are more ramps over lava flows. In the center of a wide-open room is a giant circular bacta tank, the equipment lining the walls make it clear this is a large medical chamber.

Rey steps forward, then gasps in pain.

She shutters and kneels at the sudden feeling.

Ben halts and turns to look at her.

 _What was that?_ She thinks frightened. It felt almost as if her skin were on fire. As suddenly as it came, the feeling was gone. Except, now her limbs seemed to ache.

Sensing Ben’s stare, she stands quickly and walks on. “It’s nothing,” she says.

Ben narrows his eyes at her. _THIS_ is exactly why he actually brought her here. To see her reaction to this place, maybe find some undiscovered relics, wisdom or history to help light his way, but mostly, to test the truth of what the Jedi ghost had told him.

Beyond the chamber they find a wide meditation platform hanging over the edge of an onyx cliff, looking over a flow of lava that cascades down a mountain face below the castle.

Back inside they ascend a spiral metal staircase. At the top it opens to a wide personal study and what appears to be a sleeping chamber. The half-moon room has one wall of rock, the rest was open to the molten world outside. Just a floor and a ceiling and the yawning horizon.  

Ben begins rummaging through the room but Rey halts. A curious feeling falls upon her, like waves of familiarity that come and go.

“I’ve seen this place…” she whispers mostly to herself.

Ben’s eyes snap up to her. He watches with rapt attention but Rey is distracted by her exploration. She runs her fingers along the rock face, over compartments, book shelves and com units until she happens upon a small item. A little square carved trinket embedded in a sharp edge of rock. _It’s a japor snippet_ , she thinks, though she doesn’t really know what that means.

Rey runs her fingers over it, tracing the lines, once, twice, again, and the room starts to rumble!

A section of wall slides open, startling them both.

Inside is another stair case.

“Have you seen this before?” Rey asks nervously.

Ben shakes his head. It appears to be a secret passage…and she has found it. _Could the ghost of Kenobi have been telling the truth?_

Ben takes the lead, walking up the steps with Rey following behind. It goes on and on until she is certain they are nearing the pinnacle of the awesome spire they saw from outside.

It opens to a warmly lit room.

Sunlight pours in through a sumptuous stain glass window. It depicts a beautiful young woman. The light streaming in from the panes, fall upon a large white stone tomb. This is a crypt, someone of great importance to Vader. In a corner is a stuffed mannequin draped in the most gorgeous gown Rey has ever seen. All white lace and a lace head dressing, fine detail, something fit for a queen.

She fingers the fabric and a deep sadness falls upon her heart. Rey looks up at the woman in the glass window

“So beautiful,” she says.

“My grandmother,” he says, looking up at the window as well. _Surely this wasn’t me?_ he thinks.

She looks again at Ben, child of legends and bearer of a crippling legacy.

The room is a shrine.

“He must have really loved her.”

“He killed her.”

She’s silent, tension filling the air as she stares at Ben.

He goes on without meeting her eye. “He strangled her while she was pregnant. She died in childbirth shortly after. He chose the power of the darkside over his family.”

“He obviously regretted that decision for the rest of his life…”

Ben looks at her a moment and considers that. Then looks back at the elaborate shrine to the love of Vader’s life. Queen and Senator, a strong beautiful woman, beloved worlds over. _Regret?_ Ben thinks he knows that feeling. The instant he struck his father, he expected an infusion of strength and darkness, instead he felt weakness and pain. _It was a worthless sacrifice… an unnecessary loss…_

While Ben is lost in thought, Rey walks over to the elaborately carved stone tomb.

She lays a hand upon Padme’s grave, and collapses to the floor.

“Rey!” Ben calls and he’s by her side.

Visions and emotions overwhelm her.

Gasping for breath Rey grips Ben shirt with both of her hands.

“She was alive, I felt it…”

“What? What are you saying…”

“I can’t lose you, I won’t let it happen again,” tears are streaking down her face as Rey struggles with thoughts and feelings that are at the same time real and familiar and not.

“You’re not making sense,” Ben says gripping her shoulders.

She meets his eyes and she looks wild and scared.

“I’ll save you Ben, I’ll become more powerful if I have to. I won’t let you die! I’ll save you!”

His stomach drops hearing the words of the vision spoken back to him. Something is happening and Ben knows he has to get her out of this room.

He scoops her up in his arms like he once did in the forest on Takodana. Only this time she clings to his neck, her face buried in his chest as she rambles about saving him and not losing him.

He descends down the stair case, back below the sleep chambers, and takes her out to the meditation platform.

He deposits her on the ground and she instantly feels better.

Breathing easier, she’s now hit with a new emotion.

Embarrassment and shame.

What was she saying to him? She was spilling her guts, confessing her desperation to save him like a lover. How did she allow herself to be overwhelmed like that? Whose emotions were they truly?

“Tell me what you saw,” he says evenly, his eyes boring into her.

He can sense her embarrassment, but he needs her to focus. He had to know the truth, had she really channeled the spirit of Anakin? Did she experience memories that were from a previous life, or merely a trick of the force?

Rey shakes her head. She’s still shaken.

Ben sits cross legged before her in a meditative pose.

“Show me. Open your mind, let me see.”

Schooling her ragged breath, Rey closes her eyes. She doesn’t want to feel that again but…

She takes a deep, steadying breath and relaxes her mind. She feels Ben there, entering her consciousness gently, so unlike his previous intrusions.

Another breath and she tries to focus on what she saw. What she felt…

It hits her again.

She can’t breathe as the intensity of fear and pain, terror, despair and loss flood her, but this time Ben is there beside her, sharing the burden.

It feels so real, so raw.

Vader’s desperation to save his family. Not just his wife, but his mother too. If only he was more powerful, if only he was stronger, he could halt death itself! But instead of halting death, he only harkened it. He damned his love and the lives of millions. Then there’s another feeling like a drumbeat in her soul. Never again, never let it happen again. Don’t lose them. Don’t lose your family, don’t lose your friends, don’t lose Ben! They all blur together in a continuum. 

Rey gasps and Ben flees her mind.

They look at each other for a long time, breathing hard.

“What does it mean,” Rey whispers, frightened.

“Part of your soul…” he pauses, “is connected to that past.”

Rey’s eyes are wide with terror and tears.

“No.”

He doesn’t answer.

“I want no part of this,” and she’s on her feet.

“Don’t run away…”

“IT’S NOT MY PAST!” she screams and sobs.

A rare tear escapes Ben as he feels her fear. He stands too.

”You told me to let the past die, but you’re the one who’s holding on!” Rey cries, “All of this, it’s not you and it’s not me!”

Ben measures his next words. 

“You have a chance to create peace across the galaxy with me. To finish what was started…”

“What he started was a FAMILY!”

Ben blinks taken aback.

Rey goes on, “You have to walk your own path, not what Vader wanted, or your parents, or Luke, or Snoke. What does Ben Solo want? I’ll bet my life it’s not to be Supreme Leader…”

“I can’t go back… I sacrificed too much,” he admits barely above a whisper.

 _“You_ sacrificed too much?” She stops and tries very hard to keep her voice even, “Han gave his life to break you free of the First Order. He promised Leia…” she stops herself again, “He died to save you, not so you could be some dark overlord. You walked that path, had all the power you could want but you were still miserable.”

Another tear escapes Ben.

“Killing everyone doesn’t make it go away. Vader learned that and so did you.” 

His breathing grows ragged as Rey finds her voice.

“Han’s sacrifice was not in vain. Free yourself Ben. There has to be another way for us…”

He remembers his father’s hand on his face as he falls, falls, falls and Ben can’t listen anymore… he flees the castle returning to the shuttle.

—

Rey stays sitting for a long time.

It’s impossible to process what’s happened here but she’ll be damned if she lets it change who she is.

She’s no Vader. Neither is he.

Finally Rey stands and sets herself to do one of the things she does know: scavenging. She tears open control panels, bagging components she thinks will be helpful for repairing her light saber. She finds some piping that will make for an excellent new staff. She rips the fabric off the few austere furnishings, and fashions a makeshift net out of some other material.  Hours later she returns to the shuttle, hauling her loot along with her.

When she finally drags it all up the ramp, dirtying the pristine luxury shuttle as she goes, she finds Ben waiting for her. He stand straight, face unreadable and she can tell he’s blocking his mind from hers.

He quirks an eyebrow at what she’s brought.

“Good stuff. Electronics, tubs of bacta. We can use it.”

He thinks she’s like a cat bringing a dead mouse back to it’s master.

There’s an awkward silence.

He breaks it.

“We’ll repair your saber then plot our next move. We will destroy Hux, together.”

 _Together._ The word hangs in the air. She thinks it sounds good in his low voice.

Rey nods and feels a strumming of the force, like music.

—

They shared a meal in silence. Ben then plotted coordinates for their next destination while Rey cleaned and sorted her findings.

She supposes he did all the thinking he needed to.

The journey to the Kyber crystal planet would take three standard days and in that time Ben announced he would read the Jedi texts with her.

As they take off, Rey thinks she’s never been so happy to leave a planet before and she’s including Jakku.

—

Hours into a fitful sleep cycle, Rey feels her heart twist in despair. She is awoken, jumping in fear at the sensation. _What in the world?_

It’s Ben and he’s a riot of emotions.

Rey leaps from her cot and finds him on a bench in the eating area, head in his hands, elbows on his knees, shaking.

“STAY BACK!” he shouts.

She startles and stops. Closing her eyes, she tries to sift through his emotions… regret, guilt, anguish, self-loathing, longing…

“WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?”

It’s the first time he’s referred to the events of the spring.

“I think,” she says as she takes a careful step torward him, “I took away Snoke’s manipulation that was left in your mind. He’s been influencing you since before you could defend yourself. It felt like pulling a black curtain off your brain.” 

“YOU’RE THE ONE TRYING TO MANIPULATE ME!”

“No, Don’t fight it Ben. Feel it. Feel it all. Understand it. You can see it clearly now can’t you? All the things you hid from yourself. The lies you told yourself with Snoke’s help.”

“STOP IT!”

“Let me help you.”

“STAY AWAY FROM ME!” he roars while flinging items her way, but nothing strikes her. She walks on, unfazed.

“I’m not afraid of you Ben”

One more step and she’s embracing him, throwing her arms around his shoulders.

He’s stiff and then he grabs her, HARD. He envelopes her with his big arms, digging his fingers into her sides, burying his face in her chest, screaming, groaning, gasping and crying.

She fills him with light, surrounding him tightly, taking the painful darkness that is pumping out of him. She swallows his hurt, tightens the light around them. His screams quiet, turn to pants and gasps for breath between suppressed sobs. Her tunic is soaked with tears and snot and drool. (He is an ugly crier)

Years of repressed pain come pouring out of him.

She runs her hands through his impossibly soft black hair, satiating an odd desire she’s had since the first time he took off his helmet and left her wondering how a man so evil, could have the most beautiful hair in the galaxy.

“Rey…” he breathes in a hoarse voice.

She strokes his locks, running her fingers along his scalp. His breathing is heavy but slowing, the tension in his shoulders melting, the bruising grip on her sides loosening.

“Rey, Rey, Rey…” He repeats over and over, nuzzling his face against her chest, and he’s so much like a wounded animal, she doesn’t even realize as she leans down and places a chaste kiss on his forehead.

His breath stutters with momentary shock and he can’t stop himself from whipping his face up to look at her. She sees surprise, confusion, hope?… Even with him sitting and her standing their faces are nearly the same level, with Rey hovering just slightly above him.

Her mind is blank, but her body drives her towards the other part of him she’s been fascinatingly drawn to since their first meeting. His luscious lips.

Eyes open she presses her lips against his and thinks the sensation is odd. He recoils slightly taking a shuttering breath. They stare at each other a moment, and then he’s moving back towards her, planting a shaky kiss on her lips as well. Her eyes flutter shut, examining the sensation again. And opening a moment later, she sees he’s still looking at her in awe. They part again. Courage, and fire are returning to his eyes. This time his hand flies to the back of her neck, and she grips his curls as they press into each other, tingling lips now sliding against the other, their bodies push for more contact, there’s sighs and moans and a wildfire is burning in her chest and then…

It feels like a bolt of lightning, a flaming pulse of the force bond that shocks them enough to let go of each other.

Rey steps back and Ben stands up. They look at each other, panting and wide eyed with shock. Ben seems to finally remember himself. He marches away towards his sleeping quarters and the door slides shut.

Rey is left mind reeling.

_What did I just do?_

_I kissed Kylo Ren?!_

_No._

_I kissed Ben Solo._


	10. What did I do?

_What am I doing?_

Rey puts a hand up to her head and feels that she’s hotter than normal. Was she sick? Why was she acting this way? Why was she feeling this way?

Breathing hard she flees to her tiny cot, flopping down hard.

Now was not the time to be complicating an already complicated relationship, Rey admonished herself. Her friend’s lives and the lives of countless others were hanging in the balance…

Why did she kiss him? What drove her to? She wasn’t thinking. She just did it!

 _It was that feeling again,_ she thinks, _that pull drawing me inexorably towards… him._ She’d felt it ever since the interrogation room. A confusing, contrary attraction that defied her logical mind and came from someplace deeper. It was easier to push aside when he was acting like a monster… now not so much.

Rey frowns and covers her face with her arms. She burns again with embarrassment. Hadn’t he called her a pervert just this morning? And then she goes and does something like this? He ran away, AGAIN. He seemed to be good at that. But she crossed the line and HE was the one controlling himself…What did that say about her? What would her friends think of her now?

She flops on her belly trying not to imagine Finn’s broken hearted face or Poe’s look of horror or Leia’s disappointment.

But, then she remembers how far Kylo Ren has come. How raw and open and vulnerable he was as he clung to her crying, how remorseful, how dear. That was the Ben Solo she longed for…. _Longed for?_

Rey shakes her head and tries to stop thinking all together. This was getting her nowhere fast and now it wasn’t clear if she had ruined her chances to accomplish anything productive with her former enemy.

He could refuse to teach her now. Drop her off at the nearest planet and abandon her forever… That thought sends a swooping grip of terror through her more than anything else. She’ll apologize when she can, and they’ll get back to business. That was that.

—-

_Naïve girl, innocent girl, not knowing she’s playing with fire._

Ben had fled to his quarters and stands in the center of the room, hand on his lips, remembering the burning, sliding pressure of her soft sweet mouth.

Something has changed within him. Something was not the same. What that truly meant…remained to be seen.

He hadn’t allowed himself this idea. Hadn’t remotely allowed himself to hope she might desire him the way he was ashamed that he had at times desired her. She hated him, she abandoned him, she was a slave to a bleeding heart…

He wrote his occasional feelings off as admiration of her strength and the unavoidable biological response to a young attractive female, all of which were urges he had well under control… not so much right now.

No one had held him like that since his mother more than a decade ago. No one had run their fingers through his hair and caressed his scalp in such an intoxicating and soothing way. No one had embraced him since he became Kylo Ren, nor shown him compassion, nor comforted him, nor given him hope, nor challenged his strength, since her… Rey. The tenacious garbage picker who had broken into his mind and soul.

He had always been able to take what he wanted, but he couldn’t take anything from her that she did not give freely.

He knows the greater will of the force is at work here, that they’re strength is meant to be combined, that they’re meant to stand side by side….but to what end? For what side?

He was beginning to see the shades of gray, but still there was no apparent way that this would not end in their deaths, if he didn’t seize control of the First Order himself. 

A finger goes to his lips again. He can’t give in to this. They have too much to do and not enough time to do it…

But that didn’t mean he was going to let her live it down. A twinge of a smile pulls at the corner of his lips.

Ben collapses on his large bed with a heavy sigh. It had been days, nay weeks, or months really since he had a reasonable sleep.

Maybe, if he could close his eyes, he’d be able to make more rational decisions. Maybe he’d be able to see the truth of the matter, the path to both their salvations…

—-

Hours later Rey is having a terrible nightmare. She tosses and turns, drenched in sweat as she spirals through visions filled with burning flesh, a woman’s cries, babies wailing, children slaughtered, a whirl of fire and loss and hatred so intense she can’t breathe…

She screams and jolts awake.

Rey is just catching her breath when she looks and sees Ben at her door, shirtless, in tight black undershorts and looking over her with fearful eyes.

She jumps again, “Oh! Ben!”

And as she says it he sweeps in, scooping her up into his arms. “Hey!” she cries as he turns and marches out of the small room. She’s wearing only a breast band and white undershorts as well.

Rey grips his neck loosely, all words falling from her lips as they turn into his dark quarters. He stops before his wide bed, in a regal and immaculate room.

They both stare at the bed, hearts racing.

A million questions echo in her head but none reach her lips. She can’t think over the thundering of her heart, matching his.

“We need to sleep,” he finally says barely above a whisper.

He lowers her legs and lets her stand. Rey backs away a few steps in the dim room, wide eyes staring at a nearly naked Adonis of a male specimen before her. With every breath he takes his wide chest expands and falls. So much strength, barely contained. 

“We need to sleep… maybe together…” he tries again but the words fall away. Rey gets his meaning now. Maybe together they’ll sleep better than apart.

“I’ve never…” she starts. _I’ve never slept next to someone before._

She telegraphs her thoughts to him instead.

 _Don’t touch me and I won’t touch you,_ he thinks back at her.

It was a promise.

They lock eyes and she sees his intensity and fire. 

Rey remembers the feel of his lips on hers, the electricity his every touch left on her skin. She blushes hard and tears her eyes away, looking down at the floor. This would not do. What had she just told herself. They had important things to do, there was no time for complications. If sleep was what they needed, then sleep they should get, and then it was back to work trying to bring down Hux. 

Without answering or looking back at him Rey climbs into the bed and lays as close as she can to the wall, facing it. A single long pillow runs the length of the head of the bed and she cuddles into it getting comfortable.

She can feel Ben watching her every move, and senses his amusement when he notices how she’s pressed herself against the wall as far away as she can.

She feels his hesitance and his nervousness, before hiding it behind his usual unemotional façade. Rey feels him lift the sheet and slide his heavy body underneath. The atmosphere under the covers becomes warmer. Though they aren’t touching, she can feel his heart beat close to hers and she focuses on his breathing like a meditation.

It’s odd but satisfying. She’s hyper aware of his movements, and sounds, and smells… she blushes again. The clean but manly smell of him is everywhere and it’s strangely calming.

She closes her eyes and feels the lulling satisfaction of the force around them. It isn’t long before they both fall into the deepest, most satisfying sleep of their lonely lives.

—-

On a world far away the Resistance is planning a daring and dangerous mission.

“Good thinking on your feet Captain, or should I say Admiral,” comes the husky voice of the galaxy’s toughest woman.

“Leia, thank you,” Poe gushes at her side.

“Hold your thanks until after. If all goes well, we may save her yet.”

“We’ll bring Rey home General, I promise.”

—-

When Rey wakes up, Ben is already gone from the bed. She’s content and rested and feels wonderful. _How long was I out?_ She wonders. She’s startled to find a clean pair of clothing on the bed beside her. The same as she found in the crew quarters before. A large long black sleeve shirt, and black leggings.

Rey dresses quickly and ventures out into the common area and sees yet another interesting sight. 

Delicious smelling hot breakfast waiting and ready for her.

Ben is pouring over the Jedi texts on the other side of the table, wearing his now customary black tank top. It’s no wonder the Force Bond opened with this man shirtless, he didn’t seem to favor clothing when he didn’t have to.

She’s excited to get to work. 

“Did you sleep,” she asks him as she tears into the food with her usual fervor. 

Ben looks up just long enough to nod, then resumes his studies. She smiles. Something about all of this just feels right. 

—-

After breakfast Rey sits beside Ben and listens diligently as he explains the peculiar dialect and letters being used in the texts.

They read together and she begins to understand how to read it herself. Rey is deeply surprised that the original intent of the Jedi was a refined usage of both light and dark in a single practitioner. 

“It makes sense now, what Luke told me,” she says thoughtfully.

Ben tilts his head questioningly. 

“He said that to say if the Jedi died, that the light would die, was just vanity. That the light always exists, even without the Jedi. He wanted the order to end… but maybe it just needs to change…” Rey loses herself in thought and Ben stares at her.

Change is what he would bring the galaxy. With her by his side. 

He had woken up first, his eyes devouring the sight of her lovely peaceful face on his pillow. She smelled like sweetness and grease, her warmth filled up his dead heart and he KNEW in that moment, there was no going back. He… _loved…_ her.

He was totally and completely screwed.

—-

They read for hours and when Rey can’t focus any more she works on creating a new staff. She wraps it in the fine fabric she stripped from Vader’s castle, burning the ends, tightening and cementing the grips, and filing the sharper edges down. It was welcome mindless labor. 

Over dinner they discuss ideas for a plan.

“We need to infiltrate his inner circle. Hux is cautious but overly ambitious and overly cocky, He’s most likely to make a mistake when he feels safe. He’s too smart to appear in person if we allowed ourselves to be taken prisoner so we need to be more… delicate about our entrance.”

Rey barks a laugh and Ben gives her a biting look. She looks half apologetic, half amused. Kylo Ren was not a delicate man, he was raw and explosive. Ben Solo on the other hand… She’s felt his soul mending since they reunited on Gallanco. He’s almost kind now… _almost…_ she chuckles to herself. He’s still unpredictably impulsive, if last night was any indication. 

“So, what do you suggest Supreme Leader? Where’s the weakness?”

He has to stop himself from rolling his eyes at her. 

“The Attendants.”

“The what now?”

“The Attendants are tall ghastly creatures responsible for the survival of the remnants of the empire. They grew the forces in the Unknown regions according to a plan laid out by Emperor Palpatine. It was a fail safe in case the Empire fell, which it did thanks to Vader. They ensured the birth of the First Order and are very close to Hux right now. If we could infiltrate them, it will take us right to where we need to be.”  

Rey stares at him nervously, and he eyes her with those impossibly deep, ancient brown orbs of his.

Could Ben still revert back? Could he still try to regain control of the First Order? After everything they’ve been through, could she be forced to fight him again? Rey didn’t think she had the strength to do so anymore. 

He senses her hesitation and he resents it. _When will she be on my side?_

_—_

More hours go by in silence and Rey can’t stand her anxious thoughts any longer. She stands and walks back towards her cot, when Ben grabs her by the arm, halting her in front of his quarters.

“Where are you going?” He asks almost angrily, towering over her.

She points back to the crew quarters, her eyebrows raised, “To sleep…”

“You sleep here now,” he says more forcefully than he intends in that low dangerous voice.

Rey’s eyes go wide as the grip on her arm tightens.

“Say please.” Rey’s not sure what compels her to say it, but this time she won’t let herself be carried away like some hapless little girl.

Hand still on her arm, he lowers his face to hers, his lips hover just above her ear and she can feel his warm breath on her neck. He wasn’t going to let her go anymore.

“Please,” he speaks huskily into her ear.

And Rey remembers the throne room, sending emotions welling up in her throat. She was not nothing to him still. He had pleaded for her to stay with him then, like he was the most desperately lonely man in the galaxy. But it wasn’t right, she couldn’t stay and let her friends die. But that didn’t mean she didn’t want to take his hand, after he saved her, after he wanted her, something no one had ever given her before…

And she can feel his fear now, as a calloused thumb experimentally caresses the skin of her arm, over the scar she got in her battle with the Praetorian guard. He doesn’t want her to abandon him again, the same way she doesn’t want to be abandoned. 

His little touch send shivers down her spine.

“I won’t leave you,” she whispers back, frightening herself with the truth of it. 

Ben gulps, pulling back and searching her eyes. He feels her sincerity and the sensation is overwhelming. He can’t control the well of affection that fills him, the softness his eyes betray to her.

Then she’s reaching her hand up again, landing on his face, stroking the scar she gave him with her thumb.

“You’re touching me.”

“I am.”

It’s too much.

He leans down and captures her lips. A sincere sweetness turns into a growing inferno, as they grip each other.

She sighs into his mouth and he lets loose a groan as they press harder into each other, hands roaming. She can’t get enough of his soft wavy hair, gripping his locks as she pulls him in deeper. A tongue tests her lips, she jumps a little but allows their tongues to play. Then a large, warm hand slips under her shirt and Rey leaps up. He easily catches her as she wraps her legs around his torso.

Every sound, every touch is electric, sending fire to her belly in a way she’s never felt before. 

Ben turns and pushes her against the wall, trying hard not to hurt her but finding it harder and harder to think as he feels more of her warm smooth flesh. 

Her shirt is pulled over her head. The momentary lack of contact quickly rectified as Ben’s mouth comes crashing back down upon her swollen lips with a passion.

His lips are like pillows, more heavenly than she can imagine, Rey thinks, as she sucks his bottom lip into her mouth and nibbles it with her teeth. Ben is about to lose all his sense, a raging erection already pulling at his too tight pants. He presses into her, grinding into her crotch.

Rey’s eyes fly open as a jolt like lightening shoots through her core.

She stops momentarily afraid. She’s never felt anything like that before, and she knows what that part of him is. 

Ben halts, sensing her fear and kicks himself mentally. 

She’s never done anything like this before… and neither has he. 

“Wait,” he says in a raspy voice, before she can decide to flee. 

Ben lifts her up and carries her into the room, laying her gently upon the bed.

“Don’t be afraid,” he rumbles, willing his own sincerity through the bond. 

Rey is astonished at his tenderness and fills herself with the sight of him. His face flushed, his lips red and his hair tussled, all because of her. 

He wasn’t the man from star killer base anymore… or maybe because it WAS him… that made this all the more exciting to her. She’s seen him at his most powerful, violent and cruel, and now he’s here, putty in her hands. She feels herself getting drunk, and wet, at the thought. She’s taken care of herself before, what would it be like to have the most terrible, powerful man in the galaxy help her get there?

“Don’t stop,” she says huskily. 

Ben is happy to oblige, but more slowly this time.

He’s kissing her again, hovering over her as they lay, legs entwined. His free hand caresses her hard abs, travels up her belly and envelops her breast over the bindings. She gasps against his mouth. His thumb runs over a protruding nipple and she can’t seem to breathe. His mouth leaves hers and she whimpers as he instead kisses a trail down her neck, over her collar bone, then…

Rey gasps again and arches her back as she feels his hot wet mouth over her nipple. Even through the fabric it’s blissful and intense. And he’s moving his tongue so slowly, then another hand takes the other breast and she’s squirming and writhing beneath him. She can’t take it anymore. 

Rey pushes Ben back and straddles him. He’s sitting up against the wall as she recaptures his perfect lips but she doesn’t stay there long. She’s assaulting his jawline, then his neck, savoring his growls and the digging of his fingers into her sides. 

She arrives at that damn tank top and she rips it with both her hands. Ben gasps and knits his eyebrows. It’s one of the hottest fucking things he’s ever experienced in his life and it’s taking every ounce of his self control not to take her right here and now. 

She kisses and bites him everywhere, savoring her exploration of that impossibly broad chest. Her fingers play over his abs and it’s Ben’s turn to struggle to breathe.

Rey finally brings herself back up to his lips, centering her molten core over his.

An experimental rocking of the hips instantly leaves her panting. She can feel his hot hardness pressed against her damp center, and the feel of pressure friction is unlike any sensation before. It’s fire and electricity and she’s burning up. Rey can’t stop. She hooks her hands around his neck and grinds against him again. Ben grabs her hips and kisses her hard.

Then they’re forehead to forehead, panting hard and looking down between them as she rides him like a fathier over their clothes.

It doesn’t take long. She’s moaning, and sighing, and calling his name.

“Ben!” she cries as she sends herself over the edge. She presses hard against him, wiggling, riding that high for as long as she can. She collapses shaking into his arms and a surprised Ben strokes her back in disbelief.

“Shhh,” he soothes as she struggles with seemingly every emotion she’s ever had.

Rey rolls onto her side and buries her face in her hands, turning red. 

_Did I really just do that? Did that just happen? Did I do that thing with Kylo Ren?_

Sensing her thought he pries her hands away from her face, and forces her to look at him. 

“My name is Ben,” he says, surprising himself.

Rey laughs and cries blissful tears.

They hold each other for a long time. Shock and awe is only way to describe Ben’s feelings. Watching her ride him to her completion filled him with pleasure and pride he’s never known. Was this real? Was this truly the girl who had slashed him? Broken his family’s light saber and run off with that damnable rabble? Did she truly desire him? Would she truly stay with him? Was she his…his Rey?

His chest swells as she slips into sleep, and he feels like he could destroy 10 First Orders and a thousand Huxs just to protect her. 

Especially when she makes those sounds that only he has elicited from her lips.

He would be her Ben… but only Kylo Ren can keep them safe he thinks darkly.

He gently pulls out from under her and escapes off to the refresher. Ben is still sporting a stubborn and painful erection that needs to be taken care of. And after that, there was an element of their plan that he needs to attend to…


	11. Nothing but this

There’s fire, but warmth. Violence, but peace in her dream.

A hazy vision of the future. Power and purpose.

It fades to obscurity as Rey slowly comes to consciousness, finding warmth enveloping her entire body. Under black silk sheets she lays, an armor of muscle wrapped around her protectively. A bulging bicep supports her neck, another arm wraps around her middle, a nose and lips are at her neck.

Ben stirs, pulling her closer, savoring the warmth of her body against his.

A rush of emotions pours through Rey. It’s Ben, he’s holding her. Like no one in her life has ever held her. Her enemy, her stubborn opponent, her teacher, her friends, her…something else. Disbelief, affection, fear, satisfaction, all run through her. She wills the galaxy away. If she knows anything about life, it’s that it takes more than it gives and right now she wants to relish every sensation.

That’s when she feels something hard pressing against her bottom. _Oh,_ she thinks, _It’s still there._  

“Is it always like that?”

“Hmm?” He questions groggily.

“Your…” she can’t bring herself to say it. Rey flushes and the temperature under the sheets rises.

“Your, you know… Is it always hard like that?”

She feels a large genuine smile on her shoulder.

“No,” comes an extra deep sleepy voice, “just with you.”

“Well, doesn’t it hurt? How does it go down?”

Now there’s a dark rumbling chuckle and he hugs her closer, pressing himself into her bum.

“Would you like me to show you?”

Rey feels like her head is going to pop off.

“No!” She says too quickly in a high voice, “That is… I mean…”

Ben chuckles and nibbles at her shoulder, savoring her discomfort. A feeling of joy and mischief fills his heart and it feels like he’s awakening from the dead. After all these years, to think he was still capable of the rush of light filling his heart. It almost ached to feel such a thing again, and to feel whatever this was, for the first time. He’d never had an equal, never had a lover, never had a twin soul to hold against his chest. This may all be a dream, all may be a temporary state. Maybe, once they leave this shuttle, she’ll never want to touch him again… But after what she did to him last night, he imagines it would be hard for her to satisfy her surprising neediness any other way again.

“Really? After you took advantage of me last night?” he whispers with a smirk into her ear.

This was all too new, too intense, too close. She wasn’t used to the simplest of touches, even hugs still made her uncomfortable and suddenly she was swimming in the yawning expanse of taught flesh and scars and muscles that is Ben Solo, Former Supreme Leader Kylo Ren.

Her mortification only deepens at his words.

“T-take advantage!?” she stutters scandalized.

“You used me as a humping post. Quite eagerly as I recall. Riding away like a prized jockey…”

“Stop,” she cries, burying her face in her hands, embarrassed but aroused.

She shivers as he starts kissing a hot firm trail down her spine.

“How will you make it up to me?” He rumbles.

“You liked it,” she pants as he splays a large warm hand across her belly, the other hand grips her hip as he kisses all the way down to the base of her spine.

She gasps as Ben takes a bite of her love handle area then slides down and presses his face into her bottom, his cheeks on hers, rubbing, nuzzling her round, taut and surprisingly wide behind. It’s a part of a woman’s physique he had always appreciated… back when he concerned himself with such foolish and temporary things… Somehow, it didn’t seem so foolish anymore.

Truth be told he took tremendous pride in giving her pleasure last night. She may be the first person in his entire life who had ever taken pleasure from his existence. She was certainly the first woman with the power to put him in his place. It was deeply intoxicating. He was more than a monster to her. He was a man.

Ben grabs her hips and in a quick movement flips her onto her back. “Oh!” she gasps.

Then he’s heading for her sweet center, placing a firm hot kiss on her apex of nerves over the thin black leggings. A jolt like fire shoots through her lower belly and she scoots back a bit surprised.

“Stop.”

Ben sighs and obeys. He places a cheek on her belly and looks up at her disapprovingly, like she’d better have a good explanation to halt his delicious assault. There’s hunger in his eyes.

“Come here,” she commands.

Again, Ben obeys. He climbs up her body, a leg sliding up between hers, pressing against her tingling, swelling center. She can feel his hardness on her hip through the material of his black undershorts.

“Show me,” she commands.

Ben gives her a questioning look.

“Yours is different than mine. Show me how you do it… to yourself I mean…”

Realization at what she’s saying blows his mind. He’s suddenly filled with insecurity. She wants to watch him pleasure himself like some kind of informational holoprojection? He’s flabbergasted by her shameless request.

“Rey…”

She feels his hesitation but knows if she backs down now she’s lose all her nerve.

Rey pierces him with the heady desire of her gaze as a delicate hand plays over his rock-hard abs. She wants to see. It will give her pleasure. Ben gulps and wonder’s if he’ll ever be able to deny her anything again.

He bites his lip. With a bracing breath he yanks his shorts down and Rey’s eyebrow fly up into her hair line.

 _It’s BIG!_ She’s never seen anything like it. A long and thick and smooth member, with a head like a mushroom, jutting out of a tuft of jet black hair, with huge, round hanging bags of skin just under. The cuts of the muscles of his abs and hips point down at it like an arrow. He lays mostly on his back, propped up on his elbows, offering himself up for display. Ben studies her carefully. She hasn’t taken her eyes off his crotch and it only makes him grow harder. She can’t help herself, she has questions.

“Is it supposed to be that big?”

Ben raises his eyebrows and a small smile tugs at the corners of his lips.

“Yes,” he says simply.

“How does something like that… fit… inside…” Rey waves a hand over her own pelvis.

Now Ben quirks an eyebrow, hunger growing.

“Yours stretches.”

Rey doubts that. She’s never gotten more than the tip of a finger inside herself.

“What are these?” she asks a finger grazing his scrotum. Ben flinches at the sensation and thinks she’s going to kill him. She’s entirely oblivious to her teasing. Rey jerks back at his reaction with eyes wide.

“Testicles. Where the seed is made and pumps out from.”

“Did that hurt just now?”

“No. It felt good.”

Fireworks are going off in Rey’s mind.

“How does the seed come out?”

“You stroke it.”

Rey finally meets his eyes again. He can feel her excitement and curiosity and he thinks that he very much enjoys being her teacher.

“Touch it,” she commands.

Ben flops down on his back. His hands fly down to his cock, his eyes never leaving Rey.

He runs slow strokes up and down his length with a two-handed technique.

One hand fully envelops himself while the other, resting on top of the fingers wrapped around himself, strokes just one side in time with the other.

She sits with one hand on his abs, the other on his thigh, looking down at his work, staring at his most private act with willing and ravenous eyes.

Ben is driven by the exhilaration of his shame.

Rey squirms, rubbing her thighs together as a tingling warmth grows between her own legs. This is not so different from what she did to herself sometimes, when she couldn’t sleep, and she tired of imagining the island.

“Let me see your chest,” he demands suddenly, “your wrappings, take it off.”

“You want to see my breasts?” she asks with innocence.

Rey brushes a finger lightly under the swell of her breast and Ben growls, eyes trailing every movement as he continues to pump into his own hand. He’s desperate. The promise of perky handfuls pulls just below the surface of that thin white fabric.

She thinks for all he’s done, and for calling her a pervert, he still deserves to suffer a little.

“NO,” she says with finality and Ben throws his head back, pumping himself harder, painfully turned on by her dominance over him. What _was_ this other worldly power she had over him? How long would she deny him? Why did he like it so much?

Without awareness of even doing it, Rey lifts her hand from his thigh and slides it between her own legs, pressing a finger into that increasingly demanding bundle of nerves. Pleasure sweeps through her as she leans down closer over Ben’s frantic work.   

He notices her movement and it sends him closer to the edge. As she leans over, her beautiful ass lifts into the air, his eyes devour every curve, the sheen of sweat on her back, the work of her finger on herself, her face growing closer to that part of him, his nemesis, his lover, his pupil, his equal, his QUEEN…

His orgasm hits him hard and fast, he grunts and gasps as he squirts out onto his belly. Rey jumps back surprised! Some of it hits her hand that was on his abs.

She fingers it with fascination as Ben tries to capture his breath. It’s thick and white-ish. She sniffs it, then takes a quick taste and Ben thinks he’s going to blow all over again.

“It’s salty,” Rey says.

The next moment Ben has captured her, sending her on her back as he hovers over her, his arms on either side of her head. Rey is captivated by the wide expanse of his sweaty chest yawning over her, expanding and contracting with his every breath, his member dripping between them. With a quick turn of the wrist, what was spent on his belly is flicked away with the force. He looks back at her.

His expression is fierce, one she’s seen on the battle field.

 _SHOW ME!_ Every part of him practically screams into her mind.

He wants to see her too.  All of her.

She meets his fierce gaze with one of her own. Then she obliges.

Rey knows the basic mechanics involved in what she thinks this is. And while it scares her, something else, stronger and louder and growing in her soul, wants to be closer to him, wants all of him and all of her to be together. For just this moment, nothing else matters.

He leans back as she unwraps her breast band and slides off her leggings, revealing a tuft of brown curls.

The sight is like a punch to his lower belly that spreads like wildfire, up his spines and across his skin. He starts to harden again. He’s never seen anything more beautiful in his life. A small blush and innocent look of anxiety play on her lovely face, her brown hair lose and mussed, her chest heaving, supple small breasts with cute pink nipples rise and fall, abs as cuts as his, her womanhood, a delicate and virgin plain, begging his assault, surrendering to his will. This fiery, dangerous and powerful young woman is presenting herself to him, is trusting him… It’s too much, he doesn’t know where to start!

_Her mouth._

He sweeps back up for the kiss, almost crushing her with his weight.

The feel of her full, uninterrupted flesh against him is what he imagines heaven must feel like, even though he’ll never deserve such a thing.

He kisses her and works his way back down, launching his long-anticipated attack. Those perfect breasts are first. His mouth is relentless and Rey clings to his hair for dear life, squirming as his hot mouth captures her perky peak, his tongue doing things she can’t imagine while a large warm hand envelops the other. He rolls a nipple in his fingers pulling slightly, relishing in her yelps.

His assault continues south, across her abdomen. There’s kissing and licking and biting as Rey arches into him. He leans back, grabbing her by hips and yanking her toward him. Arousal burns through the bond and he smirks. Ben lays on his stomach and positions himself looking between her legs and with two large hands he spread her open.

“Ben,” she cries suddenly embarrassed again, “I’m dirty…”

“I’m dirty too,” he says as he brushes feather like caresses along her thighs.

“Show me what _you_ do,” he rumbles.

Rey is red. She has half a mind to deny him again but those caresses so close to her private place have her rational mind gone to mush.

A thin hand slides down, going to work on that sensitive bundle at the apex of her sex. It’s pretty straight forward what she does to herself. Pushing down on that spot with her fingers and squeezing the muscles together there.

He bends her legs up, spreading her further to improve his view. He continues to stroke her thighs as he watches her fingers and plants kisses on the skin approaching her center. Rey is having trouble breathing, her eyes are shut tight, drinking in every sensation.

He’s never been this intimate with a woman before.

There was one rushed make out session after a game of spin the lightsaber at the Jedi Academy. She tried to shove her hand down his pants and he ended it abruptly. That damned woman had laughed at him then. It was bliss watching her struck down by his Knights.

Ben shakes the memory from his head and focuses on the incredible sight before him. He’s ready to do some of his own exploration. 

While she works herself on top, he takes two fingers and spreads her folds, running his fingers up and down. She moans and writhes and whispers his name. He finds her opening and remembers the things he learned from the other men at the Jedi temple. How he loathed hearing their stories of conquest then, and how he enjoyed ending their lives too. But now he thinks, the information may finally be of use.

Positioning a middle finger over her opening he enters her and feels her gasp and her warm slick muscles grip him. Rey winces a little, but pleasure out weighs any pain. She’s seeing stars, it feels so good!

“Mmm, Ben, more, whatever you’re doing, move it…” she mumbles in bliss.

He’s happy to oblige.

He slowly pumps one finger, then two and the feeling of fullness combined with her own ministrations brings her close to the edge. She writhes on the silk sheets losing herself, mumbling incoherently and Ben can feel her arousal through the bond.

_She’s close!_

He wants to be the one who does it!

Ben flings her hand away and replaces it with his mouth over her clit and Rey practically screams at the sensation! A tongue lavishes her pulsing nerves as he pumps with his fingers and she’s sent over the edge, shuttering, shaking, gripping his head, pushing into his mouth, riding his faces in the most earth shattering orgasm of her life.

Ben is practically suffocated and he laughs against her, allowing her reaction to swell his already inflated ego. He wipes his face of the spit of fluid that popped from within her and thinks is all smells and tastes heady and sweet.

Once she releases him, he slides back up and envelopes her in his arms.

Satisfaction and bliss pulse between them.

Rey has never felt such pleasure, such peace, such warmth. Ben wipes tears from her eyes (the remnants of her orgasm) and flesh to flesh they breath together, relishing their high, willing this moment to last forever.

“I didn’t know it could feel like that…” Rey whispers into his chest.

Ben chuckles warmly and it rumbles through his chest and into hers.

 They stay like that for some time, holding each other, fingers running gentle caresses over shoulders, chests, necks and faces.

A thought, or rather a fear, begins to fills Rey’s heart as she comes down from her high. Remembering the war and their purpose she thinks, this could be only moment they ever share. And she wants more. 

They lay, embracing and facing each other. Still tingling down there, Rey begins rubbing against Ben’s already swollen member.

He had been thinking similar dark thoughts, but was content with what she’s allowed to happen between them thus far. He wasn’t going to push any further. But then she starts moving against him. His cock slides against the front of her folds, as she grinds against him, and his mind descends into a needy fog. Everything is still hot and slick and soon they’re panting and sighing again.

Then a delicate hand slides between them and wraps around his length.

Ben groans and buries his face in the nook of her shoulder. No one had taken him in hand before, nor had he wanted them to. It was exquisite. 

Rey makes some experimental stroke, completely amazed at the smoothness of the skin. It’s like silk itself! And yet so hard. She runs a thumb over the top, spreading moisture down his length and Ben is losing his senses, pumping himself into her hand slowly.

But that’s not what she wants to accomplish here.

Rey takes Ben’s length and positions it further between her legs, right where she thinks he entered her with his fingers before. She lifts a leg over his hip and pushes against him, slipping the very tip inside.

“R-Rey!” he chokes. 

His heart utterly stops. Ben tenses and grabs her shoulders to look into her eyes. Her eyes are heavy lidded, teary and intense, desperate and adoring.

He looks down between them and his heart stutters again, the pit of his stomach falling in with the intensity of the dire to push all the way inside her.

His eyes fly back to hers. 

“Is this what you want?” He asks in a husky nervous voice.

She pours her feelings into him and he’s surprised and overwhelmed. _It may be the only chance we get._

 _“_ Ben, please…”

That’s all he needs. One arm snakes around her back, hand up to her neck while the other hand takes a firm grip on her hip and he pushes inside his Jedi love. Ben gasps and Rey groans.

She tenses and Ben tries to kiss the pain away, as he inches further and further into her. 

There’s the feeling of pinching and pulling her apart as she’s filled to the brim.

Shaking, shuttering they look at each other, holding each other. His face hangs over hers, worshiping her, drinking in their reality and their oneness. The force rejoices around them as she lifts a finger and brushes his dark dangling hair behind his ear. She strokes the large shell of it, smiling at how endearing his big ears make him and he just watches the expressions on her face chasing each other with wonder.

Then he moves and they both moan, she clutches his shoulder and they lock eyes again.

Neither can believe this is real.

Slowly, they move in rhythm with each other, the force whipping into a frenzy of colors around them, each whispering the other’s name. Ben rolls her fully on her back to get a better angle, and drives himself into her a little more quickly. Her wet tightness around him is like nothing he ever imagined and he knows this won’t last long.

There are sweet kisses as he buries his face beside hers and he moves again and again. Rey’s discomfort quickly becomes pleasure as their collective arousal builds, neither sure where one’s feeling’s begin and the other’s ends. 

Rey rakes her fingers down his back and wraps her legs around his hips, pulling him further into her. It will never be close enough, she wants all of him! And he wants all of her.

Ben collapses on her, his weigh delicious, his pace inside her is maddening, their desire all consuming, pleasure is growing, it’s all going to blow!

Moaning, panting, gasping the come in unison! The bed rattles, items fall from the walls, he buries himself inside her as his seed escapes in explosive squirts. They cling to each other, hot and sweaty, the pressure of each other is the only reality.

Ben rolls beside her, spooning her, keeping his penis inside her as long as he can. And it’s like this that they fall back to sleep.

For now, the galaxy and the war can wait.


	12. thump thump

_Thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump._

The sound of a beating heart brings Rey slowly to consciousness. 

Her world is different now. She lifts her head from the wide expanse of Ben Solo’s chest, and looks over his sleeping face. He seems so young and handsome without anger pulling at his features. She traces a finger over the scars she once gave a monster of a man, and prays the force will continue to heal his twisted heart.

Her traveling fingers wake Ben from his bliss induced nap.

He drinks in the sight of her over him, topless and pensive and sweet. He feels like he’s awoken into another reality, another future far better than the world he came from. If only it would last forever…

He captures her hand with his large warm one and presses it to his heart. Rey smiles, swelling with emotion. She bends down to plant a gentle kiss on his beautiful lips…

B _eep beep beep beep._

The arrival alert sounds and their happy illusion is shattered.

Both tense and sit up. Had they so easily forgotten everything else?

Rey pulls a sheet over her chest suddenly self conscious and Ben looks at her sadly. The spell has been broken. They still have work to do. He slides out of the sheets and stands, his smooth, toned behind on full display as he walks to a sliding panel on the opposite wall to recover some clothes. 

Rey makes a squeaking sound and partially hides her face, cheeks burning as she admires his.

He looks back at her with something between a smile and a smirk, allowing the ego boost to take the edge off some of his anxiety. 

“Get clean. Meet me in the cockpit,” Ben says, resignation in his voice as he pulls on a pair of high wasted leather pants. Then he’s gone from the room.

Rey realizes she’s still sticky from their “activities” and she burns in a full body blush. What in the stars has she gotten herself into?

—-

Rey returns refreshed, dressed in the same black long sleeve undershirt and black leggings, only now she’s attached her brown belt and holster around her. Ben is back to his typical black outfit, remarkably similar to what he wore in Snoke’s throne room. 

“Jedha,” he says before the question is asked. “There were kyber crystal mines here before the empire leveled it.” 

Rey makes a non-committal sound as she sits, then winces. 

Ben’s head snaps around so fast he kinks his neck. His eyes go wide. He can feel her pain.

Rey makes an apologetic sound and smiles nervously as she scratches the back of her neck. She can tell Ben is panicking a little and it makes her chuckle.

“It’s just a little sore,” Rey dismisses, “not worse than what I feel every cycle…”

Ben’s cheeks redden a little and he focuses back on their descent. 

Rey thinks it’s sweet that he cares about her discomfort. 

—-

Jedha reminds Rey of Jakku, sandy and bleak except with tall plateaus. One side of the planet is nothing more than a crater. 

They land just outside the blast zone.

Ben and Rey descend from the ramp, packs on their backs and make their way briskly toward what appears to be the remnants of a temple, etched into a stone cliff face.

”Here, we will rebuild your light saber,” Ben says once inside the ruins. It’s cool in here, with streaks of light and a breeze blowing in through the holes in the stone walls. There are broken statues and dust covers everything, making the relics here indistinct. Ben tosses his pack to the ground. They’ve brought some of the scavenged materials from Vader’s castle to help them.

“Aren’t we going to look for a new crystal?” Rey asks, looking around the crumbling sanctuary.

“The break in this crystal is clean. We can make use of what we have.”

“Then why did we have to fly half way across the galaxy to do it?” 

Ben hesitates and Rey looks at him suddenly suspicious. 

“This place is strong with the force,” Ben replies, keeping his face and voice neutral. 

It’s true. The force is palpable in this place. But it still seems like an incomplete answer. Something doesn’t feel right and Rey becomes nervous.

“Ben…”

“Let’s begin.”

He sits quickly and starts unpacking all the materials as Rey squats and watches with narrowed eyes. She’ll go along with this for now, but this conversation is not over.

Finally, he lays out the two halves of Anakin’s light saber, split down the middle by their treacherous tug of war. It’s not a memory he cares to relive. This weapon should have been his. A powerful relic and heirloom. And yet, here it is, destroyed, torn apart by competing allegiances… _What brute strength she wields… perfectly equal to mine_ …

“Do you have that staff?” Ben murmurs as he looks over everything.

Rey hands him the staff from her back.

“You favor this weapon. The saber should reflect it.”

Rey is captivated as she watches him shorten the staff. What follows are hours of concerted effort. The crystals are laid at either end. Ben and Rey work together, manipulating metal materials with the force to create encasements for the crystals. They wire the modulation circuits and energy gates. Ben lays a hand over Rey’s as they calibrate the blade emitter shroud and emitter matrix, all with the force. It was delicate work, and both knew the power of mishandling the crystal.

They triple check their work. They’ve created a double sided staff light saber, that if necessary, can detach in the center creating two separate weapons. Then Ben has Rey lay her hands upon it.

“Speak to it. Pour your energy into it.”

She does. Rey sits and feels the saber in the force. It’s pieces cry for resonance, like her. There’s sadness and hope. Anger but determination. Violence and kindness. All in one. She doesn’t know how long she sit meditating, speaking to her weapon. She thinks it’s long time because Ben looks very tired when she finally opens her eyes.

“Light it,” he says, eyes intense and mind curious.

_Bvvvvmmm_

Rey’s eyes light up in wonder at the pale purple blades of her double ended staff saber.

—-

Ben lights his blade. They spar and there’s joy in her heart as she slides across the dusty ground, leaps and spins, striking at Ben with one side and the other. They halt panting.

Then Ben falls quiet and dark.

“I have to tell you something,” he says deeply.

Rey powers down her blades. She knows nothing good can follow.

“You were right, we can’t do this alone. I’ve mobilized the Knights of Ren, they are loyal to me. They will meet us here, a standard day from now.” 

Fear drops in her stomach. _No!_ She thinks, a sense of betrayal bubbling in her throat. That legendary group of murderers and First Order enforcers?

They stare at each other a long moment. 

“How? Our coms are gone?” Rey finally gets out in a strained voice.

“I have other means of communicating with them.”

“When?”

He looks slightly ashamed. It was right after that first experience together when she rode him like the wind. He had been so determined to protect her, he thought it worth the risk.

She senses the answer and kicks herself for being weak and allowing the distraction. She really was a fool.

“How do you know they’ll still be loyal to you now?” Rey demands, her anger growing, “What can you offer them that they don’t already have? They could kill us, they’ll kill my friends too… “

This infuriates Ben. _She still cares for those brutes…_

“I know them best. I am their master.” 

“And you just killed _your_ master. What makes you think they won’t do the same to you?”

Ben pauses…he honestly hadn’t thought of it that way.

Rey is pleading now, “Ben what if it’s a trap?”

’“It’s not. They’ll help us infiltrate the Attendants. They’re incensed, ready to rain fire and furry on my behalf. They want to set it right and destroy Hux once and for all.”

“Set it right?” It feels like ice is pouring down her spine. Ben gulps.

“You never intended to destroy the First Order did you…” Rey’s voice is soft and dangerous.

“Rey, that’s not true…”

“What happens when they discover _YOUR_ betrayal? When they learn it was you who killed Snoke? Do they know that I’m with you? Won’t they want to kill me too? How…”

“Let me explain…”

“NO! YOU LIED TO ME!” And she’s running, new weapon in hand.

A strong hand grabs her wrist from behind just outside to massive stone entryway

“Rey, listen…”

“I’m done listening to you,”

“ENOUGH!” He roars gripping her hard, “I’m trying to save you. You can’t just destroy the First Order and leave a power vacuum in the galaxy. It will create chaos and more death and destruction than what’s necessary. Another power will just rise up in it’s place again. There’s no magic button that will bring the First Order down, no instant fix to their hold on the galaxy. But we can take hold of the behemoth and remold it into something that really will bring peace. The infrastructure is in place. You need my strength, and I need your light. Together we can bring balance to… to everything. You can have a say in that…”

“If you wanted me to have a say, as an equal, then you wouldn’t have gone behind my back.”

Ben has no answer for this. He hadn’t thought of that either.

“You’ll kill my…”

“I won’t.”

Rey blinks and she can tell he’s being sincere. At the very least, he doesn’t seem to be hell bent on killing her friends anymore.

“We can find a middle way…” Ben says, finally voicing a thought that he had yet to utter. He had been obsessing over the Jedi texts, desperate for an answer. A particular passage had truly captivated his imagination. “…the resolving of gray through refined Jedi sight,” Ben recites in a whisper.

“And what will your knights do when they discover your intensions are not so wholly dark side?”

“They’ll follow me or die.”

“How?” Rey demands exasperated, confused and angry. “What if they turn against you all at once?” 

“I won’t be alone…” he says pleadingly, eyes boring into her soul.

Her chest tightens and he lets out a frustrated sigh. She promised she wouldn’t leave him. But she made that promise to Ben Solo, not Kylo Ren. She wants to believe him, but there are too many variables and she doesn’t yet trust his new found altruism. Even so, she _can_ see that he’s trying, that something is changing.

“You and I… we’re meant to stand together,” he pleads taking a step closer and braving a hand on her cheek. “This is the best way to protect you…”

“I’m not the one who needs saving,” she says bitingly. His hand on her face flinches but his gaze doesn’t waver.

“There’s something else,” he whispers.

Rey sees a flash of light and suddenly Ben is drawing her into a vision. He shows her the ghost of Kenobi, everything he told Ben about Anakin and Padme and themselves! She sees that last violent encounter on Mustafar and hears the dire plea of the ghost about balance and second chances.

When Rey emerges from the vision she is on the ground, gasping and sweating on her knees. Her ears are ringing and she vaguely hears the foggy voice of Ben calling her name. 

_My spirit is not just connected to that past… it IS that past?… It can’t be true… IT CAN’T BE TRUE!_

_“_ No, it’s a lie. It’s all a lie,” she forces out in a strained voice, while catching her breath.

His hands are on her shoulders. “You know what you felt at the castle. You know it’s true as I’ve had to accept it’s true. We have this chance to balance life in our own way. Fuck that ghost and fuck the past. We get to choose the future…” 

It’s too much all at once. She’s not Darth Vader, she’s not. She can’t be. And she’s running again, back to the shuttle.

Ben catches her again on the ramp, wrapping her in a suffocating embrace. 

“You are Rey,” he whispers into her ear. “I am Ben. Nothing has changed. But now you know our greater purpose. And… now you know, I’ll never be as strong as you.”

She looks up at him, tears and agony in her eyes.

“We’ll create a plan together. If you want me to call off the Knight I will. But I won’t let you leave again…”

She’s about to respond when they both feel the same thing… too late!

So distracted were they, that they did not register the danger approaching.

Hundreds of soldiers emerge from the tree line into the clearing! Gunner ships rise above the tree line as well surrounding them. It’s the resistance!

Ben hides behind Rey, one hand possessively across her middle, the other arm over her shoulder holding his blazing saber out defensively.

“How are they here!?” He demands.

“I didn’t contact them, I had no way to,” she pours her surprise and sincerity into him.

He just growls.

A moment later Poe and Finn approach and Rey feels like her heart is being torn in two. She wants to run to them, but she knows they’ll kill Ben in an instant and visa versa. They can’t be involved with this.

“You have to let us go,” she shouts out to them before they have a chance to speak.

Finn and Poe halt about 100 paces away. They are armed.

“You’re surrounded,” Finn shouts. “Hurt Rey and we’ll blast you into oblivion.”

“STOP,” she cries! “Don’t hurt him.”

“Rey, what is happening?” comes Poe’s level voice. “Why are you with him? Why does the First Order think you’re dead?”

“There’s too much to explain, but you have to let us go. We have a plan to bring down Hux and the First Order…”

She registers Ben’s surprise and affection at her defending their plans together, ever though he knows she’s not sure about it yet.

“Are those the lies this guy has been feeding you,” spits Finn. “Get your hands off of her you murdering bastard!”

Rey and Ben flinch, the red saber lifting higher. Poe calms Finn and pushes him back. Ben reads an interesting emotion coming from the former storm trooper. 

He whispers in her ear. “So, the traitor loves you. Should we show him where your interests truly lie?”

“If you want me to touch you ever again you’ll stop talking,” she spits back.

By the fearful look in his eyes, he takes her threat seriously. She might have laughed if they weren’t in the middle of a life and death stand-off. He was more afraid of losing her than losing his own life. And it’s that fact that gives her the confidence to finally trust him. Now to convince her friends.

“How did you find us?” Rey asks.

Poe is the one who answers. “When you asked us to leave you on that planet, I took it upon myself to sew a tracking beacon into your pack.”

Ben growls and Rey sighs.

“I know you want to save me, but you need to let us go now. We can stop the First Order once and for all…”

“How? All by yourselves? And don’t get me wrong Rey, we trust you. But we don’t trust him.”

Ben has been eyeing the situation, analyzing their position in his mind. They’re surrounded by troops and fighters, weapons locked. There is zero chance for escape if they can’t talk their way out of this. Still, something wasn’t right. Why was this pilot the one out here conducting negotiations? Where was their leader? Where was the General?

Ben whispers in her ear again.

“Ask him where the General is. Why isn’t she the one leading this rabble?”

“Where’s Leia?” Rey calls out.

Their physical demeanors instantly drop. There’s a sad tension hanging in the air. 

“She’s sick,” says Finn.

Shock shoots through Ben and Rey and she isn’t sure whose feelings they are.

“What do you mean?” But it’s Ben’s voice snarling out the question.

Poe and Finn flinch. They are among the few who know who Kylo Ren really is. They know what he did to his father. They know how precarious a family drama this is.

“She’s dying,” Poe calls out. “Space sickness from when she was sucked out of the Raddus. She’s held on this long through sheer force of will. But it won’t be long now…”

Rey can feel Ben losing his composure behind her and she is genuinely afraid. His grip tightens, his breathing is picking up, his emotions are churning. What should she do? She desperately wants to see Leia. Leia, her rock and adoptive mother. Kind, brave and resilient Leia. The Princess, the General… her _daughter?_ After her years of loneliness, had she truly found her family in another lifetime?

There’s a flurry of activity at the line of trees. There’s shouting and someone goes flying across the clearing. 

Leia, in a white medical dress robe and white hair band, is hobbling out while fighting off concerned personnel.

“Leave me be,” they hear her shout and soldiers stand down.

With a cane the General limps her way across the field.

Rey reads Ben’s shock. His eyes follow the approach of his tough-as-nails mother.

He hasn’t seen her since their tearful goodbye before being sent away with his uncle Luke 11 years ago. Hasn’t heard from her since the frantic calls after he learned from the holo-net about Vader being his grandfather. Hasn’t felt her since the attack on the Raddus when he couldn’t bring himself to pull the trigger.

She hobbles past Poe and Finn, brushing aside their attempts to stop her.

She walks all the way up to the edge of Ben’s blade.

“Was this the last view Han had? Will you end your mother too?” Leia’s voice is hard and angry.

“You’re already dead.” He says it without malice but as a matter of fact.

“And so is my son.”

Rey feels the words pierce Ben like a blaster bolt.

“Leia no…” Rey tries to interject, but Ben stops her.

“Let her speak.”

She berates him relentlessly, letting it all out.

“ …your father swore he’d always come back for you. He did. I begged him to bring you home. We loved you, we missed you. We forgave you everything. I know Snoke poisoned your mind, but the choice has always been yours Ben Solo. Your choice…”

He turns off his blade and lowers his arm.

“…a philosophy that would have you slaughter your father, and leave your mother floating through space while you slink back to your master, can’t be one that is right. You were a coward! We didn’t raise you to be a coward! Those lives you took, they all mattered! They were all good men and woman fighting to save their families! You own that blood, thing-that-was-my-son, you own it…”

Ben walks around Rey and everyone tenses. Poe and Finn pull blasters and everywhere they can hear the cocking of weapons. Leia lifts a hand, signaling them to hold their fire.

Then he falls on his knees before his tiny mother.

“I was wrong.” Three. Simple. Words.

The great and steady General, for perhaps the first time in her life, loses all her composure. Leia clings to him and he allows it, eyes closed, forehead against her belly, as silent tears stream down his face. She sobs into his hair, hitting him with weak blows of her fists, collapsing onto his shoulders.

Rey sobs and covers her mouth. Tears are running down Poe and Finn’s faces as they lower their weapons and an entire Army balks at the sight of their General embracing their ultimate enemy.

She feels so small and so weak, but her light and her warmth are what he remembers.

After a long while Leia looks up and reaches out. Rey blinks away tears and stays rooted to the spots, feeling like an intruder on this personal moment. Leia waves her over again and Rey runs into her open embrace.

“You saved my family. Now help him make it right.”

They both look up at her with children’s eyes and Leia finally feels like she can let go.

“She’s a keeper Ben. Good choice.”

Then Leia collapses and Ben scoops her up.

“Mother,“ comes his panicked whisper.

He starts marching towards Poe and Finn, the General in his arms.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” they shout! But, with a concentrated blast of the force Ben pushes them to the ground. Rey grabs Ben’s arm and walks with him towards the forest. 

“Medical craft,” Rey shouts! “Where’s the medical craft?”

Troops move around them like water around a rock, blasters drawn as they walk silently, being directed by the young girl Rey recognizes as Rose.

They walk into a wide, rectangular troop transport vessel where there’s a medical station. Ben deposits his mother on table, looks upon her a moment memorizing her face, then turns to leave. They are blocked by a wall of men with weapons.

Poe catches up and breaks through the ranks.

“Let us pass,” says Rey.

“Rey…” Poe starts.

“You heard Leia. Our mission is to make things right. We have a plan to do that. Let us pass.”

He hesitates.

“We don’t want to hurt you,” Rey adds desperately. It shocks Poe to hear she’d resort to hurting her friends in order to see her plans through.

“Let us help,” begs Finn, standing behind Poe.

“Talk to us on the shuttle,” comes Ben’s deep, even voice. “We may have use of you yet.”

“Commander,” chimes in one of the fighters. “He’s a mass murderer. A war criminal. We can’t let him go!”

”Shush!” Poe is pensive and shares a knowing look with Finn.

“For now, the enemy of my enemy is my friend. I trust Rey and I trust Leia. Come on…”

Poe leads them back through the sea of faces… her friends’ faces… many tear stained and confused.

She vows to make things right for them all.


	13. Who talks first?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my husband for taking the baby and giving me some writing and relaxing time!

 

“Who talks first?” Poe quips in the cramped common area of the shuttle.

Ben is not amused. He wishes he had been better at killing.

Poe, Finn and a handful of resistance brass from various worlds stand on one side of the room. Rey, and the man they know as Kylo Ren are on the other.

Ben begins. He offers his information on the First Order in exchange for the Resistance’s latest intelligence on their movements. Then they can work on a plan.

Rey listens but can’t focus. Her friends stand opposite her. Poe is engaged but Finn is purposefully avoiding her gaze, only occasionally glancing her way. He’s fearful and mistrustful and hurt. She can only imagine what her friends think of her now, coming back and standing beside the man they only know as a monster. Now she was a monster too.

Darth Vader. That horrid creature, was inside her. The revelation is still raw and new. No wonder she was tempted to the dark side, no wonder it felt so wonderful, no wonder she had thrown herself at Kylo Ren, taking a thrill in forcing such a powerful man to submit to her desires…

Was any of it real? Did she have a choice in any of this? Was it all a lie? Was she really a monster inside too? Could she be trusted with the future of the galaxy and of her friends? 

Rey breaks out in a cold sweat and her breathing becomes ragged. She’ s becoming dizzy and losing herself to anxiety when…

 _Breathe,_ she hears in her head.

_Just breathe._

Rey looks up and locks eyes with her brooding twin soul. He had sensed her descending into a maelstrom of doubt and anxiety beside him. Ben holds her gaze and tries to even out her panic, sending calm and warmth towards her.  

_You are Rey. I am Ben. You are the embodiment of light. I am a dark twisted thing. But not you._

_What if you’re wrong? What if I hurt everyone? What if I am a monster?_

_Your power is monstrous, but you are not a monster. Search your feelings Rey. I saw your visions. Vader chose the light in the end. You felt it, the desperation to not make the same mistakes again. To protect your family. This is your chance, do-gooder that you are, to save your friends and bring balance to the galaxy. I would gladly slaughter every person in this room, but you won’t let me._

Rey almost laughs, letting out a puff of breath from her nose. She is stunned at the thoughtfulness of his words. Both their expressions soften with affection. Was this really the same man from Star Killer Base? From Crait? Had he come this far?

They are lost in the starlight of each other’s eyes when…

“Ehem…”

_Oh._

Everyone was staring at them.

Poe had talked for a while before looking up and realizing Kylo Ren and Rey were not paying attention. They were sharing an intense gaze, nodding and making quiets sounds almost like they were having a conversation with no words… Damn that’s exactly what they were doing wasn’t it? 

Finn had noticed the sudden change in Rey immediately. She looked sick, and started breathing hard. He was about to say something when her attention snapped up to that creature Ren, and suddenly she wasn’t panicking anymore. It was like they were caught in some kind of trance.

Envy and sadness bite at him. He would never share that crazy psychic connection with her. How did he know Ren wasn’t using some Jedi mind trick on her? His first and greatest friend…

Poe finally tries to get their attention.

It takes a few “Ehems” before they snap back to reality. 

“Sorry, everyone,” Rey says, speaking her first words of the meeting. “But, Ben’s right.”

There’s an awkward silence. Then Poe speaks up.

“Ben’s right about what?”

He wouldn’t find out because as soon as the words leave his mouth Poe is flying through the air, slammed into the far wall.

“THAT NAME IS NOT FOR YOU!” Ben snarls and Rey grabs his arm.

“Stop,” she shouts.

“Whoa whoa whoa!” shout the others as they run to retrieve Poe. The startled pilot stands quickly. Several hands go towards blasters but Poe calls them off. 

“Gah! Whoa boys! Alright, alright, Ren! Ren, Mr. Kylo Ren,” he brushes off the concerned parties around him. “It’s alright boys. Let’s calm down.”

Rey shoots Ben an angry look and he looks away like the lights of the shuttle are suddenly very interesting. 

“Whoops,” he deadpans, not looking sorry in the least. What is she going to do with this man? 

Poe stays standing further away than before. He brushes himself off and tries to get things back on track. 

“Ok. So, what is Kylo Ren right about?”

An embarrassed Rey speaks again. “This is our chance to save our friends and our families and balance the force.” 

“ _HE_ said that?” Comes Poe. Ben shoots him an evil glare and Poe flinches.

Rey sighs an exasperated sigh, putting her head in her hands and thinks they have a long way to go.

—-

Hours later, talks have been tense.

Read outs are laid out on the circular center table. A holo-projector displays various First Order schematics.

More than once Rey has had to quell Ben’s anger. He never wanted to be back here, working with these people. He’d still rather kill them all. But after being confronted by his mother, he thinks maybe…this is the least he can do. He was wrong. He was man enough to admit it. He could see the folly now. Serving solely the dark side left him incomplete, when he should have been pulling strength from both sides of the force. He had allowed Snoke to manipulate him and sabotage his family…all falling into Snoke’s personal plans for domination. Well, he was done being used for his power. And while there was no hope of forgiveness for the crimes of his past, It was time to shape his glorious destiny. The one he knew he was always meant for.

It would take allies to make it right. And if luck was on his side, maybe some of the scum he loathed so much would fall in the battle anyways.

They’ve agreed that they’ll have better odds if the First Order is inundated from multiple fronts, but there’s only so much they can decide before Ren meets with his Knights.

A rough plan involves Ren, the Knights and Rey infiltrating Hux’s command ship, while the resistance creates a diversion.

“His ego will be his downfall,” says Ben clinically. “Serve his ego and we will be able to enter his inner circle.”

“With permission,” a representative from Naboo steps forward. He’s a tall, older man, dressed in regal military regalia and sporting a complicated twisted beard and mustache. Nikai Bastian is his name. “I think we may have an idea for that.”

Ben nods.

“You say this man wants prestige. What could be more prestigious than being royalty? We offer him our Queen as a condition of surrender. We could wax on about how we’d break thousands of years of tradition, so his heirs could inherit the planet. There would be a marriage ceremony and that could be the kind of event where we manipulate and plant our pieces.”

Rey jumps in. “You would put your Queen in harms way? Wouldn’t that be an added headache to keep her safe?”

“I don’t think that will be a problem,” Bastian says with a smile.

“Why?”

“Because she’s standing right here.”

Rey looks left, then right, then looks up and sees all eyes on her.

“ME!?”

“It would get you as close as possible to him,” says Bastian as he puffs out his chest and twirls his mustache. “Your make up would be elaborate, you would be unrecognizable.” 

“You want me to pretend to marry Hux!?” Rey can’t hide the disgust from her face.

She turns to Ben and feels him vacillating between fury and intrigue. 

Then Bastian adds the clincher.

“She could hide her Jedi weapon in the bouquet.”

She feels it and sees it in his eyes. That seals the deal for Ben.

“I could slice him in half during the vows,” she says melodically.

“You need to save some for me,” Ben murmurs back, sparkles in his eyes.

“Hmm. You choke him, then I slice him in half. How does that sound?”

“Romantic,” Ben says, the corner of his mouth twitching up in a half smile.

Rey giggles at the unexpected response. Then looks back across the table.

Comical expressions of disgust and discomfort play on the features of the assembled resistance personnel. She stifles her laughs quickly, “Sorry.”

A seething jealousy rolls in Finn’s chest.

“Back to the matter at hand,” says a visibly uncomfortable Poe, “It could work. It sounds like a great way to surround Hux with enemies. Then Ren, are you sure the knights can be counted upon.” 

“They will play their part,” he offers simply.

“And you meet with them soon?”

“I’ve changed the time and place of our rendezvous, generously, as to avoid them slaughtering you all. You’re welcome.”

Uncomfortable silence from the resistance side.

“And what about after?” Finn finally speaks, addressing the elephant in the room. (Well, one of the elephants)

“After Hux is dead, what then? Do you take up the mantel of Supreme Leader again? Do we all die fools for helping you?”

A tense silence follows. Rey herself doesn’t know the answer.

Ben picks his next words carefully.

“Rey and I represent the future of the galaxy. She and I will play equal roles. I, the arm of order and military might. She, the hand of governance and democracy. Let the First Order crumble and lawlessness, disorder and economic collapse will follow. Another dark power will rise in its place. But together, Rey and I will bring security AND peace. Appeal to her and she will represent your interests.”

Everyone, including Rey, looks at him.

“What are you saying?” asks Finn. “What do you mean?” 

“A constitutional…monarchy?” Chimes in Bastian.

“In a manner,” says Ben.

“We have something similar on Naboo. It could work.”

“And In the future,” Rey adds, drawing Ben’s dark curious gaze, “We will train a new generation of Jedi to be balanced practitioners of both light and dark. A new order dedicated to a middle way, and protecting balance.”

There’s surprise and pride in his eyes.

“And, you expect us to accept this? Why?” Finn is still not buying it. 

“The alternatives are far worse. I offer you a truce, and a promise to negotiate conditions for a future as I have described.”

“And if we don’t accept?”

“I could kill you all now. Every one of you. With a thought. You’d be dead, and we’d fly off before anyone knew the difference. But I offer you a chance to live and a chance at a future relevant to your interests.”

“Rey,” comes Finn’s bald personal appeal and her heart clenches in her chest. “This isn’t like you. You don’t want to be some galactic overlord. You aren’t him.”

“I’m not, and I don’t. But, if my power can bring peace and end the war, I have to try. I know it sounds crazy, but I am a tool of the cosmic force. We both are. I know it’s hard to understand and there’s too much to explain, but… I _HAVE_ to fix this, it’s my responsibility.

“Rey..”

“Listen, this conflict, it’s never ending. The light wins, then the dark, then the light, then the dark. It will never end unless we do something different, unless we try something new. Do you understand…”

Finn stays quiet a moment. “And what if he betrays you?”

Ben and Rey look at each other. And answer at the same time.

“I’ll stop him.”

“She’ll stop me.”

And slowly, Finn’s skepticism begins to wane, if only slightly. Something is happening here, it feels like magic, a monumental event. He only wishes it didn’t have to take his friend away from him.

There’s a murmuring Among the assembled generals and diplomats. Bastion speaks again.

”You’re grandmother was among the most beloved Queens in Naboo’s history. She saved our world and brought peace and prosperity. Governance and victory are in your blood. We agree to your terms and will lend assistance in the coming battle. In exchange, we require assurances that you Will honor Naboo’s peace and Autonomy that your ancestors so hard fought won.”

Ben nods and Ray smiles.

“Poe?” Rey asks.

“I will agree on one condition.”

They wait for him to go on.

“Rey stays with us. If you betray us, or things go south with the knights, we need Rey to defend us. We follow the plan, infiltrate on multiple fronts… She will go with the delegation from Naboo to be prepared to be delivered. We’ll meet you and the knights at the ceremony.”

—-

Night has fallen by the time the delegation leaves the shuttle. Finn hangs back at the base of the ramp and Rey walks to him. 

She looks back where a brooding Ben is hovering.

 _I need to talk to my friend._ She thinks at him. 

He huffs angrily. Ben considers staying, but he needs to make contact with the Knights. He stalks off back into the shuttle, making sure she feels his disapproval.

Rey just shakes her head and looks back at Finn. 

“I told you there was light in him,” she says with a sad smile.

“No, There’s light in You. It’s infectious.” They smile and look down at the floor. Finn speaks again. “I thought you were a gonner…”

“I thought I was too…”

“Rey, you have to help me understand this. Ren, I’ve seen him operate, I’ve seen him slaughter countless people. We watched him murder Solo, and he almost killed me. What changed?”

So, she launches into the story, starting when they met on Gallanco. Several details are omitted, like the fact that they were naked in the spring. She keeps the Padme and Anakin part to herself too, and well, the kiss and…everything else. She just can’t bring herself to break his heart like that. She speaks vaguely about the visions she had, about them both being tools of the force… and him changing.

Finn digs for more but Rey’s done talking.

“I can’t believe you’ve been on here for nearly a week with that guy. Where do you sleep?”

“Crew cabin down the hall in a cot,” she lies.

“Are you eating?”

“Oh, Ben is a fabulous cook…” then she stops, looking at him a little horrified.

Finn looks like a purple dinosaur just sprung from her head.

“It is odd huh? He’s like a world class chef. He spent a lot of time with a kitchen droid growing up. I’ve eaten better in the last few days than most people do in a lifetime!”

 _So that’s how he got her,_ Finn thinks.

“Rey… has he, tried anything funny? Like, I’m worried, as a friend. Alone with a dangerous man like that. You should stay with us tonight.”

“NO,” she answers fast and firm.

Finn just blinks, obviously wounded.

“If I leave, there’s likely to be an attempt on his life,” she tries to recover. “We’re all leaving in a few standard hours anyway.“

“Rey, are you really deciding this? We can help you get free,” he whispers.

“I am free Finn,” she smiles a small smile and puts her hand on his shoulder. “This is the path I’m choosing. You know me. You know my heart. I want to bring this war to and end.” 

Finn finally smiles a real smile.

“I know you Rey. But I also know him, that’s why I’m scared. He’ll do whatever it takes to get what he wants…”

“You knew Kylo Ren, Finn. He’s not that anymore. I mean, he’d still love to kill you all, and he’s still pretty dark, but… I just, I can’t explain it. You have to see it, you have to feel it.” 

“Yeah, I don’t read minds.”

“It’s not always so great.”

“This is really weird,” he laughs. When he met Rey she was just a scavenger. Now she’s set to become some galactic savior. 

“Take care of yourself Rey,” Finn says sincerely.

“You too my friend.”

They share a long hug and he departs back to the rebellion encampment.

With a sigh she locks down the shuttle ensuring the shields are up. There’s a short time to sleep and she wants to spent that time in Ben’s arms.

—-

They don’t speak.

Too much has happened, and too much is to come.

They just hold each other, stroking each others scars until they fall into a short, deep sleep. 

In the morning Rey runs her fingers through his raven locks and he devours her with his eyes, memorizing every detail. He pulls her to his chest and they embrace, neither wanting to let go. But their mission and their destinies are calling.

Ben tears himself away and they both feel cold. He dresses in his full battle garb and she dons a white tunic, beige pants, her belt, vest and staff saber. (Clothes given by the rebels)

They descend the ramp together. 

—-

They spend hours coordinating with the rebels before it’s time for Ben to take off and rendezvous with his knights.

After one particularly contentious meeting, BEn pulls Bastian down an empty corridor and the Naboo dignitary looks terrified. 

“I have a request,” Ben says with  menace in his voice.

...

Bastian breathes his relief as Ren departs. He’s thankful to be alive, and Ren has made it clear if he wants to stay breathing he would do well to fulfill his request.

Bastian is not one for gossip. His life depends on his disgression. But he thinks that if everything goes according to plan, this will be the talk of the galaxy. 

——

The moment to part ways comes faster than either anticipated.

Actually, neither had truly thought about the fact that they would be apart, so wrapped up had they been in creating their plans. 

Rey was still upset that Ben had contacted his knights behind her back, and he still resented her connection to this despicable rabble. Yet as he walks back up the ramp in his full black garb, and she halts at the foot of it, the realization hits both of them hard.

He halts and looks down at her with intense dark eyes and Rey looks up at him, defiance on her face but fear and heartbreak in her chest.

After everything that’s happened between them, everything yet to come, what do they do? If things go wrong, this could be the last time they ever see each other.

Ben looks behind her and sees a contingent of rebels. They all stake a claim to his Rey. She is their champion when he just wants her to be his. Ben loathes it, and thinks that she probably wants to avoid a spectacle that would jeopardize their confidence in her.

He thinks she’d rather not taint her image by acknowledging what happened between them and it hurts his heart and spurs his ire. Ben turns away from her set on taking off without so much as a goodbye…

 _Kriffin idiot!_ She thinks.

He’s stopped by a hand on the collar of his robes.

Rey has sprinted up the ramp, grabbing and spinning him around to her. He can feel her anger, and feel all the eyes upon them.

Their expressions seem fierce but only they can feel the chaos of emotions between them, the push and pull of anger and admiration, affection and sadness.

“Don’t. Die.” Rey forces out. Then she stands on her tip toes and plants a kiss on his cheek.

Ben’s eyes soften, searching hers. His whole demeanor shifts and hums with relief. He relishes the sudden hush and shock he reads from the dozens of rebels who have halted around them.

So, she’s not ashamed of him after all.

A twinge of the beginnings of a smile pulls at the corner of his lips. Their shared gaze doesn’t waver. Rey’s chest is tight and it’s taking all her focus not to break down in tears. She meant what she said on the shuttle, she won’t leave him and she doesn’t want him to leave her.

But they have a plan that could work. They have to play their parts and that means parting ways here, for now.

Ben feels it. Even if she won’t say it. Even if he won’t say it. She loves him and he loves her.

Since they have an audience, Ben thinks it wise to remove any ambiguity about the nature of their relationship. He leans down and captures her lips in a warm, slow kiss. He wills his feelings to reach her and she gasps, tears finally falling from her eyes.

“Come back,” she chokes out.

Ben runs a gloved finger along her jaw, savoring the sight of her lovely face.

“I’ll come back for you sweetheart. I promise.”

With that he turns and marches away.


	14. "I'll come back for you sweetheart, I promise"

“I’ll come back for you sweetheart, I promise”

Rey stands rooted to the spot in awe. The words she’d told herself all her life had just been spoken back to her and she knows this is her destiny.

The words she thought she had invented for herself, were actually a picture of the future. This future. Maz was right. All of it was right.

Rey stands as she watches the shuttle ascend carrying away the man who is her sense of belonging. She lifts an arm as dust blows through her hair, whipping her clothes. She shields her eyes from the sun, watching the shuttle until it vanishes as a speck in the sky. She feels his warmth in her chest, getting further away and she wraps her arms around herself suddenly cold.

Finn watches Rey as she stands, debating whether to approach his friend.

He saw the kiss and he’s still reeling, hit with a blank shock and he doesn’t know how to think or feel. Then he remembers how Rose, sweet as she is, kissed him in the heat of battle. There was still a confusing, on-again, off-again affectionate thing between them. But honestly Finn didn’t even know what relationships of that kind entailed. He was still so innocent and new at everything and the First Order certainly didn’t permit fraternizing between troopers.

Maybe this was the same? Maybe this kiss was in the heat of the moment and Rey is confused?

He takes a deep breath and walks up beside her, standing silently as Rey continues to look to the horizon. Finn clears his throat.

“So, you and him…”

She just nods, eyes still on the sky.

“Was that the first time he… you know…” Getting nervous, Finn makes little fists with his hands, shaping his thumbs like mouths and pushing them together miming the action of kissing.

Rey looks at him, smiles and shakes her head.

“Oh,” says Finn. Well, there goes that theory. He’s sort of terrified to ask anything else but he’s also curious and concerned.

“So, you’ve been… like, like doing that stuff… in between the uh, the uh, everything else?”

Rey raises and eyebrow in amusement and walks back towards the encampment.

“Come on,” she says.

Finn is left with his mouth open. He runs after her a moment later, still stuttering.

“Because, you can trust me Rey! I’m your friend, I know this is all… like, overwhelming, and…scary, and…”

Rey stops in her tracks and Finn almost crashes into her. The next moment she’s spinning around, throwing her arms around his neck.

“Thank you for worrying about me,” she says into his shoulder. “I thought you’d hate me.”

Finn grabs her by the shoulders, pushing her back and looking her in the eye.

“I could never hate you Rey. I’m not going to pretend I understand any of this, but I am your ally… And if he hurts you, I’ll help you kill him, ok?”

Rey laughs and nods. Then Finn gets serious.

“But, not everyone is like me. Rey, a lot of people hate him and don’t trust him. They’re worried about the plan and about the truce. You have to help us all understand, ok? Some people want to defect because of it. Others want to use this as an opportunity to kill him…”

The color drains from Rey’s face and Finn shuts his mouth. Maybe he’s shared too much, but it’s the truth and she needs to be prepared. Few people have bought into this redeemed Kylo Ren, and they’re angry enough to kill him and Rey. 

“Look, let’s get something to eat,” Finn says squeezing her shoulder. “We’ll talk about everything over some hot rations.”

…

Around the round table of the Falcon sit Poe, Finn, Rose and Rey. They take the chance for an intimate talk, before they face the greater resistance to execute their plans.

“When did you know he had changed?” Rose asks sincerely.

“On Ach-to really. He comforted me through our force connection when Luke rejected me, and he told me I wasn’t alone. He felt abandoned by his family too. I learned that Luke tried to murder him in his sleep when he was a young man at the Jedi Academy.”

There’s a small collective gasp around the table.

“Why would he try to kill his nephew? Leia’s son?” Comes a shocked Poe.

“Because he feared his power. Luke saw what he could become and thought he could stop it.”

“I wonder if Leia knows…” Poe thinks out loud.

“He’s been manipulated by Snoke from the day he was born. Leia and Han loved him but didn’t know what to do to help him with his power or the voices in his head.”

“But, that doesn’t excuse everything he’s done since. He has an awful lot of blood on his hands. Just being honest,” Finn says calmly, putting his hands up. “People aren’t ready to forgive him.”

“He got lost,” says Rey. “He got pushed over the edge. But we found each other and like I said, I was able to heal his mind a little back on that planet. Snoke’s voice is gone from his head and he knows now that the answer lies in the middle. All they have to do is give us a chance to prove it.”

Her trio of friends share nervous looks.

“It’s a lot to ask people to put their lives on the line to give Kylo Ren a second chance,” Poe tries to say delicately.

Rey sighs and thinks about this. He’s right of course. But there must be a way to get people to understand. Then she has an idea.

“First things first, stop calling him Kylo Ren. He’s Ben Solo, General Leia’s son. He’s back after helping me kill Snoke, the man who’s manipulated and controlled him all his life.”

“But he’ll kill anyone who calls him Ben!” Cries Finn pointing at Poe who rubs the back of his neck, still sore from being force thrown against a wall.

“I’ll work with him on that…”

They all chuckle nervously.

“People need to know the truth,” Rey goes on. “He killed Snoke to save me, the last Jedi. He was deposed because Hux found out. And now he wants to destroy Hux and use the First Order to restore Democracy and freedom to the galaxy via this transitional constitutional monarchy or whatever…details to be ironed out…” Her passionate plea fizzles as she realizes she’s not one for politics. She’ll need to figure that out quickly too.

“We need those details…” says Rose, urgency in her voice.

Finn thinks a moment then speaks.

“Well, the good news is all the worlds will be involved in those talks right? That’s the point. After all of this, the leaders will get together and work out a deal that works for everyone. No more war, just, what’s that word…”

“Diplomacy?” Poe adds.

“Yeah! Yeah, that. Diplomacy. That’s the promise we got. Meanwhile, the First Order stops it’s advance. It’s the best we’re going to do. Like he said, otherwise, the power vacuum could make things worse.”

“But how do we get everyone to see it?” Asks Rey concerned.

“If I hadn’t seen him fall to his knees before Leia myself I would never have believed it,” says Poe shaking his head. “We’ll do our part to convince the other leaders and troops.”

He puts a hand on the table urging everyone to add their hands on top.

“There’s a lot of work to do gang. Let’s get started.”

Woah! They lift their hands up together smiling and laughing and Rey feels that glimmer of hope growing and spreading from heart to heart.

“And if he betrays us we’ll just blow him up.”

“POE!” They shout laughing. “What?” he asks in mock defense.

Her friends are more at ease, talking plans and figures. But under her smile, Rey makes note, that Ben’s life is at risk. One wrong move, with either the resistance or his knights could spell the end of her partner. She swallows her dread, determination flashing in her eyes.  _But this is the best shot we’ve got._  

—-

A communication comes shortly after. The First Order is considering Naboo’s terms of surrender, including the matrimony. Soldiers run to and fro as they all prepare to depart for the idealic planet.

Rey wanders back to the medical unit where Leia lays unconscious. Rey has been assigned two body guards, who she suspects are there to protect everyone from her as much as they are to protect her from anyone else. It’s a dark feeling, knowing people are suspicious and angry.

Rey grasps Leia’s hand as they begin their ascent.

She hopes that she’s not too late to save… her family.

—-

There is hustle and bustle in the organized chaos that follows the resistance’s arrival on Naboo.

Rey stands over a balcony of the royal palace looking over the manicured gardens, lakes, fountains and sumptuous décor of the gold and stone castle. Blooming flowers creep on vines around nearly every structure, filling the halls and patios with lush colors and sweet scents.

She’s seen so many beautiful things since leaving Jakku. Rey wishes she could bottle it up and carry this beauty with her wherever she goes. 

She’s finally led to a private suite within the royal palace where she can sleep. The room is… _wow_. A giant four poster bed is the centerpiece. It has delicate white fabric draped over the top, dangling over red and gold comforters. There are more pillows than she can count. The walls are an ancient and elegant décor, everything red and gold and green. French doors lead to a balcony over looking the immaculate grounds, that are now playing host to the rebel encampment.

She needs to be ready in the morning to begin her royal training if she’s going to impersonate the queen. Her. A desert rat.

Rey is fussing with her hair nervously, overwhelmed by the luxury of it all when she feels that tell-tale tug in her chest. The sound flees the room and then… he’s there.

Wearing just arm bands and black slacks, Ben is all chest and abs and sensitive eyes. There’s that cut of muscles pointing down like and arrow below the band of his pants to that bulge just under the surface and her stomach swoops in that weird way that it only does around him.

He had been preparing for bed too. 

Ben approaches his Rey slowly and she fills her eyes with all of him. His dark, brooding presence sends her hairs on end, and there’s electricity as he brushes her bare shoulder with the lightest touch.

There are no words. Their fingers do the talking.

With brushing touches Rey burns a path down his chest, over his abs… then jumps down to his knees with her fingers, running them up his thighs and across his crotch. Ben throws his head back with a groan.

He returns fire with his own hands. He’s going up her arms, then down her throat and over her chest. Rey arcs towards him, shuttering and tingling, longing for a firmer touch from across the stars, but he denies her. 

A feather light kiss on the corner of her mouth makes Rey whine with want.

“Ahh, patience young one,” he rumbles.

To Hutt with that. She wants him. NOW.

Rey steps back and begins to remove her clothes. Her belt falls to her feet and her tunic flies over her head, but when Ben reaches out a hand to touch her, she slaps it away.

“Patience,  _teacher_ ,” she says with a bite in her voice and he thinks he’s going to lose his mind it’s so hot.

She goes on, painfully slowly, until she’s down to just her beige capris and her armbands also. “Now we match.” Her humble, supple breasts rise and fall, so much smaller than the wide expanse of his broad, muscular form. A cute look of defiance plays on her face.

Ben’s done waiting.

He’s on her with his soft luscious mouth and his hot hands wrapping her up in a desperate embrace. She clumsily leads them back to the heavenly silk bed where they fall with a laugh and a moan.

Eager hands fumble through the remaining clothing, hands sliding down under waist bands, rubbing, stroking, grabbing, desperation rising! They tear each others pants away and soon they’re one again. A hard, hot heat ravages Rey’s core… as flashes of the universe light the theater behind their eyelids.

—-

After, they lay side by side, Ben up on an elbow, the other arm wrapped around her waist, looking over a pensive Rey who plays with his hair. He gulps at the intensity of his adoration, his heart racing at her smile.

“Is it really going to work?” Rey asks almost more to herself.

“Yes,” is all he says.

“When do you meet them?”

“10 standard hours from now.”

“Don’t die,” she says again.

He lets out a short chuckle.

“Don’t worry about me.”

“Right, you’re making that hard to do.”

“Hmm,” he hums, nuzzling her neck. “You’re the one making things hard.”

She hits him and he leans back with a smile on his face.

“I like that.”

“Hmm?”

“Your smile. I like it.”

He quickly frowns and looks down, flush on his cheeks.

“What? That makes you shy and what we did just now doesn’t?”

Ben shrugs making a deep noncommittal sound.

“I want to make you smile more. I want your smile for always.”

Ben’s heart can’t take it. He collapses onto her, nuzzling into her neck, letting her stroke his hair and his back. Cuddling in the safety of each other, they fall asleep.

—-

When Rey wakes up it’s still dark and she’s alone.

Their night together feels almost like a dream. Almost. Looking down at her wrist she can see a bruise in the shape of a thumb print from when he held her hands above her head. She rubs her wrist and holds it to her heart.

At the first sunlight, attendants come bursting into Rey’s room.

There’s news! Naboo has received communication that there is tentative approval for the match! Rey is hauled out of bed nude and confused. She covers her chest as the little women, not phased in the least, begin to dress her and push her out the door.

There’s much to do to prepare before the wedding and the downfall of Hux.

—-

In a long, elegant dressing chamber, eager royal aids are draping Rey with the most sumptuous fabrics she has ever seen, gushing over how lovely she’ll look in her gown.

“You know this is not a real wedding…” Rey laughs with a bit of exasperation in her voice.

“You will be a vision to behold!” Pipes up a tiny tailor. The little bearded man in an impeccable green suit busies himself with more measurements.

“I need to be able to fight in this,” she says firmly.

The tailor bristles at the idea, tutting as he makes notes on a little clipboard.

“We’ll make the necessary modifications young lady. That doesn’t mean it won’t be a work of art!”

Rey laughs at his fervor.

An hour later she truly is a sight to behold. There are still pins and extra hanging fabric but the outline of the gown is magnificent. They resemble robes of white, red and gold with a wide embroidered belt wrapped tightly around her tiny middle. The dress flows out with layers of bold color into a long train. The sleeves become wider as they approach her wrists. The fabric is secured to her hand with thin gold chains that attach to her fingers.

On her head is a magnificent headdress, also of white, gold and red, with hanging white gems and jewels that sparkle. Some light makeup is applied to try to get the full effect. The tailor and the aids stand back smiling obviously pleased with their work.

Rey doesn’t recognize herself in the mirror. She could have never imagined looking this way… _like a queen_ … Her fingers are tracing the fabric in wonder, looking with some insecurity at the unrecognizable version of herself when… she feels the bond tugging in her chest!

_He’s coming!_

Rey rushes the people from the room, begging for some private time. She’s just closed the door when the sound is sucked away and the fiery electricity of his being is with her. 

She turns slowly and sees him standing, black and hooded in the center of the room. He must be speaking with his knights. They make eye contact and whatever words he was speaking to them fall away.

Any insecurity she had about pulling off this look melts away at the shock she sees in Ben’s eyes.

Rey picks up the fabric, walking slowly towards him. His wide eyes don’t leave her for a moment. She circles her love who stands looking every bit like the dark monster she once knew him to be. And she, his siren of light.

“Master?” she hears. The knights are around him. She can’t see them but she can hear them. They watch their master as he’s captivated, his eyes following something that isn’t there.

“Excellent timing,” Ben finally says. He removes a glove and extends a hand towards her. Rey takes it and instantly she appears before them. She hears soft gasps and looks down, seeing translucent men in helmets and dark armor kneeling before them in a semi-circle. Their connection is growing stronger if she can see his surroundings.

”This is your Queen,” announces their Master. 

They stand and her heart pounds. She’s never met other force users besides Ben, let along the most ruthless and deadly in the galaxy. She remembers her vision from when she first touched Luke’s lightsaber and instantly she recognizes them all. Ben squeezes her hand, imbuing her with strength. 

One particularly broad one steps forward. He has a hammer on his belt and a metal helmet with a red vison on his head.

“Why should we accept her, this, your Rey of light?” His voice is like gravel and his intent deadly.

Silence and tension fill the clearing and an icy fear goes down Rey’s spine. So she was right, they would not be easily swayed.

Ben growls and she can feels rage building in his chest.

“She reeks of weakness, of sentimentality and…” he sniffs at the air like an animal, then there’s dark scorn in his tone, “recent carnal indulgence. Both of you. You bring us your mate and demand we accept her authority?”  

“Jealousy is an ugly sentiment Calo,” Ben says low and dangerous.

“You expect us to not question when you tell us you cut down Snoke…”

Anger flows from Ben’s hand across her body and back. An odd sensation is building. Along with their rage and desire to protect, it feels like negative and positive charges sparking between her aura and his.

“…has our master gone weak and sentimental? Should we cut you down too? Why should we fight for this Jedi desert bitch…”

He must be the dumbest Knight.

The others take a step back as the word ‘bitch’ leaves his mouth. Rightfully so, because it’s like the match that ignites the powder keg of energy building between their Master and his Queen. They feel themselves tapping into an infinite well of power in the force, and out of their fingers scream blue and white lightening! 

Calo crumbles and screams! But Ben and Rey are relentless, a strange joy and thrill of power fills them both as they unleash their blinding assault on the enemy knight, frying him until he is nothing but smoldering embers among scorched earth. 

They call the power back and stand strong together.

The others fall to their knees. Admiration and smiles on their half hooded features. Now, that is a power they would like to learn. 

“All those who seek whole wisdom may continue to serve us. Would anyone one else care to object?”

None do. Their master is still strong and obviously endowed with certain secrets and wisdom that surpass those of dead Supreme Leader Snoke. The weak fall, the strong rise, they respect that.

Ben smirks and turns to Rey who’s eyes are wide as she examines the hand that just unleashed that incredible power. She meets his gaze and they marvel at each other, squeezing their still clasped hands. 

“We have a celebration to attend,” he says huskily, bringing his lips to her fingers. She feels the ghost of his kiss on her knuckles as he lets go and vanishes. 

She’s back in the dressing chamber, surrounded by opulence, heart racing with wonder. 


	15. in a daze

Rey wanders the halls of the castle in a daze.

She stares at her shaking hands, from which power like she’s never known, had erupted so spectacularly. How was it possible? How had she and Ben called upon and wielded such energy… from across the galaxy?

The tailor and seamstresses had released her back in her usual attire - a sandy sleeveless top and beige capris, with her belt holding her holster and lightsaber. Her hair remains in an elegant braid and light make up highlights her already lovely features.

Poe comes marching around the corner and is taking a back a moment. He sees Rey, looking as beautiful as he’s ever seen her and laments that she seems so attached to their former enemy Kylo Ren. He had heard about the kiss and it startled him stupid. Two of the most powerful women he knew were now vouching for that man, and he truly hopes that Ren is indeed redeemable. If not, they’re all in for a spectacular ending.

Poe calls out to Rey, but she doesn’t respond. She’s staring at her hands looking scared and he knows something isn’t right.

He jogs up to her and puts his hands on her shoulders.

“Rey, are you ok?”

She’s not ok.

Wielding that power had felt so wonderful. It was vast and limitless and eager to bend to her will.  She longs to feel it in her fingertips again and Rey begins to doubt whether she can control the growing thirst for power within her. Was she losing who she was? What would it mean for her friends?

Poe shakes her out of her dark thoughts.

“Hey! Kid, what’s going on? Snap out of it.”

“Poe,” she whispers and nearly tackles him with a fierce hug.

 _Oomf_. He feels like she’s going to crack his ribs with the strength of her embrace and he pats her awkwardly on the back as he struggles to breathe. Poe feels like a peon compared to her strength.

“It’s alright…”

“I don’t want to change,” Rey blurts out.

Poe is so confused. Comforting women has never been his forte, much less with reduced blood making it to his brain.

“Who said you had to change? Rey, you are good and strong and you love your friends. You don’t have to change for anything or anyone, alright?”

Rey finally loosens her grip and Poe takes the opportunity to slide out of her grasp, take a deep breath and put his hands back on her shoulders.

“You control your own destiny. No one else. Not me. Not Kylo Ren. You. Don’t let anyone else try to tell you who you are. You know that, in your heart, and you’re strong enough to protect it.”

Rey’s eyes finally look up and meet his.

“And we need you to protect us. The resistance and the people are putting their faith in you, because of who you are. Please don’t change that.”

Confidence is returning to her gaze and she straightens her shoulders back up.

“Thank you, Poe. I needed to hear that.”

He smiles his charismatic smile and pats her shoulder in relief.

“Anytime kid. Now, let’s get back to the war room.”

Rey nods and walks ahead while Poe turns and follows, rubbing what he knows will be some good bruising on his ribs later tonight. He doesn’t know who’s more dangerous, the Jedi who hates him or the Jedi who hugs him.

—-

Weeks go by and the force does not connect Rey to Ben.

It’s easy to distract herself during the day. Painstaking planning is going into how resistance fighters will get into the ceremony. Fighters will replace members of the Naboo diplomatic delegation, and stand in for handmaidens and other aids. Everyone will be playing a role, down to the wedding officiator. And all of them will have hidden weapons. It’s new tech, undetectable collapsible carbon blasters and energy batons shoved into tall floral arrangements. Once mayhem is unleashed at the ceremony, Naboo’s entire armada will attack, joined soon after by resistance forces standing by on other nearby worlds.

Then, in the confusion of the assault, Ren and his Knights will take down and seize control of the Order from the inside. If all goes to plan, they could win. All this war could finally be over and peace talks would begin…

Hope is growing. Rey can feel it. People are warming up to the idea of peace talks with Kylo Ren, of a transitional constitutional monarchy similar to Naboo’s with elected rulers and a Galactic Senate. Rey’s days are busy and exciting, but at night…

She realizes how dependent she’s become on Ben’s presence in such a short time. Sleep is nearly impossible without him by her side… and she imagines, wherever he is, deep undercover on his mission to infiltrate the First Order, that Ben must be suffering too.

She’s tired and agitated and lonely but she puts a brave face on for her friends.

It’s been three weeks since she used force lightening to help Ben kill a disloyal Knight of Ren and Rey has cemented her determination to not let it change who she is. No matter the strength of the draw to power she felt, she has the choice to control it. It was also apparent to her that this power was only accessible when the two of them were together. She could feel it. It required her positive spirit and his negative one. If she was going to help lead the resistance to victory and freedom, she would have to steel her resolve and her mental resilience.

Rey spends her days meditating, in war meetings and sitting beside Leia’s bed, recounting as many stories as she can about life and Ben and their plans for the future. Sometimes Leia has enough strength to smile and squeeze her hands, but most often she sleeps.

It’s on one such morning, while Rey is gushing to Leia about Ben’s cooking skills and Leia offers her a bleary but sparkling wink, that the commanders in charge of the mission come bursting into the medical suite.

“Rey, we need you. Now.”

A new communication from the First Order has just come in.

Rey knows this is the gravest of matters when she sweeps into the war room and finds Queen Guapay herself standing at the end of the table. She’s in a simpler, black and gold gown, her hair in huge braids creating the illusion of a crown on her head and her make up seemingly rushed. She’s surrounded by her royal handmaidens.

One of the commanders begins the briefing.

“Supreme Commander Hux is demanding to _examine_ his Queen before the ceremony…” the old puffed up commander clears his throat uncomfortably as worried whispers fill the room.

“He also wants to make it clear to the government of Naboo that she will not be his only Queen. That the Supreme Commander intends to take many Queens and build a dynasty where his offspring rule over multiple worlds.”

“This is outrageous,” shouts Finn.

“He’s delusional,” pipes in another.

The commander goes on. “They’ve made it painfully clear in this communication that if we refuse to allow him to inspect his bride ahead of the ceremony that everything will be called off and an invasion will immediately follow.”

“That sick bastard,” Poe roars pounding his fist on a desk.

“Can’t we just accelerate our plans?” Rey speaks up, “I’ll just go and kill him now.”

“No.” It’s Nikai Bastian again. “We don’t have the people in place to support sending you now. You’d be totally alone with no backup or reinforcements and we don’t know where Ren is. We simply can’t risk sending you right now. However, though it is highly unusual, we also cannot risk refusing. We must comply in order for the plan to move forward…”

“But…” Rey jumps in, but she’s cut off by a small strong voice.

“I volunteer!”

All eyes fall on one of the Queen’s handmaidens. Marigold, a young woman Rey’s age with yellow hair and green eyes like the Queen steps forward. “I will go in place of the Queen. It will be my honor.”

“NO!” Rey shouts knowing what it would mean, but she’s cut off again, this time by Queen Guapay herself.

“Jedi Rey. Our mission, if completed, will end a galactic war and bring freedom to all. In order for the plan to work, we all must play our parts. Marigold chooses to make her sacrifice now. She will be honored and live a luxurious life of retirement after this.” 

The Queen locks eyes with Rey who is barely containing her tears of rage.

“Do not fear Jedi. We will care for her. But getting you in position to destroy the First Order once and for all, is paramount. We are all warriors here, do not pity us. But allow us to fight in every way that we can to preserve our surprise attack.”

There’s a long silence in the war room.

Finally, Rey nods.

She’s feeling sick. As the men and women resume talking about the latest turn of events, Rey excuses herself and runs into the hall. She barely makes it to a waste receptacle before she vomits. The thought of the red headed Hux ravaging that poor young girl against her will has her insides churning with anger and frustration and disgust.   _Why isn’t there anything I can do?_

Then she feels it. Ben is near her in the force again. Rey whips around so quickly that her stomach lurches.

She dives back for the trash receptacle again, heaving into it as Ben’s feet materialize before her.

She registers his surprise and concern, but it’s her who’s surprised when she finally looks up.

Ben is covered head to toe in a heavy black cloak, nothing shows but his fierce eyes that are now wide as he regards her hunched over on the floor. He stands rigid and unmoving, obviously in a place where he must be quiet. This does not appear to be a good time.

_You’re ill._

His deep, echoing voice materializes in her mind, but she notices he does not speak.

Simultaneous fear and relief sweep through her. Relief that he’s alive and with her. Fear that he’s obviously in danger. She thinks back at him.

_It’s Hux. He wants to give his Queen a test run before the wedding. Some young girl is going to be a sacrifice to protect the plan. The thought of it… made me sick._

_Do what must be done. We’re close. Tell the rabble, we’ll be in place soon._

Rey gags and only just stops herself from vomiting again. She can’t remember the last time she felt so sick.

Suddenly she registers a swoop of fear that isn’t her own. Her eyes fly up to Ben’s but as suddenly as she felt it, now she only reads calm.

_What’s happening?_

_Nothing._ He reassures through the connection. _I must go but know this. Every pain he inflicts, we will return ten-fold._

And he’s gone. Rey stands, her determination renewed as she runs back into the war room to let them know Ben and the Knights are nearly in place.

…

In the bowels of the Supremacy, Ben is lying in wait for the moment to strike against the Attendants. The sudden connection with Rey throws him off guard, but it’s her condition that really threatens his composure. He schools his fear in time so as not to worry her, but Ben is left shaken once their bond closes.

He must concentrate on the task at hand, if they’re all to survive.

He does not wish to confirm his suspicion about the true nature of Rey’s illness. Not now. He can’t. He remembers Snoke’s throne room, when he knew the difference between life and death depended on him making Snoke believe that he was about to strike down Rey. He had almost chanted it in his mind, filled himself with the intent to kill and channeled it towards her. The ruse worked, Snoke was tricked, and fell because of it.

Now he needs to do that again. He needs to push Rey and everything else out of his mind.

If they were going to have any future together at all, a future where all things were possible, he was going to need all of his focus and concentration right now.

…

Days later Marigold returns, disheveled and on the brink of collapse. But the Supreme Commander is pleased. He gives final approval for the ceremony and the surrender to move forward.

Rey stands on the landing platform with rebel leaders as the young girl is taken away, down the ramp of a craft and into a transport headed for the med facility. Rey shakes violently with rage and Finn puts a hand on her shoulder.

The platform beneath them shakes. Poe, Finn, Rose and several others look around for the source of the tremor. 

“Is it an earthquake?” calls Rose.

“NO,” Rey spits and the metal support beams suddenly bend around them with a blast of energy unleashed from her fury.

 _Whoa!_ They shout as some tumble to the ground. All look at Rey with wide scared eyes.

“I will make Hux hurt like no one else,” comes Rey’s deadly whisper and then she stalks off. Embarrassment at loosing control of her power follows her, but it’s not enough to dissuade her determination to make Hux suffer like no man has suffered before.

…

They’re in the war room again when Ben finally comes back to her. 

Rey gasps, backing up into a wall and all eye turn to her.

She distantly registered questions of concern from the gathered leaders but all she can see is Ben.

He’s beaten and bleeding, standing in the tattered remains of his clothing. Sleeves are gone, black shirt ripped across his back, pants soaked in blood.

He takes a wobbly step forward and towers over her breathing hard, hand bracing himself against a wall above her. He doesn’t meet her eye, instead he leans down and rests his bloody head against hers.

Rey hears the collective gasp as the battered Ben materializes before everyone. His massive frame engulfs her and Rey’s hand instinctively runs up his chest,  feeling out his wounds and willing them to heal. They can only just see Rey’s intense gaze from around Ben’s sweaty, blood stained bicep. Then he speaks, and they hear him.

”We’re ready.”


	16. rathtars?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You readers are the highlight of my day. Thank you for making creating this story so fun and fulfilling. Please enjoy! There will be a prologue <3

“RATHTARS?” Rey asks incredulously.

“About 20 of them. The Attendants were well guarded and skilled at diversion. One nearly escaped but I was rather… determined to keep that from happening.”

Rey had excused herself from the war room so she and Ben could commune in private. Their connection had definitely grown stronger, allowing them to reach each other at will. The string to his heart was a warm thin signature she could tug on through the cosmos.

“It tried to blow me out an airlock… but that didn’t quite work out.”

Rey balks, her insides dropping at how close he came to losing his life. They sit, legs crossed, seemingly across from each other on the floor of her regal suite. Ben is only slightly cleaner, blood hastily wiped away leaving smudges of red and sweat and other filth. There’s a wound on his head and shoulder but most of the blood was apparently not his own. Whatever species the Attendants were, they were quite the bleeders. 

“R’iia’s shorts Ben!”

“The rathtars were far more troublesome. You probably don’t know, but they are force sensitive creatures on top of everything else. They’re these rolling balls of violence, teeth and tentacles…”

“I know them. Han was hauling rathtars on a freighter when I first met him…”

She pauses for a moment gauging Ben’s response. It seemingly peaks his interest. He raises an eyebrow giving her a sideways glance.

“We got boarded by two gangs he had swindled. I sort of accidentally let the rathtars loose while trying to help Han escape, and well… I learned a lot about rathtars. We ended up blasting out of the hanger on the falcon at lightspeed.”

 Ben lets out a great heavy sigh.

“Sounds like my…” he stops. “It sounds like Han Solo.”

A pang, sharp with loss and regrets shoots through her heart and she knows it’s Ben’s. She doesn’t know why, but Rey goes on with her story.

“I thought we were goners for sure… and if I hadn’t helped to bypass a compressor Unkar Plutt put on the hyper drive we definitely would have been…”

“Who the kriff would put a compressor on a hyperdrive…” Ben mumbles to himself. The fact that bucket of bolts hadn’t disintegrated mid-jump by now is a miracle of the force itself. He resents that resilient hunk of junk. Like so much else with his past, it stubbornly endures, refusing to die. He thinks that’s why he always preferred the newest and finest fighter tech, writing the specs himself. He longs for his Tie Silencer. 

“I know, your father agreed. Called Plutt a moof-milker.”

There’s a slight chortle from Ben and Rey looks surprised. Then he realizes that he laughed, and frowns turning away from her.

“Please stop,” he says barely above a whisper.

Rey feels his heart shattering, the retching of his guilty soul. It seems like a lifetime ago when she demanded to know why he killed his father, screaming at him from across the galaxy while blinking away tears and the sight of his glorious pecs. He never answered, always deflecting, always turning it around on her, keeping her on her toes in their intellectual tête-à-tête.

 _Why?_ The question floats from her mind to his, without anger this time, but with pity and concern. _You didn’t hate him… you… loved him?_

He sighs again. Now was not the time for this… he needed to be strong. But the recent battle had left him so drained he didn’t think he had the will to deny her anymore. It was all or nothing now. Rey was his everything and if they were going to save the galaxy together, it was becoming apparent that keeping her out of his mind was an exercise in futility.

He closes her eyes and shows her… the power of the dark side.

It’s seductive and delicious, invigorating, powerful and alive. With it he could change the future, erase his painful past and have everything he ever wanted. But its promises came with a price. The ultimate price. An ultimate… sacrifice. He shows her Snoke’s teachings and the visions from Vader’s helmet. The cost of that power was what made you human, what made you weak and foolish…

He shows her Han’s dice in the hands of a toddler with jet black curls, a dirty face and a radiant smile, following his daddy the hero… he lets her feel his excitement during his first flying lessons at 10 years old, how he longed to be a pilot like his father… how he loathed his power and the voices and how he never seemed to do anything right… how he cried into his father’s chest before being sent away at 15, knowing that his father wanted him to stay and forget all this Jedi business… he was the greatest thing Ben could have sacrificed.

 _I was wrong._ Ben thinks at her and Rey becomes aware of the tears running down her own face.

He didn’t just love his father. He loved him best.

Then she’s falling, falling, falling backwards into a hopeless dark pit. Rey blinks and her eyes fall open on a memory. 

A look of fear crosses Han Solo’s face when suddenly - red light - his face contorts in pain and despair and yet - a warm callous hand reaches out for her face. Her skin burns! She’s never seen Han’s death like this before. She can see every emotion flit through his eyes! It pulses through her body! Regret, hurt, fear, sorrow, love, fear again. 

 _My boy_ , his mind cries out. _I’m sorry Leia_ , is his final thought as he falls, seemingly tearing her soul from her body as he disappears down the oscillator shaft. Her strength drains from her, her breath catches in her lungs. A devastating loss, total and black, shakes her limbs as her stomach turns and then - PEW! - A flash of light rips her flesh with a physical pain to match her insides.

Rey is swimming in agony when she looks up and sees… herself? _Impossible… how?_  

And then there’s him, the traitor, the bastard standing side by side with the girl who should be in her possession. Rey realizes these thoughts and feelings are not her own. She’s looking through Kylo Ren’s eyes, through Kylo’s heart and then there’s just rage, Rage, RAGE! Flaming toxic hatred, hurt and pain. 

She channels it towards the TRAITOR, uses it to stand though her insides are barely contained from spilling out of the wound. _KILL HIM, KILL, HIS FAULT, DIE!_  

Rey screams and finds herself in Ben’s arms. He’s holding her tight, shaking with suppressed sobs. They stay like that, holding each other for a long time before she finds the will to speak again.

“He loved you, even after you struck him. His hand…” she sobs then finds her voice again. “We’re making it right. You can’t take it back, but you can make him proud now. He forgives you.” Ben shutters and slides down into her chest, holding her for dear life around her middle.

“I won’t leave you Ben. I’m here. You don’t have to bare it alone.”

“Rey, Rey…” he mumbles into her. “Rey, I…”

“You love me.”

She blurts it out because it’s true. And now she knows why he didn’t kill her. 

He wasn’t going to sacrifice another person he loved for Snoke’s ambition. Rey hears a sharp intake of breath and Ben rises to meet her gaze. There’s intensity, disbelief and longing. He denies nothing.

“And you… you too” he rumbles, perhaps still uncomfortable with the word love. 

Her heart hammers, emotions swell, and she smiles. And now she knows why she didn’t kill him too.

Suddenly it’s like they’re being pulled into a tunnel of light. They’re still sitting across from each other but there is no fear, no darkness, only balance, only love. They smile, invigorated with the confidence of their mutual affection and look around at the rainbow tunnel of light flying around them. Then they’re in a totally white space, there is no beginning, no end, only their energy. 

They find each other’s eyes again and are surprised to see the same eyes, but different faces looking back at them. Padme and Anakin behold each other again, and they laugh with tears of joy in their eyes.  

Then it changes. They shape shift between faces they don’t remember as well, but the eyes never change. They always find each other.

Rey closes her eyes and when she opens them this time, she finds herself standing in Snoke’s throne room again. The praetorian guard lay dead at their feet, flames fall from the burning blood red canvas walls. They look the same as they did that day. 

“I wasn’t ready to stay,” she calls to him, remembering how genuinely torn she was between his sincere please, and the lives of her friends. 

“I wasn’t ready to leave,” he murmurs, approaching her again, extending his hand the same way he had done then.

“Let go,” she whispers.

“I’m ready now,” he whispers back, removing a leather glove.

She smiles and slips her hand into his.

“I’m ready too.” 

Ben gives a small smile as he looks upon her hand in his. Then he pulls her into a crushing embrace. She looks up and he captures her lips in a slow, loving kiss, the kind he wishes would never end. 

Stars fly behind their eyelids and when she opens them a final time she’s back in her suite on Naboo, Ben sitting before her. Tears stain his face but his expression now is anything but weak.

He looks strong and confident, almost cocky. There’s light in his eyes and she smirks back at him. 

 _Nothing will stand in our way._  

When he vanishes, she doesn’t feel alone.

She can hear a tiny, quick heartbeat that isn’t her own, strumming along within her and she thinks that maybe it’s the force’s way of letting her know that _her Ben_ is alive on the other side of the galaxy waiting for her.

—-  

The day of the wedding dawns cold and clear. The ceremony is to take place on the newly rebuilt supremacy. The gleaming behemoth hovers menacingly above Naboo’s atmosphere, visible even in daylight. 

Everyone is playing their roles. Evidence of the resistance encampment is all but gone. It’s quiet. The spectacular grounds of the castle are empty. Flowers and fountains, vines and baby animals in the yawning fields all move with the breeze, heedless of the tension. 

Today, fate decides if Naboo’s way of life endures, or will end in charred rubble and flesh.

In an expansive ornate chamber, nervous hands and frightened eyes dress Rey in her full wedding garb. Shaking fingers paint her face pale, and draw red lines on her lips.

Rey reaches out and grabs one of the handmaiden’s hands, giving her a squeeze and a warm glance.  

“It’ll be alright,” she says.

The maiden smiles nervously back and keeps working on the heavy headdress.

Before long she is a vision to behold. Adorned and beautiful and deadly.

The real queen enters dressed as one of her handmaidens and grabs Rey’s hands. She looks so young without her gowns and make up.

“We thank you for your courage Jedi Rey. Please, be safe. Be victorious.”

“Thank you your Majesty. We will be.”

The Queen smiles and departs with her entourage, leaving Rey a few moments to herself.

As they exit, Finn enters. He has to remember to breathe. He hardly believes the impressive figure before him is his friend.

“Finn,” she calls.

“It’s time,” he says walking up before her. He’s dressed in a fine gray suit, with a vest and black frills. He’ll be one of their well armed ushers.

“Don’t you look handsome? It’ll be a pity to ruin such a nice suit.”

Finn chuckles, playing with his cuffs.

“You’re pretty too… I mean for a Jedi…like strong, you look strong.”

Rey laughs.

He goes on. “This is it huh? Are you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

Rey pauses then takes his hands as well. It seems to work as a comforting gesture.

“Finn. We’re going to win,”  she says with confidence.

He’s about to respond when Rose opens the door. She squeaks, says something barely intelligible about not wanting to interrupt, and flees.

Rey let’s out an amused sigh.

“If you like that girl you should let her know.”

Finn stutters, making sounds but no words.

“Now would be a good time. Big battle and all.”

Rey can almost see the lightbulb going off in his head.

“Oh yeah,” he says feeling dumb.

“Gooo,” she sings and he runs from the room after Rose.

Rey giggles, smoothing down her dress… then Finn runs back, surprising her.

“Oh!”

“Sorry. What do I say, what do I do?”

She can only laugh. A flustered Finn goes on.

“What did you and… you know… what did he do?” 

“Well that’s different,” Rey starts, thinking hard. “We were fighting and crying and then I kissed him and we just started making out…”

“What? You kissed _him_ first? After a fight? Why…?”

“Because… I, I… I love him.”

Saying the words for the first time out loud feel both alien and cathartic at the same time. Finn looks like his brain has stopped working.

Rey smiles. “Just go, be honest.”

He’s still not computing. Stunned, Finn just nods and walks out of the room, looking back at his beautiful friend. _Love?_ He’ll never understand how this happened, and while it still hurts his heart a little, he vows to remain her most loyal friend forever.

Finn shakes his head and sets a look of determination on his face. They have a war to win. But first things first, he has a girl to go kiss.

—-

A royal procession assembles in the main hall of the castle, preparing to welcome the First Order receiving party. Commanders complete final weapons and communications tests. Wires are tucked into floral arrangements, carbon blasters folded carefully into walking sticks, garters, bosoms and belts.

Poe is the last person to approach Rey before they close the door of her white floral palanquin.

“You’re beautiful,” he says simply and Rey blushes.

“Make them hurt.”

She meets his fiery gaze with one of her own.

“I will.”

—-

It’s a twisted celebration.

Held in a large docking bay, the room is flanked by hundreds of armed storm troopers. Large guns, walkers and other armaments surround the wedding party. Poe, posing as an usher as well, spots snipers waiting menacingly from the upper levels. They’re obviously ready for a fight should there be the slightest resistance.

Rey looks all around her with a steely gaze as she exits the palanquin.

Then she closes her eyes. 

She can feel him! He’s here, even if she can’t see him yet. Her eyes wander as she marches slowly down the aisle.

The Naboo delegation of a few hundred lines either side of her path, standing shoulder to shoulder facing inward as she passes by. They’re flanked every 50 feet or so my gleaming white storm troopers. She wonders for a moment whether they had to polish their uniforms for this. Poe gives her a wink. Finn nods. Rose gives her a knowing smile.  

Hux is a vision of slime. He stands, a smirk on his lips, his bright red hair slicked back. He wears a long white coat and a thin, black, thorn-like crown on his head.

She arrives before him, turning to face her would-be groom. She notes that the preacher appears to be a wizened old man, not the type she’d think to be a secret fighter.

Hux blows a kiss with his lips and it takes all her mental fortitude to not vomit on his obnoxiously white shoes.

“Beloved gathered. We stand together today to honor the union…” the preacher has only just begun the ceremony, when she hears his voice.

 _You’re gorgeous._ Rey hears in her head.

 _I know._ She thinks back teasingly.

It’s the smirk that gives her away. Hux’s face falls. The woman he demeaned and broke down would not be smiling at a time like this. Something was a foot!

Rey instantly notices the change in his demeanor and her heart races! _No sense in waiting then._

Rey lights her saber inside the bouquet. Purple light is reflected in his eyes as the double sided weapon tears forth!

Hux only has enough time for a comical expression of surprise before she liberates him of an arm, and then two!

All hell breaks loose.

Ben Solo emerges not far behind the priest. What Rey thought were tall, gangly black hooded aliens were actually Ben and his Knights, holding up the decapitated heads of the attendants while they hid in the robes below. His hand flies up and so does an armless Supreme Commander Hux.

Troopers open fire from all directions and the knights dive into the fray. Frill, sequence and flowers go flying as rebels reach for their weapons and tear out of their pretty clothes. 

Ben squeezes Hux’s throat and turns him, relishing the terror in his eyes and the agony of his screams.

“My congratulations on your wedding day. It’s quite the riot of fun,” Ben’s voice is deep, matter-of-fact, yet predatory.

Rey helps to defend Ben’s position, deflecting blasters and cutting down enemy troopers as he continues his torture.

“Sorry to crash the party. Did you think me dead? How unfortunate.”

Hux struggles against the invisible grip around him.

“The galaxy is in poor hands with a creature as weak as you,” Ben says as he kicks a dismembered arm. 

“You lack vision,” and he’s pulling Hux’s eyes from their sockets with the force. His screams are like sweet music. 

Ben whispers menacingly in his ears, “And obviously you lack a head for strategy,” and there goes his head. Hux has fallen and Ben savors his revenge.

“I’ll take it from here.”

He turns and returns to the fight. 

Beside him is a sight even more savory than Hux’s dismembered corpse at his feet. Rey has flung off the head piece, her gown apparently designed with a tear away skirt and sleeves. She’s left fighting in something akin to a minidress, looking like a dark goddess as she twirls her double ended weapons, cutting down her enemies, blood and sweat on her brow and he thinks he’s never seen anything more beautiful in his life.

He’s by her side, fighting back to back like they did in Snoke’s throne room. He’s an animal, joyful, vicious and free.

Together they blow away an advance of troopers with a powerful blast of the force. It gives Ben time to turn and spin Rey around, wrap an arm around her waist and dive in for a passionate kiss. It’s always better in person.

A panting Rey pushes back on his chest.

“I could have sliced you in half you know.”

Her lovely face is all he sees. His eyes devour her, affection welling, heart racing. Now’s the time to execute his other secret plan.

“Marry me,” he pleads deeply, pressing his forehead to hers.

It’s as if everything stops. Rey stares stunned into his dark, passionate eyes.

“The Queen of Naboo did me a favor,” Ben force pulls the terrified elderly priest  who had been cowering in a corner. “This is a real ordained minister familiar with the ancient rights, not just a fighter in disguise. It’d be such a pity to waste the ceremony…”

Rey battles a war of emotions. 

“Ben…?”

“Marry me. Take my name. Be my family.”

Their enemies are back. They swing, the priest cowers and Rey cries tears of joy the more she thinks about it.

Rey. Solo. Organa. Sywalker.

She would have a name. She can’t decide which she’d like better. Maybe she’ll take them all.

She would have a family. Han would be her father. Leia would be her mother. Ben would be her husband. Her children would have a legacy. 

She swings her blades and laughs. It’s everything she’s wanted her entire life.

Ben grins a big grin and he looks goofy and sweet, even as he kicks his enemies to the ground and slays them with his red cross blade. Rey doesn’t think she could love anything more in existence.

“Yes,” she whispers to herself. Then she’s screaming it.

“YES, YES, YES!”

They turn and grasp hands and the frightened priest begins administering the ancient rights of marriage.

There’s a flash and the force creates a beautiful cage of light around them.

They seal their bond with a kiss and emerge victorious to a room full of startled witnesses. The battle is over, the troopers slain, the generals captured. The knights kneel and everyone else follows suit as they emerge from their cocoon of light as rulers and keepers of the galaxy, King and Queen, husband and wife.

—

The waiting resistance forces make their move as soon as there’s word of Hux’s demise, ambushing the supremacy and surrounding ships. It isn’t long before Ben has seized control and ordered a cease fire.

What follows is messy… they summon generals, demand loyalty, those who refuse die. They consolidate power and plan to discuss peace.

But there’s something odd, something amiss that Rey hasn’t been able to put a finger on since reuniting with her new husband.

Then, in a quiet moment on the bridge of the Supremacy as they look out over the stars, she notices it. She thought the heartbeat she heard within her was Ben’s, from across the galaxy. But now that he was standing beside her, and she could feel his pulse… there were _three_ heartbeats.

Ben notices her train of thought and turns to her with a knowing smile.

“What is it?” she asks with big pleading eyes.

He places a hand on her abdomen and smiles.

“Our family.” 


	17. epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’ve loved writing this story, and I love all the wonderful people who have commented on it. Truly, Thank You for making my day. As you’ll see, I really struggle to end things. I don’t plan on writing any more on this, but if Anyone would like to pick up where I left off and continue the adventures of these characters I would really love that. Thank You Again! *muah!*

 

Family?

Our…family?

It takes a moment for Rey to understand. The warmth of Ben’s hand radiates on her belly.

But, It’s so alien, so unbelievable, so…

A child? Our child? In me?

She thinks… well she doesn’t know what to think. She knew that what they had done was how procreation happens, but she had thought, I don’t know, that she’d have to want for it to happen. There’s elation and fear, wonder and anxiety. She looks at him with tears in her eyes…

Then Rey thinks about her parents and his… her childhood and his… and she feels a woops of terror go through her.

“Don’t be afraid,” he murmurs, his grip tightening, moisture in his eyes matches her own.

 “We are not your parents or mine,” Ben says firmly. “We’ve changed the future, and now, we’ll make this right too.”

A rush of relief and exhilaration fill Rey to the brim and she meets his determined gaze.

She just opens her mouth to speak when they both feel it. Rey and Ben gasp and turn their heads, sensing a tugging of the force. A familiar aura is flickering. A powerful will is fleeing the force.

They’re running and before they know it they’re by Leia’s bedside. Rey is curled up beside Leia on the bed as Ben stands, stoic and unmoving, looking out of place and at a loss for what to do. He doesn’t deserve his mother’s forgiveness, after all the pain he’s caused, and the pre-mature death he’s the cause of. He took her husband, broke her heart, failed to protect her from the missile that pierced the bridge of the Raddus.

But there was still much he didn’t forgive her for either. For sending him away, for fearing his darkness instead of acknowledging that darkness lives in us all. It’s a part of the balance. He wishes his parents had known to embrace him instead of isolate him. He wishes it could all be different, that they could have a second chance.

Then she opens her eyes.

With her final strength Leia lifts a shaking hand towards her son, a glimmer in her gaze. Rey sits up, already crying, watching the scene unfold before her.

Ben lets out a ragged breath, before his large trembling fingers engulf her own.

“I’m sorry,” comes Leia raspy, struggling voice.

His heart feels like it’s being ripped from his chest and it takes all his focus the keep himself from breaking down entirely in that moment. Deep brown eyes snap up as he feels his mother’s life slipping away beneath his fingertips.

“Me too,” comes his deep, broken voice. His throat burns with suppressed emotion as Leia, winces and closes her eyes.

Her voice fails her, as does her body. And with her last thread of consciousness she reaches out to her son with her mind.

_I’ll be with you. Always._

As she fades from the force Rey lowers her head, kissing Leia’s hand and laying it on her chest. She stands, taking Ben’s hand instead and giving it a squeeze. She can feel his giant frame shuttering, wrecked with suppressed sobs. He kneels, thinking he doesn’t deserve his mother’s love but desperately relieved to have had it in the end. Rey’s hands move to his shoulders and that’s how they stay for a long time in reverence of the life force that just left them.

Neither knows how long they’re standing like that when their mourning is interrupted by… what’s that?

Something they didn’t sense before. Ben spins around placing his hands on Rey’s belly and she gasps, meeting his eyes with awe. The tiny heart beat within her is not one, but two. And they highly suspect they know, who has joined her sibling.

The force has truly given their family a second chance.

\----

11 YEARS LATER

Mara and Gray stand among the landing party on the small shuttle, descending from the mega star destroyer down to the dreamscape that was the lake country of Naboo.

They huddle together in the cramped quarters among their secretive personal guard, flanked by two Knights of Ren and a few paces behind their indomitable father. Clad in his black armor and robes, he commands these forces, and all the Free Order forces across the galaxy. They know by now they are expected to behave, at least, that is, until they can get away from prying eyes.

Mara and Gray have always been heavily guarded, and often didn’t see or speak with anyone but their parents, their parent’s close friends and a handful of students. The twins have grown up onboard various giant Free Order ships, at times alternating between Coruscant and Naboo. But they are never far from their parent’s sides, always with either one or the other, but rarely with both together.

That’s why the 10-year-olds are so excited. For three glorious days they are going to be together as a family, thanks to some big galactic meeting. Plus, they’ll get to see Uncle Finn and Auntie Rose, who they haven’t seen in close to a year.

Gray is a happy go lucky, sweet and bubbly boy, much like his mother. Mara is more reserved and serious like her father, but with a wicked sense of humor.  Even now she pinches her brother using the force, he winces, whining, “Stoppp,” as low as he can.

A moment later they both wince.

“Ow!”

Both are pinched on the arm at the same time and they look up ahead to see their father shoot them a mischievous smirk, followed by a definite sense that if they didn’t cut it out, they’d feel it in training later.

_You got us in trouble._

_Maybe if your face wasn’t so punchable I could control myself._

_You’re not funny Mara._

_No, I’m hilarious._

Ben lets a deep sigh escape his throat as he tries to tune out his children’s mental squabbling. He can’t wait to see his Rey.

The twins crane their necks to look out a tiny view port as they zoom over their family’s Naboo lake house. A minute later the shuttle shutters as it lands on a platform before a collection of what look like small castles surrounding a large lake, framed by mountains that are alight with the reds and oranges of the early morning sun.

The ramp descends and as the troops file out Mara and Grey catch sight of their mother in billowing white and grey robes, her hair in a half bun and a giant gleaming smile on her face. Their 5-year-old brother Jace is wrapped around her leg.

“Mom!”

“Mommy!”

Shucking all decorum, the twins break from the landing party rushing their mother who they haven’t seen in three months. They tackle her into a heap of happy giggles, hugs and wet kisses. It feels so good not only to be in her presence after so long, but to be able to call her mother without fear of discovery.

After taking hold of the First Order, Rey and Ben began a long, arduous process of transition with Ben commanding the military might of the First Order as Rey led the great galactic negotiations for autonomy and free governance. There were still a great many dissenters, but what came of it all was the Free Order.

Galactic governance, with the safety and order of those worlds guaranteed by Ren and his forces.

He took the mantel of Supreme Commander Solo of the Free Order forces while Rey temporarily became leader of the new Galactic Senate, with the power to veto if things got off track of their vision.

It had been incredibly stressful, especially since they had chosen to keep her pregnancy a secret. They knew their family would be the ultimate target.

It took a long time for the twins to understand that it was for their own protection. It’s still a sore spot in their little souls that they can’t always acknowledge their parents when they’re before the other students or in public. For Mara, it’s more of a sore spot than for her sweet, sensitive brother. Gray has always been a peace-maker and Mara loves to tease him. But she also is never quite as enraged as when someone makes him cry. Mara often wonders if the world is as dangerous as their parents make it out to be…

But right now, there is only bliss.

“My lovey monsters how I’ve missed you!” Rey calls as she hugs her children close.

Eventually the twins move on from their mother, to grapple with their younger brother.

Ben approaches, dark robes billowing, his deep brown eyes devouring the sight of her. He offers her a hand, lifting her effortlessly up and into his chest.

“Husband,” she breathes, arms circling his impossibly broad chest, made more-so by the armor.

“Wife,” he rumbles and Rey delights in the sound.

They savor their brief display of affection before breaking away, knowing they’ll have time to catch up soon. Rey steps back and they take each other’s hands and squeeze.

To most they are saviors of the galaxy. An undefeatable couple bound by marriage and the mystical wonder of the force. But their greatest achievement, they feel, is as mother and father. Mara, Gray and Jace are strong and loved and SAFE. It’s a significant achievement considering the magnitude of threats they’ve both fended off. 

After Rey handed off governance responsibilities to an elected leader, she was able to focus on finding and training force sensitives from dozens of worlds. That allowed Mara and Gray the chance to meet new people and act like normal kids. It also gave their parents time to conceive their brother ;)

Rey and Ben took turns teaching about both the light and dark sides of the force and in so doing they were able to pass the children back and forth. The truth only known to their inner most circle.

Finally tearing his eyes away from hers, Ben steps over, reaches down into the fray of little bodies and pulls up Jace, holding him high above his head at full arms-length. 

“Did you take care of your mother? Did you protect her? Did you do everything she says? Did you get stronger?” 

Little Jace giggles, nodding his head as he stretches his little arms down trying to embrace his father.

“Hug!”

“Did you take a bath and do your weapons training? Did you eat your vegetables?”

Chuckling he finally lets the boy down and lets his little arms wrap around his neck in a crushing embrace.

“I see these little rathtars are  _sooo_ much more-tame after their time with Daddy,” Rey says with sass as the twins try to scale their tiny mother.

He just scoffs.

“They have too much of their mother in them.” 

She scoffs back and punches him playfully (too hard) in the gut and they share an electric, knowing glance. He’ll get her back for that when they’re alone.

They need to make an appearance at the palace before the galactic summit. 

Reluctantly they entrust their children to the care of their human nannies and the two Knights of Ren who are accompanying them on this particular mission. They’ll be safe for the time being. 

….

Bliss personified is the only way to describe their day.

Once the preliminary meetings with dignitaries at the palace are over, Ben and Rey return and sweep into the wide marbled entryway of their castle-like home, shucking their capes and gathering screaming children into their arms. As Rey swings Jace and Mara around, Ben flings Gray into the air with the force and sends him soaring up to the very top of the vaulted ceiling. 

He plummets into his father’s arms, landing with an _Oomf_ before erupting into hysterical laughter. Rey shoots Ben a sharp look once her heart starts beating again.

“What? I caught him,” Ben says defensively, as he chuckles, mischief in his eyes.

Then the other children are clambering around their father with arms up, begging to be thrown as high.

“You always were a fan of inappropriate uses of the force,” Rey laughs.

Ben gestures as if to say, ‘who me?’ in a way highly reminiscent of the scoundrel Han Solo. Then he scoops up Mara and Jace and flings them both in the air.

“Rii’a’s beard,” cries Rey as she dives to catch a shrieking Jace. Mara lands in her father’s big black arms, her wild hair falling over her face as she giggles madly.  

Later, in an expansive kitchen, Ben and his best kitchen droids prepare a delectable dinner of favorites from across the galaxy. Rey, Gray and Jace are not allowed to help because they eat the ingredients but Mara is an eager student. Cooking time with Dad is her favorite time.  Ben floats some Endorian beats her way, and flicks Mara’s little high top pony tail when she’s sliced them correctly. She beams at the affection.

Ben had vowed long ago that their children would never be left alone with any droids. Though, practically being raised by a kitchen droid did leave him with some impressive culinary skills. What a strange but wonderful thing this was. Giving what he always longed to receive, living through his children’s happy smiles. There was a time in his life of only darkness and despair, he could have never imagined this life for himself. And now, he knew he could never be without it. These small moments, rare as they were, meant everything.

…

Later that evening the family walks along the lake front as the sun sets brilliantly over the mountaintops. 

Lush cliff faces surround the water in all directions, accented by wildflowers and babbling brooks. 

Their parents are fighting again.

Well, play fighting.

Beside the shimmering country lake, with twilight sending a million sparkles off the gently rippling waters… Ben and Rey stand facing off against each other dramatically.

They’ve dressed down to more casual attire. Ben in a cool thin black shirt with a soft folded fabric v-neck collar flapping in the wind. His pants are also black but thinner. Rey is wearing an airy, sleeveless beige tunic and gray capris.

“Fight me Jedi,” Ben booms, pointing a wooden training staff in her direction.

She laughs in his face. “You know you’re no match for me. I’ll destroy you.”

Their normally stoic father gets way too into it. Standing tall upon a rocky hill he proclaims, “You may try, but you will see that the force is stronger with me.”

Their boys giggle while Mara rolls her eyes. They’re playing on some boulders nearby.

Mara whines, “Really? You guys do the same thing every time. Then disappear for hours…”

“I will defend my honor,” Rey proclaims, stepping up with her own play staff.

Grey shouts excitedly, “Yeah! Get him mom!”

Mara scoffs. “Please, we all know Dad is the strongest. All he has to do is tickle her...”

Rey attacks! Ben blocks her blows above his head then spins blocking another blow from behind, then stabs at her. Rey leaps, twisting over his head and landing behind him. Their fight carries over the boulder and down onto the beach where Rey uses the force to hit him with a wall of water. He slices through the water sending streams of spray all around him, soaking his short sleeve shirt so that it now clings to every sinewy muscle flexing and striking with power. He blocks an intensely quick series of strikes and force pushes her back towards the woods.

The children try to follow cheering, but it isn’t long before they lose their parents like they always do.

Rey and Ben are working up a sweat, not pulling any punches. They put power into their strikes causing tremors in the ground. It’s too much for their staffs. The wooden swords shatter sending splinters flying. It gives Rey time to scramble back into a cool cavernous cave.

This was carved out by water. Tree roots are snaking through the stone making the air sweet and damp.

Ben recovers quickly, stalking his prey into the cave.

“Yield,” he demands in a sultry boom.

Rey backs into a wall and Ben pulls her hands above her head.

“Never,” she proclaims and he captures her mouth with a passion. Ben kisses his wife like it’s the first and the last time.

She whimpers into his mouth, throwing her arms around his neck and leaping up. He easily catches her by the bottom, pressing harder into her against the cool cave wall.

An overwhelming sense of peace and gratitude swell within him. Ben halts his moment of passion and pulls away letting his head fall on her shoulder and pulling his Rey into a tighter embrace, breathing her in. Rey smiles knowingly and hugging him back. They share an overwhelming sense of relief.

“I missed you too,” she whispers, answering his unspoken sentiment.

He growls his contentment.

“Now kiss me.”

She doesn’t have to ask him twice.

And for two hours Ben gets reacquainted with his wife several times.

…

It’s on their return, just as they emerge from a clearing approaching their estate that the blast happens.

A massive explosion rattles the ground, and off in the distance, in the direction of the palace, a giant fireball rises into the night sky.

They run back to the family compound, skidding to a halt in the courtyard.

Gray and Jace are frightened and hugging. Their small staff are gathering together looking off to the distance where thick black smoke is rising.

Looking around, Ben makes a sinking realization.

“Where’s Mara?”

“She ran towards it, after the knights left. I couldn’t stop her…” says Gray.

Ben is off before he can finish talking.

“Stay here, don’t move!” Commands Rey as she takes off after her husband, leaping onto a sleek land speeder. Catching up to Ben, she holds out a hand. He takes it, leaping onto the speeder behind her and together they race towards the palace.

...

Mara has always been daring, always eager. She doesn’t want to be left behind, especially when she thinks she can help. She waits until the knights guarding them take off, before bolting towards the thrill of danger.

That thrill is quickly extinguished when she runs right into a full-scale assault!

Mara gasps and throws herself to the ground as laser fire zooms over her head. This is too much! She must get away!

A large part of the palace is burning, the charred bodies of men and women lay strewn across the grounds. She’s never seen a dead body before and the sight alone is like a punch to her chest, followed by the percussion of another blast nearby. Mara screams a little and starts crawling back towards the tree line when something comes walking over the hill. With thunderous steps she sees a line of modified AT-AT Walkers, all in black.

 _But those are Dad’s weapons,_ she thinks wildly to herself. _This can’t be right! What is happening!?_

The ground rattles as a walker crashes through the trees beside her, shattering trees and blocking her route of escape.

The massive machine turns with a sickening whine, training its weapons on Mara scrambling in the grass.

She cries knowing there’s nowhere to run and then…!

He’s there like a wall of darkness. A crushing blackness sweeps before her, halting a massive blast dead in the air. The viciousness of it chills her to the bone. Mara is left shaking, looking up to see the face of her savior when he turns to look over his shoulder and it’s her father! He’s grimacing at the weight of the force holding the blast. It’s the first time she’s ever witnessed the true crushing intensity of his dark power. Was this really her Daddy?

“Run!” He screams.

She’s too petrified to move.

Ben screams agagin, throwing the blast back from where it came. It strikes the walker with a blinding explosion. Then he jolts her back with the force and it’s finally enough to snap Mara into action.

“Go protect your brothers!”

“But dad…”

“GOOO!” he roars, just as another barrage comes their way.

There’s a sweep of light and her mother is there. Rey’s power is just as intense but with a smoother, brighter texture, not as terrifying as her father’s. It is pure awe, like the energy of the earth itself rising up around her.

Mara closes her eyes and she can feel her parents’ energy flowing around each other, repelling attacks, predicting new ones. It’s like life itself. It’s total awe.

She’s pulled out of her wonder by a tug in her chest…

Gray! He’s in trouble! She can feel her twin’s panic. She’s dashing off like a rocket, willing the force to make her faster.

…

It’s mayhem back at the estate.

Their staff lay stunned and bloodied across the courtyard. Gray and Jace are huddled in the center, surrounded by dark figures. One reaches down lifting the both of them easily. She hears their screams as Gray fights to keep his little brother in his arms.

It’s her only chance.

She grabs the practice saber at her side. It won’t kill but she might be able to stun some of their attackers, causing enough confusion for them to get away.

She screams a warrior cry and dives at the group. Her brothers fall to the ground and she swings her blade as quickly as she can. But she’s met with red energy weapons she’s never seen before. Just two of them attack her, the others looming, dark humor and murderous intent spilling from them in waves.

They’re too strong, too fast!

Moments later the saber is flung from her hand and Mara is force thrown back at her siblings. She lands with an _oomf_ and hugs her sniffling brothers close.

“You will learn to obey little Skywalkers,” comes a low, almost reptilian voice of one of the hooded figures.

All seems lost when…

VROOOM

The Millennium Falcon swoops in! Uncle Finn and Chewie at the controls. They open fire, taking out several dark figures. The attackers around the children scatter. The Falcon lands continuing a barrage of fire, as Mara pulls her brothers out of the courtyard and behind a stone wall.

Seconds later two familiar presences in the force are back. Rey and Ben descend on their enemies in a blur of light. Ben and Mara peak over the edge of the wall at the brutal power of their parents’ attacks. The twins for the first time begin to understand who their mother and father truly are.

Moments later the sounds of battle quiet. The would-be kidnappers lie dead, but for one.

“Get the children,” Rey calls to Finn and Chewie.

Ben towers over the last living assailant, Rey joining him at his side.

“Who are you,” his voice is deadly.

 That reptilian creature just laughs and gasps a bloody breath.

“Who. Are. You,” Ben booms, laying all the weight of the force to compel the creature’s compliance.

“Sith,” it hisses.

Rey and Ben share a stunned look before Ben drops to his knees, pulling the black assailant up by its tattered robes.

“What’s your purpose here?”

“The heirs of Skywalker will join us or perish. We will restore the First Order and destroy all your foolish sentiment.”

BAM! Ben slams the evil thing down on the ground, breaking into its mind with his outstretched fingers. “Tell me everything.”

…

“I didn’t know Snoke had other apprentices.” Rey can’t keep the fear from her voice.

They stand outside the childrens’ chamber. The three young siblings are finally asleep after their terrifying ordeal, snuggled up in a giant bed with their Uncle Chewie keeping watch.

“I made an effort to dispatch them once Snoke was gone. There must have been a survivor.”

“They know who our children are. They won’t stop.”

“Nothing will tear us apart. We take the fight to them. NOW.”

Rey puts her hand upon his shoulder.

“We can’t leave the children alone. We can’t hide them. But if they come with us, we’re taking them right into the heart of danger. No one is powerful enough to stop this threat but us. And no one is powerful enough to protect our children but us. We can’t trust your Knights. You know as well as I how restless they are. If there’s a new apprentice to Snoke, a new Sith… they could turn on us. They won’t protect our children. What do we do?”

Ben wraps his arms around his wife, taking some solace in her light. He hates to admit that she’s right. His Knights grow tired of peace. He will have to test their loyalty again.

“No one is taking this from us,” He rumbles into her hair, kissing her head. “We’ll fight them. As a family. The children stay with us.”

At daybreak they set out together in a hunt for the monsters that would tear their family and the galaxy asunder.


End file.
